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Month: December 2016

IN A TWINKLING OF YOUR EYE

 

IN A TWINKLING OF YOUR EYE, your entire life can change is the subject of my blog today. A friend of mine who is familiar with my inspirational blog shared an interesting story today and it touched me. This made me think of how many times in my life have I been privy to stories from a lot of people of events which changed a certain person for life. The blog serves as a sounding board for all of us how quickly our lives, our jobs, our health, and unfortunately our relationships. Here is the blog message from this inspiration.

My first story: A woman in her late 60’s who had some health issues but nothing outwardly visible uses the services of a lady to run errands, accompany on doctor’s appointments and to buy groceries. This kind lady, even though she has been paid for her time, cares enough for this lady treats her more like a mother rather than a caretaker. This has been going on for several years and it is a mutually respected friendship as well as financial arrangement. The care giver who I will call Linda for the sake of the story and and Ann for the lady who needs some help are my characters for this story. Linda had seen Ann only two days prior to the events which are life changing and Ann showed no symptoms of any discomfort and seemed in fair health. Linda tried to call Ann to see if she needed any assistance before she got very busy with the holiday festivities. Since Ann doesn’t drive, Linda was shocked for her not answering the phone. Ann’s sister lives with her but her sister still works. When Linda was trying to reach Ann, she finally got in touch with the sister who told her Ann was in the hospital. To make a long story short, Linda was shocked when she was told not to be shocked how Ann looked since she had just seen her and she looked fine. When Linda got to the hospital, the nurses were in the room with Ann and she couldn’t get a look see since the nurse was blocking her view. Once the nurse asked were there any more questions or if she could do anything else, she moved out of the way and Linda could see Ann. She almost gasped at the paleness and the inability to move her hands and some other body parts. It didn’t even look like her friend who she is so close with and sees on a regular basis. Life had changed for Ann in a twinkling of her eye.
Another story: A young man who had recently married his wife driving home in their jeep for Christmas for the holiday break and not far from their destination was slammed by a woman in a hurry running the stop sign. Touch and go for the young man who I will call John. Family came in and the news was not encouraging and for days they were not sure he would live. By God’s grace, he lived but had a spine injury which left him paralyzed. In the twinkling of his eye, his life changed dramatically and so did all of his family. I use his story for a good purpose. He has a smile on his face every time anyone comes in his eyeshot. He has not stopped living and through determination he lives on and is expanding his family.
Personal Story from 2011: This morning I want to share something personal and I am praying that it reaches some soul. Last year at this time, my sister and I knew that Momma was soon to leave this world. I planned on spending the weekend at the nursing home with Momma and chose to go the day after the New Year to avoid traffic. As I was packing on the morning of the 2nd, I had gotten a call that Momma was close to death. I was hurrying, doing everything I could to get to her and then the call from Juanelle came in that Momma had passed. I say this not to call for sympathy as I know where Momma is today, but I say it to anyone who has put off, procrastinated, forgotten someone they love, or let other things get in the way of going to see a loved one. I didn’t know the last time I hugged my Mother, told her how much I loved her and that it was okay as she was ready to go to Jesus, it was okay to go that it would be the last time, until eternity starts for me, that I would look into her precious face and kiss her. Never put off what you need to do today as tomorrow may not offer another opportunity. I don’t have guilt as I was there every chance I could be, but I know that every minute that I shared with her was worth a million more reasons of doing something else. If you have a loved one that needs to see your face or if there is someone in a home, their home, or at a hospital and it would mean the world to them to see your face, by all means, please get up and go!

One last story for all of us to realize: Too many people are talking to others and their lives end in the twinkling of an eye. Too many people put themselves in harms way without any intention that innocent as they are; someone else takes their lives needlessly. Too many people are drawing their last breath but are unaware that it is their last one and in a twinkling of an eye, they depart this earth.
Not all stories end tragically; not all lives end unexpectedly but all lives do end at some point in time and that is the purpose of this blog. I am not selling gloom and doom but getting real. Live Life; Love Life; and Live Life to the fullest by understanding every moment of every day is important so don’t take Life Lightly and appreciate each loving moment you share with your loved ones as it might be the last moment you share with this loved one.
 

 

Featured Bible Verse:
 
1 Corinthians 15:52  King James Version

52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed

(C) Copyright 2012-2016 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material sourced to original location for reference credit.

