Month: September 2016

TODAY THE WORDS are INGREDIENTS IN A FRIEND. I think I can speak on this subject very profoundly as I have been blessed with a great assortment of friends throughout my lifetime. Some have come and gone out of my life; some have been there for a lifetime; some are very close and we keep in touch; and some are my infrequent friends with whom I communicate rarely but they are still dear to me. In thinking about friends and a person who loves to cook, I thought I would come up with a recipe for those friends we can’t do without (kind of like chocolate cake) and this was my thoughts:

The next time you start to make a new friend cake, make sure you have all of the ingredients for being a great friend to them. Live life; love life; and live life to the fullest by adding friends to your life and keep the dear friends you already have!

You can check out the friendly article by clicking on the link above. 

ONE WORD AT A TIME is on my mind this morning and I thought I would spend some time on this thought with you. I am in the process of the first edit on the second book in my series REFLECTIONS OF LOVE and I find it intriguing how one word can make a significant difference.  If one word in an entire book can alter the theme of the book or the depiction of a character, how important are our words spoken or written to other people? Have you ever said something you meant a certain way only to have someone think you meant an entirely different meaning? How many misunderstandings occur from a text or voice mail? Each word has the potential to enhance, encourage or discourage another human being. Let’s break this down and consider what we say.

Here is one of my original quotes on Arline’s Little Quotes on the blog and I will give you an example of how one word can change the entire quote:

TODAY THE WORD is MISERY. Isn’t this a switcheroo? Miss Positive herself, is writing about misery. I was driving yesterday for several hours and this word came to mind about how people encourage misery in their lives. Why, you may ask, would anyone encourage misery since no one desires to be miserable. I don’t know if any of you watched the movie, Misery, with James Caan, Kathy Bates, that was filmed in 1990. It is a grueling story of how one fan became so obsessed with an author she kept him captive and made him write the next book. She subjected him to so much misery and pain. I see people who subjectively put themselves in misery and pain by the choices they make.

Life throws people enough curves on its own without us making it simpler for life to cheat us out of the blessings that are meant to come our way. How is this possible for one to encourage misery as it seems more natural for us to want happiness, peace and contentment? For some reason, and it may be subconsciously hidden, I think people who have low self esteem crave attention and that opens some doors that should remain shut. Any attention is better than none; and therefore the problem manifests itself. The victim status comes into play. No one likes me; I am not pretty enough; I can’t find a job; my spouse doesn’t treat me right; I am too fat or I am too skinny; and on and on until the person starts believing they are a victim. I am a compassionate person but I say do not encourage “playing victimitis” when you hear someone make the comments seeking attention. True hardships as I was speaking earlier warrant our compassion while at the same time, compassion given to the attention deprived victim is harmful. In place of the compassion, give encouragement in the good things about the person to build the self esteem is my philosophy.

Why add misery to misery by agreeing with a trivial whine? Could we try when someone says something negative, to say something positive? Misery loves company, so help that person out of their “misery status” to a more productive status. “I can’t find a job” may be an opening to “Where have you been looking” or “Have you tried there?” instead of “I know, you won’t be able to find a job in this town”. Happy people have bad days too: they just deal with them better. Don’t invite Misery in for dinner; it may never leave!

DOGGIE TEATS, GOOD OR BAD IDEA? I had posted the original message below when our dog Buster was a puppy. He is now 3 years old and has his tricks down very well. I thought we should look at this idea of treating dogs to learn tricks.

Original Post: TODAY THE WORDS are DOGGIE TREATS. I am in the process of teaching our puppy, Buster a few tricks. He is smart and learns quickly. He has mastered the combination of “the high five; the other (meaning the other paw for high five); up on back legs, and then down to a lying position; and the bark on command. All of these are done without me saying anything and using hand signals. Since he has been doing this combination very well with a treat given on the conclusion of each set, he understands he has to do his routine before the treat is given. I have progressed to the “dance around” which he does dance around several times before the treat. This week has been the “walk” and even though it is similar to the dance around with him up on his hind legs, he has mastered the difference and walked about 5-6 feet this morning with Greg watching. Of course, he had his treat to reward him. Here is the funny part, and Greg tells me I am silly when I do this. Bandit was not taught tricks ( he was already grown when we rescued him) but I go over during the training session with Buster and ask Bandit if he wants to do tricks. I have to lift one leg and say “Give me five” and then I have to lift the other leg and say “other”. Then I say Good Boy and give him a treat. I know he thinks that is his trick to get me to do the work and he gets the treat. It is funny to us and allows him to be included. He sits on command and we love him dearly. The treats come when they go out in the morning for their “business” and Buster knows to lead me into the kitchen to the “treat cabinet” and nudge the door. As smart and mischievous as Buster is; one day he will have it opened and feasting. The treats are a reward for a good job so that brings me to the deeper thought of this message….God is our life trainer and during our life, we are going through a spiritual training. Right at first, as puppies, we are taught the basics from our parents and they reward us throughout our childhood with “worldly” treats such as clothing, bikes, games, phones, etc. and we usually flourish and learn new tricks of life as we grow. We are taught to behave, speak when it is appropriately, do our chores and schoolwork, and sports if that is part of what we learn. When we grow up, we actually take on the role of trainer and repeat to our children the “tricks” of life we learned. Again, treats are given and so on, life goes. The best “feat” or “trick of life” we need to learn is life is life and as important as it seems with all of the training; the most important part is how we earn the best, most flavorful, long lasting (as a matter of fact, it is eternal) reward…..Eternity with our Creator and God. We will “Give Five, Other, Jump Up and Lay Down and Bark along with Walking and Dancing in the presence of Our Loved Ones and we can sit at Our Lord’s feet. I know Buster loves his doggie treats, but I will love to be one of us to receive God’s reward for believing in Him, loving Him above all else, and worshipping Him. Live Life, Love Life, and Live Life to the fullest by seeking the truth and knowledge to take us to our Heavenly Treat.

