DO WE CUT THE STRING OF LIFE TOO SHORT? This morning I found myself thinking about how we may cut ourselves short (or in non southern terms, underestimate our abilities) and the times in my younger years when I sewed, I would occasionally cut the thread too short and would have to thread the needle for another length of thread to finish the job. It made me think of other phases of our lives we fail to go for the extra mile or second burst of strength.
One of the factors I began this thought process was a story on Facebook about Emma, a graphic designer who has Parkinson’s Disease. Through the heartache of experiencing tremors, this prevented Emma from drawing a straight line. From a challenge presented to a scientist, Emma could wear a watch which distracts her from the fact she is experiencing a tremor and a straight line is drawn. You can watch this amazing video on this link. It is the basis of this train of thought on the blog:
Parkinson’s disease meant she couldn’t draw, but a new invention has changed Emma’s life.
Watch more of Emma’s story http://bbc.in/2hk2dY5

I have witnessed so many people who have so many talents and abilities toss them aside by distraction. When Emma concentrated on the tremors she experiences from Parkinson’s it keeps her from actually performing the abilities she still has in her mind. The watch helps her override this inability to do what should come naturally. When she realizes this ability is still present for her; she is delighted and rightfully so. This is such a beautiful realization and it brings me to the focal point of my blog post.
All of us are subject to some form of temporary paralysis of thought or emotions. The presence of emotional and/or physical trauma can cause depletion of activation of loving thoughts or actions. We allow the “tremors of life” to paralyze our abilities and talents. It is a natural reaction as it hurts tremendously to have someone disappoint us. Whether it be in personal or work related, it hurts and then hurts some more. It can be from the loss of a loved one; loss of a job; loss of a relationship; etc. The tremor of the constant hurt keeps us from our usual adaptation of talents and we stop performing  the wonderful gifts we have been given. Grief doesn’t have to come from the death of a loved one  only as loss of a loved one through break up and/or divorce is what I call the “living death.”
What I suggest, is the development of an imaginary watch which distract the “tremors of hurt”. This can be accomplished by:
This is an excerpt from Dr. Phil’s book and I will include the link for reference: 
You can love, lose and survive. You can fall to your knees and cry in pain. You can feel a horrible, crippling emptiness, yet recover and fill yourself up again. We all seem to survive it.” – Dr. Phil 
In his book, Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life, Dr. Phil suggests following these steps to get through your difficult time.
1. Be Patient With Yourself
Give yourself time to accept what has happened. There is no schedule for when you should feel certain emotions, or be over others. Choose to stand up for you and the rest of your life, and choose to move on. You don’t have to figure out how you’re going to get through the rest of your life. Just focus on staying in the game and moving forward now. It is normal to cry and be depressed, but you need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. You have to continue carrying on with your life, because going MIA from your routine and support from friends and family will only magnify the grief you feel. Regardless of the specific loss you are going through, expect that the day will come that you will begin to see hope again. You can survive. You do have the strength to get through this.
2. Adjust Your Expectations
Accept that your emotions are a natural part of the grieving process. Experiencing death, divorce or other loss that makes you feel rejected and alone isn’t a life sentence of grief. You will emerge. But don’t put generic expectations on yourself and don’t let others do so either. You will feel an array of emotions. Remember that grief from any loss is not a linear process. You will begin to move on in your own time; just be sure to move forward before you totally lose your way.
3. Accept What You Cannot Change
One of the most frequent struggles you may face when you lose someone is a sense of being out of control because you are not able to control when someone leaves you. Even though we can’t even almost have that control, we are not victims — or at least we don’t have to be. There is a point in this process where you can and must choose to take a stand for how you are going to react to this hard hit. You must actively, consciously choose to focus on what you can change, and accept what you can’t change. This means mentally, emotionally and spiritually accepting the reality of your loss and letting go of a past that you cannot bring back.
What To To Expect After Losing A Loved One
4. Find Strength In Others
Although it may feel like you’re all alone in your experience, try talking to someone who has experienced a similar loss or someone whose presence is a source of comfort. Sometimes, a compassionate person may be a great help, even though they have not been through a similar loss. The very fact that they haven’t been down that road may bring some much-needed objectivity to your dark hour.
5. Don’t Get Stuck
It’s easy to get stuck in this negative experience and all the emotions of it, so you need to work to prevent getting stuck in anger or bitterness. Do what you need to do to help you get unstuck. This can be different for everyone. You may find help in taking up a new hobby, getting counseling or talking to your doctor about treatment options like antidepressants. Grief may cause you to be biochemically unbalanced, and medication may be the short-term jump-start that you need to move forward. Another way to move forward is to focus on all the reasons you need to return to being the person you were before the loss. Beware: if you’ve had an addiction in the past, make sure you don’t turn to that narcotic as a source of soothing.
6. Recognize That Time Is Infinite
There’s wisdom in that old saying about living every day as though it were your last. That doesn’t mean you should go out and be reckless, but rather recognize that the unexpected can happen to you. Nurture the relationships with the ones you love. You have to see time as a currency that you need to spend now, not wait for a day that may never come. You are not here forever, and neither is anybody you love.
7. Create Value From This Experience
Take the time to ask yourself what you’ve learned from going through this experience. There is value in all experiences; it just may take a closer look or a little time to see what it is.
8. Think About How You Will Prepare for Your Own Death
It is hard to have a family discussion about death, but it is a necessity. Be sure to have the talk with other family members when it is a calm time. Prepare financially for your exit from this world, and prepare your children for life when you’re gone. For example, you can make videos for your kids, sharing your advice about life, and what your hopes and dreams are for them.
9. Celebrate Life
It’s a tragic injustice if all you do is focus on the day you lost your loved one, or their illness, accident or death. Not only is it painful, it doesn’t help you heal or move on. You can and need to mourn their passing, but don’t do that to the exclusion of celebrating their life. Remember, life doesn’t stop just because that person is not alive. Ask yourself if your loved one would really want you to stop your life because they’re no longer alive. The past is over, and the future hasn’t happened yet. Adopt an attitude that says, “The only time is now: I need to live in the moment.”
Adapted from Dr. Phil’s book Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life.


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No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2016 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location for credit reference.

Author: sippingcupsofinspiration

A blogger since 2012, a published author of three Five Star romance novels, A MISTRESS, A WIFE and TELL ME LIES; LOVE ME STILL and RIDDLE ME THIS, LOVE OR BLISS. Still a small town girl with a lot of experience of people watching. Ten years of blogging experience.

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