PARENTS BEWARE

Even Luna, the sweetest dog child of my daughter Missy Haas has to be trained.



TODAY THE WORDS are PARENTS BEWARE.  Normally, as I place my fingers on the keyboard, I don’t have a clue as to the subject but this morning is different as a sensitive subject has presented itself and I feel deeply this should be the topic this morning. Hopefully, if there are young parents reading this, it can be beneficial to all parents. I am borrowing a post from a friend from FB and I thought her words were so heartfelt and could be instrumental for parents. I know she would not mind me using her words and then we will go to the deeper thought. Here is her post:

                

 As a parent, it is your job to empower your children by placing responsibilities and expectations. To just hand them everything they need and/or want is actually doing them more harm. As parents we love our kids and never want to say no or see them do without so we tend to just give in. If our children never learn how to be responsible they will never be responsible adults. They will think that i…t is everyone else’s responsibility to provide for them. They will always blame others no matter how wrong they may be. They will never be responsible enough to hold a steady, dependable job. So think long and hard about what type of adult you want your child to be. Let them learn that if you want something bad enough, you have to work for it. Teach them they are responsible for their actions and that every action has a consequence, some good, some bad. Nothing in life is free but air. Jesus even expected the widows to gleam fields for what they need…are any of children better than the expectations of Christ? Written by Sonya Bivins Lott

Now for the deeper thought…..Parents beware of loving your children into a failure. Encouragement and love have to accompanied with responsibility and love as Sonya so perfectly stated. Take a minute and slow down and do not be afraid of losing your children. My parents disciplined me and even though they are gone now from this earth, I love and miss them every day, but importantly, I respected them. They taught me to work; they taught me to be respectful; they taught me to respect others’ things; they taught me to respect the law; they taught me love; they taught me duty; and most importantly they taught me to be the best I could be. Were they perfect parents? The world might say no as they told me no plenty of times…..do I think they were perfect parents for me? YES!

How can I improve my parenting skills?

If you want to be the best parent you can be, try improving your parenting skills by doing the following:

  • Listen to your child. Listen to what your child or children have to say. …
  • Show good judgment. …
  • Be a role model. …
  • Stick to your rules. …
  • Keep control. …
  • Show love and affection. …
  • Spend quality time with your child.

 DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:

1 John 3:7-8

Little children, let no one lead you astray. He who does righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. To this end the Son of God was revealed, that he might destroy the works of the devil.


(c) copyright 2012-2016 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material sourced to original location for reference credit.

DREAM ALERTS



TODAY THE WORDS are DREAM ALERTS. Most of us, if not all of us, have at one time or another, been awakened from a dream and we open our eyes wide open and think, “What was the meaning of this dream?” Right? We find ourselves in old homes, barns, buildings filled with items we have never seen before or which we can’t remember seeing before and it confuses us with its contents. We climb up stairs which are rickety and almost impossible to climb. We slide our cars or our bodies in mucky mud and find ourselves trapped and sweating to find an escape from this horrible event or at least wake up.  There are people who proclaim to interpret dreams; I am not sure they get it right, but who is to know for sure the meaning of dreams. People have said they dreamed of winning the lottery, invented the perfect gadget, became famous; or on the other hand, dreamed of dying, losing everything, or found themselves lost or hurt. Dreams may be a sign or they may be only dreams.

Dreams…are not meaningless…they are a completely valid psychological phenomenon, the fulfillment of wishes… constructed through highly complicated  intellectual activity. 
– Psychoanalyst, Sigmund Freud



Here are my thoughts on dreams….Dreams, especially recurring dreams, may be alerts as our subconscious minds produce dreams during the REM when our minds are more alert and we experience rapid eye movement (almost as if we are awake in our minds, but our bodies are asleep.)

This has led me to believe dreams do come from our thoughts; these thoughts may have been from experiences we have logged into our memories or we have viewed by reading, viewing, and watching events. When we dream, our mind rearranges these memories into a “video” some of which are real and some of which come from the outside influences. When we have a dream which is alarming; it may awake some fear we have imbedded into our minds, consciously or subconsciously. If we can remember our dreams and think if this was actually reality; how would I react? During the biblical times, Men of God were given dreams as future prophesy. What is to say, God is relaying messages or “alarms” in our quiet time and it might be beneficial for us to encourage thoughts which come from the night’s videos playing in our heads. Look how powerful the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. when he said, “I have a dream” and maybe, just maybe, he had been given that dream in his sleep.