I found a great article on Using Food When Training on The Association of Professional Dog Trainers. Here is the article and the site you can check out for great training ideas: https://apdt.com/pet-owners/choosing-a-trainer/food/ 

Why Do Trainers Use Food When Training?
1. What do Rewards Have to do with it?It’s poetic to think that dogs live to please their masters, but the reality is that dogs live to please themselves. When we ask our dogs to do something, the first thought racing through their heads is, “What’s in it for me right now?” Behaviors that are rewarded are statistically more likely to be repeated, so when we regularly reward our dogs for a job well done, they’ll want to keep showing up for work! Not all rewards are created equal, and understanding what your dog finds rewarding is an important step in the training process.2. Using Food in TrainingFood can be a very valuable reinforcer (paycheck!) for dogs during training. It’s one of a very short list of things that dogs are born already knowing is good. While most dogs easily learn to enjoy praise, petting and play – all of which also make good rewards — food still holds a special place in their mind due to its primal nature.Some people express concern about using food in training, worried they will create a dog who will only work if he knows there’s food. This is a valid concern, as it can happen if food is mis-used. The trick is to make sure that food is being used as a reward and not a bribe. There’s a big difference!When we ask our dogs to do something, the first thought racing through their heads is, “What’s in it for me right now?”3. Reward vs. BribeIf you ask the dog to do something, he does it, and you give him a treat, that treat is a reward. If you ask the dog to do something he knows how to do, a behavior that he has demonstrated repeatedly on request for a long period of time, and he doesn’t do it, maybe you ask again. If he STILL doesn’t do it, and when you then reach into your pocket and get a treat, and all of the sudden the dog springs into action to comply with your original request, THAT treat just became a bribe! You asked him to do it, he didn’t, you got food, and he decided to get to work. Good training strives to avoid this.4. Preventing BriberyThe trick is to get the visual presence of the food out of the learning picture as soon as possible. For example, when lure-training (think cookie on the dog’s nose and over his head to achieve a sit), you want to get the cookie off his nose just as soon as you see him grasp the physical mechanics of the behavior. At that point, start using the same gesture minus the cookie, and reward the dog with a treat from your pocket once his rear is on the floor. This helps teach the dog the important lesson that he must successfully do the work before you’re willing to dole out the reward.Another important tip for preventing accidental bribery is to make sure you have your dog’s attention before asking him to do something. Often, people resort to bribery because the dog didn’t respond the first time they asked – but when they asked, the dog wasn’t even paying attention. Try to avoid talking to your dog’s tail end! Before asking your dog to sit, lie down, or come when you call him, do your best to make sure he’s looking at you. Teach him to respond quickly to his name, so that when he’s distracted, using his name will prompt him to check in, at which point you can ask for the next behavior. You want him to respond to his name with the same enthusiasm that he responds to the words “Do you want a treat?”5. Using Life Rewards in Addition to Food TreatsOnce your dog is reliably responding to your hand-signals, begin to vary how he gets his rewards. Sometimes use a treat, but often times, use something else he’s telling you he wants – like his leash put on to go for a walk, his favorite toy to be thrown, or an invitation to join you on the couch for snuggle time. By using these types of “life rewards,” you’re teaching your dog that keeping you happy by complying with your requests is the key to opening the door to everything good in his world – not just food treats! This also allows you to use food randomly – as a surprise – which is extremely exciting for dogs, and often motivates them to work even harder.Tricks of the Trade Treat Tips

• Use soft treats and make them small – about the size of a pea. Small, soft treats can be eaten quickly, which aids in your timing as a trainer. Using small treats allows you to be generous without over-feeding your dog. Dogs don’t care how big each cookie is; they’re more impressed by how many they get.