 

 

Quick Ways to Remember Your Dreams:

Remembering your dreams is the first step. The second step is trying to remember and record your dreams. To fully gain insight to your dreams, you must remember that dream interpretation is similar to riding a bike for the first time, or learning a new language. Starting this new exploration into to the mind requires little work, because here at Dream Dictionary, we’ve put together 5000 words and symbols for the dreamers needs. If you are the person who forgets your dreams when you wake up, then you have to follow a couple of steps to get started. The first step is to make sure you don’t rush out of bed when you get up from your sleep. The very moment you wake up you must take your time and think what events happened in your dream. You must put down every single detail even if you don’t find it relevant. The second step is to have a dream journal by your bed and write down what symbols you remember. The third step is recall your dreams in a backward sequence. Basically, start from the last event or feeling that you remember, and then go as far back as you can possibly remember. You must keep the last thought sort of like taking a picture. Also, this takes time and practice, and can be quite frustrating at times. Once you become good, you will be able to strengthen your dream memory, and later on, it will become as easy as breathing. 

To see this article in DreamDictionary.org 

http://www.dreamdictionary.org/dreaming/meaning-of-dreams/

DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:

Acts 2:17 ESV / 82 helpful votes 
“‘And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams;

(c) copyright 2012-2016 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.

I DON’T NEED MY PRESENTS WRAPPED

TODAY THE WORDS are I DON’T NEED MY PRESENTS WRAPPED. Sometimes, the topic for the blog comes out of nowhere but this one came about when Greg and I were discussing we had the presents wrapped or in gift bags as we always do. It is an inside family joke for everyone to save their bags as they will see them again next year. This got me to thinking because my most precious gifts I have ever received don’t need wrapping as I can see them clearly.I thought I would share my “favorite” things with all of you.
1) My daughter who came into my life and changed it forever for the better. She is such a joy for me to be called her Mom. Each call, each visit, each card, and each hug is so precious to me. No diamond on this earth can compare with her brilliance. I would not want her beauty to be hid under some wrapping paper as I love to see her beautiful blue eyes and her million dollar smile and nothing can compare with the “I love you bunches” from her on a text.
2) Even though my wonderful husband came later in my life; he has made up for lost time and made a woman who wondered if true love existed a true believer. We laugh, we cry together, we tease each other, and we can take whatever life throws at us because we know we will get through it together. He had me at hello; I never want to say goodbye. He is the head of our household and what I appreciate is he wants my input. Oh, he will argue and say I run the ship but he knows how much I value his “take charge” attitude. He didn’t ride in on a white horse but he certainly fits my Prince Charming and I know him; he would never agree to hide in a box so I love his strength; I love his caring self; and I love he will go to anyone’s rescue.
3) My sister is so precious to me. She is my link to our family which has shrunk. She is my link to my childhood. She is my friend and she is so beautiful to me. Now, I could see her letting me string her up with ribbons so we could laugh together but I had rather just stick a bow on her head and giggle together but I would want to see her face. Her family is my family. Her husband is my “brother” instead of an in-law. Her children have always been more to me than niece and nephew. No, I want her out where I can see her and say to her how much I love her and her family.

4) My extended family, and I say kidding, have been extending into a great family. I have been blessed to add two sons to my list of children and I know I am their step mom and they have a good mom but they seem like mine in so many ways. Both of the sons have given us six wonderful grandsons and now Cory and Teddie have added our first granddaughter and let me assure you; they would never stay still long enough to wrap them. Each one of them bring us so much joy and individuality. Both sons are blessed to have loving young ladies by their side and all in all, it may be a little rowdy when we get together but I wouldn’t want it any other way. My extended family has added a sister Berta and brother Gordon with his precious wife Martha who I have grown to love them as they are now my family. Family is so important and my immediate family has shrunk but God favored me and made my family larger in so many ways and I thank Him.

5) My relatives and friends are too plentiful to fit in any container except my heart. I love all of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and some who may not be blood relatives but have come to be dear to me. I have been blessed to re-connect with so many classmates and friends from years ago. I feel they are like added ornaments to our family tree and fill in the missing spaces.
6) Our little pet,  Buster, who shows us unconditional love and mischief. He provides us with stories and adventures to talk about without judging us. I might want to put Buster in a box to keep him out of trouble but I couldn’t do without him. We also share fond memories of pets we were also blessed to have for a while, Bandit and Whiskers who left their paw prints on our hearts are truly missed.
Buster and Bandit (two love bugs)


The one and only Whiskers at Halloween

Now for the deeper thought…..When I think about my precious gifts, I have to be thankful with all of my heart for the Giver of All Gifts and Blessings……Our God; Our Creator; Our Higher Power; and The One who Gave Us the reason we celebrate Christmas as He loved Us So Much He Gave His Only Begotten Son so we can live. No gift is more precious than His Christmas Gift to Us.

DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:

James 1:17 ESV 

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
 

(c) copyright 2012-2016 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material is sourced to the original location for reference credit.

CHILDREN SLEEP WHILE SUGAR CANDY CANES DANCE IN THEIR HEADS

CHILDREN SLEEP WHILE SUGAR CANDY CANES DANCE IN THEIR HEADS. We live in a world where a lot of children never know what the word no means. I am writing this post in hopes some people will read it and witness positive ways to bring children into reality and hopefully dispel some of the fantasy of giving anything to children anytime they say they want it.
At first, when our son (my stepson but he is like mine) and his beautiful wife started having a lot of children, we were shocked. Of course we worried like all grandparents do….Will they be able to take care of them?…..Will they be able to take the time with each one?……Will they be able to get good education…..and on and on. Old dogs can learn new tricks and both of us, Granddaddy and Nana have observed one of the best parenting teams we have ever seen.
A Previous Year with the Candy Canes
To emphasize a little of how it works, allow me to share how they take a “Nana gonna spoil them” event and change it into a tradition and a learning to reward good actions. We had bought candy canes at Christmas and put them into a ceramic house (see photo) and the boys immediately spotted the candy canes. While Nana was ready to give them out to each one, Cory spoke up and said, “Nana can send the candy canes home with us and when you do something really good, you will get one as a reward.” I was expecting some rebuttal from our grands but they were pleased to have a goal and I could almost see Nolan calculating just how good he was going to be to get the most. There was no more discussion until I was packing up some of the leftovers and the boys wanted to know if I had packed their Candy Canes. This was about 3 Christmases ago and each year they walk into Nana’s kitchen and look for their Candy Canes. I wrote a poem about this tradition and you bet Nana has their candy canes ready for them.

Here are the boys with Mason on the way!

My daughter Missy with most of the boys. What a lot of love for Aunt Missy
Here is Myles the youngest grandson with our first granddaughter.

Candy Canes with Loving Care
The candy canes are hung with loving care
In hopes the grandchildren will see them there.
It is a tradition for the canes to accompany them.
For a reward, they can earn; not eat on a whim.
Each year as the boys come into the room,
It seems as if their bright eyes begin to zoom.
Nana, are those our candy canes?
Yes, boys, your excitement never wanes.
They are to be earned for your good deeds
Not to be gobbled whenever you please.
Your parents will keep them nice and safe.
So be good boys and don’t hesitate.
To say I love you, thank you, and please.
Be nice to each other; kindly play not tease.
We have lots of candy canes so release
All your goodness and enjoy your sweets.
For our grands who love the candy canes and all our
Love……Nana and Granddaddy 2016

Written by Arline Miller

Now for the deeper thought……Sometimes we forget as we get older the most precious moments and special gifts are those gifts we work toward and feel a great accomplishment when we achieve. It is not the monetary value; it is the love behind the gift. I have witnessed so much love and sharing between our 5 grandsons and now they have their sister who each one of them take the time to hug or touch Mason when they pass by. She is special to them and I know they will teach her the Candy Cane Rewards that Nana will send home with them as she grows older. Maybe it might be fun to try this little game with your grandchildren and watch how they respond. Have a Merry Christmas or Holiday Season with the little ones! CHRISTMAS is the birthday of Jesus Christ who is the reason for the season.
BIBLE FEATURED VERSE:
Luke 2:1-20New International Version (NIV)

The Birth of Jesus
2 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

(c) Copyright 2012-2016 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.

TODAY THE WORDS are A CHRISTMAS WISH



TODAY THE WORDS are A CHRISTMAS WISH. In our world we have many more opportunities to receive at Christmas. From parties at work, church, friends, and families, we are constantly exchanging presents and dinners. This year I want to present a Christmas wish for all of us to consider. 