• Try different types of treats. A dog treat doesn’t have to be labeled as such on the package. Bits of cooked meats, cheese, hotdogs, pasta, dry cereal and even fruits and vegetables can be rewarding to dogs. Experiment to discover what really excites him.

• Remember that what’s exciting at home may fail in comparison to the distracting sights and smells out in public. Save your “extra special’ treats for training in distracting environments.

• Get into the habit of petting your dog as you deliver the treat. Don’t simply be a Pez dispenser. When you consistently pair petting with treats, you raise the value of your touch. Now you have another way to pay your dog: petting!

• If your dog has dietary restrictions and cannot tolerate many foods besides his kibble, you can use kibble for his training. To make it seem more interesting, put some in a baggie with a few chunks of cut up hot dog. The kibble will take on the hot dog smell.

• Don’t over do it! The goal is to achieve a trained dog – not a trained, yet pudgy pupdog! Consider cutting back a bit on what goes into your dog’s food bowl and/or set aside a portion of his kibble and use that for training.  (End of article reference)

 I hope you enjoyed this post. All of us who love our pets go to huge efforts to show them love and they pay us back ten fold.

DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:

Matthew 25:21          

TODAY THE WORDS are Y’ALL COME. In the south where we live, born and raised, it is common to hear the expression “Y’all come” and southern hospitality is known to be the best. Today, I had a thought, even though we say that, we are actually hoping, “Y’all come but not all at one time“. Our Mother loved attention and for people to come to see her, but she liked it when they spaced the visits out and crowds seem to make her a little nervous. I think back to all of us going out to my Grandparents on Daddy’s side. Most of his siblings and their children went there for Sunday dinner. I never see tables as long as the one we ate, and they had two of them side by side. 

One thing I remember is the adults ate first and the children last, which is the exact opposite from today. I have not figured out which way is the best way due to a couple of thoughts. 1) if the children are fed first, they don’t seem as restless but 2) it was looked as a form of respect and lesson that sometimes in life you have to wait to get what you want. I see both sides of this coin so I don’t make a call on how I feel about this change of tradition. 

I reflect back on how much work it was for Granny Lott who cooked and served it all. It had to be so tiring for her but I remember her hugs. She didn’t say “I love you” but somehow I always felt love from her. I was telling the story yesterday of how she made “cat head” biscuits and made her own white sugar syrup. She would poke a hole in one of those biscuits and fill it with syrup and give it to me. She would tell me to go in the yard and eat it. That was her way of spoiling me, I think. That memory stays with me for all time. We were so busy having such a good time of playing with our cousins, and the adults were so busy telling their tales, and no one seemed to notice how much Granny worked. I now wonder when I have a lot of company and I know fully well how much work it is, did Granny ever think, “Y’all come but not all at one time”. Reminiscing those times has helped me be more considerate of others’ times and energy. If we do unto others as we would like for others to do unto us, this world would be a little easier for everyone. God wants us to practice The Golden Rule as it takes into a lot of His Teachings. Be kind, not blind to the needs of others.

By Susan M. Thigpen © 1999 Old Fashioned Cat Head Biscuits 

ARE WE ORDERING SCRAMBLED BRAINS INSTEAD OF EGGS? This is not a political statement as I firmly believe in our right to choose and cast our vote for the candidate we feel is the best person for the office they seek. Majority rules and we move on. My thoughts are what I am witnessing in the human race. Most people are vocal in politics and religion but what is going on is not making sense to me. Maybe it does to you but I want to put some thoughts out there for all of us to mull over and see what we come up as what is going on in this world. We have lost one of the most important assets….Civility……and we could be returning to a barbaric world. I expect to see a caveman jump out with a club and bang people over the head. What happened?

1) When is standing up for one’s belief make them less than another? One of the rights we cherish is the freedoms so many of our young people have fought and died for and this is one right everyone should fight for. It should not matter we may not agree with another’s beliefs but we can agree to disagree.

2) In an effort to stop bullying, I fear many have become bullies themselves. Bullying is never the right path, but too much political correctness or protection gives leave way to “thin skin”. Back in the day, most all of us have had someone say things which were hurtful and we learned to stand up for ourselves. As a mere human, I cannot save everyone from every problem they may have but I can do what I can to not cause more problems for anyone else. 

3) When did everyone want to have some kind of “victim status”? All it takes for me to feel I have no reason to complain is to see a photo of someone who has no legs or arms; someone who cannot speak or hear; someone burned and who will suffer pain for the rest of their lives; or someone destitute without a penny to their name; or a child with nothing to eat. And we have what problems? Let’s stop the self-pity party and count our blessings.

4) When did being a supporter of any candidate, a member of a religion, a certain race or ethnic group make any of us any less in anyone’s eyes? Uniqueness is a symbol of who we are and greatness comes from our internal character in any size, color, belief, and individualism so we should stop categorizing any person. If a person can rise and do great things, give each one the credit for what they accomplish and be proud of their courage and strength.