If we wish for a Christmas filled with Christ’s love and the wonder of His Birth, we would be so blessed to receive a big present, as a matter of fact, universal sized filled with unconditional love; absolute forgiveness, acceptance of others, charity beyond comprehension, and integrity with built in honesty, more and more goodwill. I have been looking at everyone’s decorations and working on our home and it is evident, we get excited about the spirit of Christmas Children are taken to see Santa and to have their pictures taken in their little Christmas red or green outfits and are truly adorable. 

Everyone, relax as I am not criticizing Christmas traditions and I love the excitement in the children’s eyes as much as the next one. This is not what this wish is about. The wish is for us to recognize nothing “Santa” can bring compares to what Christ has already given to each one, the children, the young adults, the middle aged, and the older people too. He gave us the ultimate gift of love. I wrote on Facebook and I wanted to repeat “It will not be the presents we give our children and grandchildren they remember when we are gone; it is the love, the hugs, and the stories we share which will live on in their hearts.” This is also what Christ gave us by His Unconditional Love. There are days, and it is most of them, I feel so unworthy and  I wonder why God loved us so much and sent His Only Begotten Son to take human form and sacrifice himself for us to have an eternal celebration, the likes no earthly celebration or party can compare. When a child receives a present, his or her eyes light up with a radiant glow and smiles follow. As “children” of God, we have a gift of eternal life waiting to be unwrapped. Some of us have experienced unwrapping this present and it was so radiantly brilliant, the glow was almost blinding. It entered our souls and we are forever changed. Some, however, have looked at this present, thought it was so pretty, but they keep wondering if “it will fit” and “will it be comfortable” and “will they have to throw away the old life” and so many other obstacles. I say as one who asked those questions years ago, “Unwrap the Love of Jesus” on His Birthday and you will receive the best present you have ever received. That is my Christmas wish for all who need love in their lives, help with life’s problems, a home in Heaven, and peace and joy!


DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:
1 John 5:11

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

(c) copyright 2012-2016 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.

BROKEN ORNAMENTS ARE LIKE BROKEN LIVES



TODAY THE WORDS are BROKEN ORNAMENTS.  On this morning, my mind went to a place of remembrance of how it feels to lose something or as you will see “someone”. A lot of times in my writing, in order to put feelings in simpler terms, I use what I can replacement memories. If it is something we can relate to everyday or normal events, it is somehow easier to get a point across to others or at least it can make common sense. Most of us have our Christmas trees, or if not, we have occasions which have ornaments or displays which have a value to them and to us when we show them to the world. As a Christian, we have the decorated Christmas tree to celebrate Christmas season. For most of us, we start early collecting the ornaments, and even though the monetary worth is usually low; the emotional worth can be priceless. We unwrap them very carefully and hang them and a lot of Wow, Ooh, and Aah’s are heard as the ornaments are hung. Some have their “spots” to be hung; some even are hung in order. We add new ones each year but it is the older ones we cherish more and are so protective. My thoughts bring me to a sad thought of opening a box of ornaments, however carefully wrapped and cared for, finding one broken or even more than one and it is devastating. It doesn’t matter how many other wonderful, shiny ornaments we have; it is the loss of this one which takes our heart and crushes it. Even though the tree will still be beautiful, we know one of the best ornaments is no longer going to hang around and allow us to look at it and recall the years it has been around.  This photo occurred a few days ago and it was so ironic that it would be this ornament that I had bought when my daughter’s cat became intrigued by the ornaments on the tree and decided to knock them off and push them down the stairs. After all of these years, about 20 that I have had that funny ornament, it came apart while hanging it and broke.

I see the same thing in life and now for the thought given to my heart…..Life is like the Christmas tree. We start life with a tree with some ornaments and we begin to add ornaments such as family and friends. Our tree begins with few and usually ends up with many lovely additions or “ornaments”. We, as loving people, take care of our “ornaments” by taking care of our siblings, starting our own families, and making sure our parents (the oldest ornaments and highly cherished) are cared for by wrapping them with love and care. Once in a while, one of the newer ornaments fall suddenly, without warning and are broken beyond repair and it is a tragedy. Some of the ornaments age and have to be cared for and repaired. They become fragile and we handle them carefully. When they finally break, and we can no longer have them on our tree; we feel their absence; we gaze at the tree and remember the missing ornaments while enjoying the new ornaments such as grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and new friends. It is impossible to tell when an ornament is going to break; all we can do is carefully wrap and enjoy each breathtaking moment we can share with them while we have them to enjoy. Live life; love life; and live life to the fullest by cherishing each wonderful moment and when you have a chance to say I Love You; Say It!


DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:

John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-death/#ixzz2nAKNij9E


(c) copyright 2012-2016 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.


DO WE CUT THE STRING OF LIFE TOO SHORT?



DO WE CUT THE STRING OF LIFE TOO SHORT? This morning I found myself thinking about how we may cut ourselves short (or in non southern terms, underestimate our abilities) and the times in my younger years when I sewed, I would occasionally cut the thread too short and would have to thread the needle for another length of thread to finish the job. It made me think of other phases of our lives we fail to go for the extra mile or second burst of strength.
One of the factors I began this thought process was a story on Facebook about Emma, a graphic designer who has Parkinson’s Disease. Through the heartache of experiencing tremors, this prevented Emma from drawing a straight line. From a challenge presented to a scientist, Emma could wear a watch which distracts her from the fact she is experiencing a tremor and a straight line is drawn. You can watch this amazing video on this link. It is the basis of this train of thought on the blog:
Parkinson’s disease meant she couldn’t draw, but a new invention has changed Emma’s life.
Watch more of Emma’s story http://bbc.in/2hk2dY5

I have witnessed so many people who have so many talents and abilities toss them aside by distraction. When Emma concentrated on the tremors she experiences from Parkinson’s it keeps her from actually performing the abilities she still has in her mind. The watch helps her override this inability to do what should come naturally. When she realizes this ability is still present for her; she is delighted and rightfully so. This is such a beautiful realization and it brings me to the focal point of my blog post.
All of us are subject to some form of temporary paralysis of thought or emotions. The presence of emotional and/or physical trauma can cause depletion of activation of loving thoughts or actions. We allow the “tremors of life” to paralyze our abilities and talents. It is a natural reaction as it hurts tremendously to have someone disappoint us. Whether it be in personal or work related, it hurts and then hurts some more. It can be from the loss of a loved one; loss of a job; loss of a relationship; etc. The tremor of the constant hurt keeps us from our usual adaptation of talents and we stop performing  the wonderful gifts we have been given. Grief doesn’t have to come from the death of a loved one  only as loss of a loved one through break up and/or divorce is what I call the “living death.”
What I suggest, is the development of an imaginary watch which distract the “tremors of hurt”. This can be accomplished by:
This is an excerpt from Dr. Phil’s book and I will include the link for reference: 
“You can love, lose and survive. You can fall to your knees and cry in pain. You can feel a horrible, crippling emptiness, yet recover and fill yourself up again. We all seem to survive it.” – Dr. Phil 
In his book, Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life, Dr. Phil suggests following these steps to get through your difficult time.
1. Be Patient With Yourself
Give yourself time to accept what has happened. There is no schedule for when you should feel certain emotions, or be over others. Choose to stand up for you and the rest of your life, and choose to move on. You don’t have to figure out how you’re going to get through the rest of your life. Just focus on staying in the game and moving forward now. It is normal to cry and be depressed, but you need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. You have to continue carrying on with your life, because going MIA from your routine and support from friends and family will only magnify the grief you feel. Regardless of the specific loss you are going through, expect that the day will come that you will begin to see hope again. You can survive. You do have the strength to get through this.
2. Adjust Your Expectations
Accept that your emotions are a natural part of the grieving process. Experiencing death, divorce or other loss that makes you feel rejected and alone isn’t a life sentence of grief. You will emerge. But don’t put generic expectations on yourself and don’t let others do so either. You will feel an array of emotions. Remember that grief from any loss is not a linear process. You will begin to move on in your own time; just be sure to move forward before you totally lose your way.
3. Accept What You Cannot Change
One of the most frequent struggles you may face when you lose someone is a sense of being out of control because you are not able to control when someone leaves you. Even though we can’t even almost have that control, we are not victims — or at least we don’t have to be. There is a point in this process where you can and must choose to take a stand for how you are going to react to this hard hit. You must actively, consciously choose to focus on what you can change, and accept what you can’t change. This means mentally, emotionally and spiritually accepting the reality of your loss and letting go of a past that you cannot bring back.
What To To Expect After Losing A Loved One
4. Find Strength In Others
Although it may feel like you’re all alone in your experience, try talking to someone who has experienced a similar loss or someone whose presence is a source of comfort. Sometimes, a compassionate person may be a great help, even though they have not been through a similar loss. The very fact that they haven’t been down that road may bring some much-needed objectivity to your dark hour.
5. Don’t Get Stuck
It’s easy to get stuck in this negative experience and all the emotions of it, so you need to work to prevent getting stuck in anger or bitterness. Do what you need to do to help you get unstuck. This can be different for everyone. You may find help in taking up a new hobby, getting counseling or talking to your doctor about treatment options like antidepressants. Grief may cause you to be biochemically unbalanced, and medication may be the short-term jump-start that you need to move forward. Another way to move forward is to focus on all the reasons you need to return to being the person you were before the loss. Beware: if you’ve had an addiction in the past, make sure you don’t turn to that narcotic as a source of soothing.
6. Recognize That Time Is Infinite
There’s wisdom in that old saying about living every day as though it were your last. That doesn’t mean you should go out and be reckless, but rather recognize that the unexpected can happen to you. Nurture the relationships with the ones you love. You have to see time as a currency that you need to spend now, not wait for a day that may never come. You are not here forever, and neither is anybody you love.
7. Create Value From This Experience
Take the time to ask yourself what you’ve learned from going through this experience. There is value in all experiences; it just may take a closer look or a little time to see what it is.
8. Think About How You Will Prepare for Your Own Death
It is hard to have a family discussion about death, but it is a necessity. Be sure to have the talk with other family members when it is a calm time. Prepare financially for your exit from this world, and prepare your children for life when you’re gone. For example, you can make videos for your kids, sharing your advice about life, and what your hopes and dreams are for them.
9. Celebrate Life
It’s a tragic injustice if all you do is focus on the day you lost your loved one, or their illness, accident or death. Not only is it painful, it doesn’t help you heal or move on. You can and need to mourn their passing, but don’t do that to the exclusion of celebrating their life. Remember, life doesn’t stop just because that person is not alive. Ask yourself if your loved one would really want you to stop your life because they’re no longer alive. The past is over, and the future hasn’t happened yet. Adopt an attitude that says, “The only time is now: I need to live in the moment.”
Adapted from Dr. Phil’s book Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life.