5) When did we lose the common courtesy which should be extended to each other? A simple thank you is appreciated but have you noticed it is disappearing from a lot of people’s vocabulary but the same person thinks nothing of spouting out criticism and rude comments. There should be a revival of respect to each other; our law enforcement; our teachers; our leaders. I can assure you I appreciate all people who choose to protect or teach us. It is not an easy job for sure.

Arline’s Note: Life is short and we can choose how we spend it. Why not scramble eggs and not our brains? As an observer of life and a positive participant. Life is what you put into it determines what you get out of it. Not too long ago, I had the opportunity to reminisce when the soles of my shoes came unglued and were flapping when I walked to school. I had to slide down the street to keep them from making a noise. Sounds like I was deprived or a victim? Absolutely not! That was life then as I lived it. I not only survived; I learned I wanted to have a decent pair of shoes and to get them I had to work hard and smart. I don’t regret one flap of those shoes; I am blessed to have many pairs of shoes because of them. Don’t play the victim; don’t make a victim out of someone else; and Be Kind to Each Other and Be Respectful! 

TODAY THE WORDS are GOD TOOK TIME WITH BUTTERFLIES.  A dear friend of mine loves butterflies and she posts pictures of butterflies almost every day on Facebook. I see them, I think they are beautiful but until this morning when she posted a composite which I have displayed on this page, I didn’t have the inspiration before. I looked at this picture longer than usual and with a lot more depth visually and then the spiritual connection became evident.  (This dear friend passed away and it seemed to fit this theme as she has transformed into her eternal body).

Let’s look at the life of a butterfly and I think you will realize (you may already know) why God took extra time in creating so many varieties, so many sizes, so many colors, and so much beauty. In the beginning of life, after the egg stage which is attached to the leaf, the caterpillar stage begins. The caterpillar (or larva) is the long, worm-like stage of the butterfly or moth. It often has an interesting pattern of stripes or patches, and it may have spine-like hairs. It is the feeding and growth stage. As it grows, it sheds its skin four or more times so as to enclose its rapidly growing body.

TODAY THE WORDS are WHEN MOTHERS LEAVE US. Tomorrow would be our Mother’s  92nd birthday, but we will not have a party. Some days it is so real and some days I feel it is a dream and we will wake up and see her in her yards since her yards were her pride and joy. Well, that is beside her children and family and a boatload of friends and neighbors. This year we will not visit the place set aside for the family’s grave and put fresh flowers on her grave as well as our Daddy’s and both of our brothers’ graves. We will make sure the plot is free and clear from any foreign items. While I was thinking about not making this visit this birthday; this message’s post came to me and I would like to share it with all of you who still have your Mother and it applies to Dads as well but I will direct this to Mother.

When we are conceived, we experience our Mother’s warmth and touch while we are in the womb so there is a bond which is like no other bond. Our minds may not know how much pain and sacrifice our Mothers experience during our birth, but somehow our hearts begin to realize it as we grow. Each step of our lives are usually originated from our parents and most of our first cuddling and care comes from the seemingly endless nights we try to test their love to see how long she can go without sleep. Hopefully, the Daddy steps up as they should and help out; but even if they don’t a Mother will see her child is taken care of if it is entirely up to her. We are fed; we are bathed; we are dressed; we are prepared for sleep. We are carried around until we walk. If we cry, it is usually the Mother who jumps up to see if we are hurt or what is wrong. This continues on even after we are grown. I remember my Mother concerned about this or asking about that; even when I had a grown child of my own. When someone said “A Mother’s love never ends” I believe it fully. When Mother had only a couple of months of living left and I went to spend the weekends with her; her concern was I going to be safe on my trip there or my trip home. It amazes me the strength of a good Mother’s love. 

Then there was the day, right after a brand new year started…..Mother left this earth. She left for a brand new mansion she so deserved with no wants or needs and especially no more pain. There are no more visits or as I like to say “My Spend the Night Party with My Mom” when we would laugh and I would make special trips for whatever she wanted to eat just to see her special smile. I would walk those yards willingly so she could show me each and every bloom. I would gladly listen to the same story over and over just to hear her voice. I know my Sister feels the same way. My message to any of you who are blessed to have your Mother with you….never let a day go by without doing everything you can to be with your Mom; talk to her; laugh or even cry with her; do whatever you can for her because one day Your Mother will leave too. You will then realize the importance of this message. Live life; love life; and live life to the fullest by cherishing the Mother God blessed you to be a child of hers and God has blessed us to be His Children.

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY TO OUR MOST PRECIOUS MOTHER! We will forever love you and we will celebrate every day with you when we meet again. I am posting this today as tomorrow may be an emotional day and I wanted to do this post justice.