DAILY FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV 

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No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2016 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location for credit reference.

SPOILED BRATS OR VICTIMS?

SPOILED BRATS or VICTIMS? I will let you decide after you read my post this morning. I have watched over the last couple of months and it is hard to hear the ludicracy of the millennials and even some of the generation X and I have to say it sounds like whining and woe is me.

I want to recount a story which I can’t imagine any child today dealing with this dilemma. I don’t tell it because I resent having to go through it but it would make any child cringe at this thought. No toughness, no ingenuity, no acceptance of difficulty and willingness to survive it without someone else taking care of the problem is the trend today and I feel it is destructing our youth. Here is how the story goes:
As a child, we had it fairly difficult making ends meet. It wasn’t because our parents didn’t try but it was hard to have new shoes when we needed them. Shoes were bought when there was no other options. Now, realize I thought about kids who didn’t have any shoes, new or old, so I felt blessed to have any shoes at all. The sole on one of my shoes had come loose and was hanging on and they flapped when I walked so I shuffled without picking that foot up. I was the laughing stock of my siblings and my friends but it was somehow funny. Oh well, this may have been the start of my thinking out of the box or becoming a problem solver. I am not sure but when I found one of those big rubber bands. You know those huge, heavy duty, rubber bands. I took one of those big rascals and wrapped it around the top of my shoe and guess what? It stopped that dad-burn flapping but it looked ridiculous. I finally got new shoes when my parents noticed the big rubber band so the story ends well.

Young people, life can be beautiful even when times are hard. I want to say this to each of you that this world can be better if you apply yourselves to volunteering and placing your voices where they are heard and not part of a screaming crowd. Surely, you don’t want to desecrate our nation’s flag, do you? Try going to another country where you will be killed for expressing your right of freedom of speech.  As I don’t believe there is anything free, remember plenty of people have died or been permanently disabled fighting for your right to voice your disagreements. What have you done to earn the right? It is not free so start applying your talents to something productive.

I will not apologize if this “hurts” your feelings. Whining is not the way except to irritate all of us who have worked hard and have sacrificed. When I see the young people who have done miraculous feats of service to those who don’t have anything, I want to be a better person, so how about you?

I posted the following on Facebook:

                                   We were a family and it wasn’t perfect but we had love to share.

(C) Copyright 2012-2016 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material used with original location sourced for reference credit.

WHY NOT ME? WHY ME?



WHY NOT ME? WHY ME? I had a curious thought after I have seen many posts on Social Media with some positive and some negative quotes about relationships. I have stopped viewing the pros and cons of our recent election. This controversy brought me to a collective question of Why not me and Why me? 
First, let’s discuss why not me question?
As someone who loves a lively discussion but hates an argument, I choose sometimes not to engage in some potentially discussions which might ignite an pointed argument. As much as we have a right to speak our mind in America, it can be as wise to not engage. As the bible gives us wise instruction of when it should be Not Me:
King James Bible  Titus 3:9

But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.

Here are some good steps to avoid arguments:

AVOIDING CONTROVERSIES, Chapter 19 http://bbll.com/index.html

A 1st century A.D. Roman philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, offered a maxim of five words, full of wisdom: “Walk around the briar patch.”  Think of the people you know who find it necessary, again and again, to charge through the briar patch, and who end up with shins full of thorns and stickers, and painful and delayed arrivals at the destination.  Or maybe, they never get to the destination at all. Avoid Controversy and Conflict with Mediation

There are a number of war cries which are shouted with emotion as people charge into the briar patch.  You have heard these and can think of many more:

“They can’t get away with that.”

“I’ll fix him.”

“Who does she think she is?”

It is strange that many people think it is somehow cowardly to go around the thorns.  A longer, safer, more peaceful and surer route can be followed with dignity, self-respect, and wisdom.  There are even some people who can skip around the briar patch, whistling.

One of the outstanding briar patches of life is that of arguments.  Most often, arguing causes the other person to become defensive and more convinced than ever about his or her opinion.  What can be done about it?  Here are some suggestions:

Disengage.  Agree with the opposition to stop the argument and let some time pass, which often brings about a modification of both positions.

Develop more facts. Established facts are difficult to argue about.

Appeal to the other person.  Ask for a modification or a change in position on his or her part because it means so much to you.  People are often responsive to an appeal whereas they resist if someone tries to argue them into it.  Try saying, “I want to make an appeal to you about something.”

Identify points of agreement.  Go from there.

Find a mediator.

If someone makes a statement with which you disagree, if you say nothing, sometimes it just disappears into oblivion.  Challenging it turns it into an ISSUE, and ISSUES tend to blossom.  On the other hand, if it is something you think is of sufficient importance to challenge, go to it.  Frequently, however, you might realize that there is no chance of changing some obstinate person’s point of view, and a heated discussion, or, indeed, an argument, can serve no purpose.


What great advice and definite what to do when it is “WHY NOT ME?“

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“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~Winston Churchill

Time to discuss when it should be “WHY ME?” One of the first components of a healthy debater and life participant is to have a positive attitude when addressing any discussion. If we are in a positive frame of mind, we are also open minded to listen. Being open minded gives a fair playing ground for all participants.

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I found an interesting article:
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Train Yourself to Be More Positive in 5 Steps by Dani DiPirro
http://tinybuddha.com/

About Dani DiPirro
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Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger, and designer living in a suburb of Washington, DC. In 2009, she launched the website PositivelyPresent.com with the intention of sharing her insights about living a positive and present life. Dani is the author of Stay Positive, The Positively Present Guide to Life, the Effortless Inspiration series, and a variety of e-books.

Step One: Believe a Positive Attitude is a Choice
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Step Two: Rid Your Life of Negativity
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Step Three: Look For the Positive in Life
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Step Four: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself
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Step Five: Share Positivity with Others

Please search this article and read the steps entirely. Great reading and advice. The more positive we become we can choose WHY ME?

Note from Arline Miller, author of Sipping Cups of Inspiration: I have lived my life in a positive light. I look for the good in people but in a realistic way. I want to insert a positive reaction to a negative action from others. LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; LIVE AND LOVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST BY ASKING WHY ME? AND WHY NOT ME?

(C) Copyright 2012-2016 Arline Miller with rights and privileges reserved. All third party material sourced to the original location for reference credit.

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