LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES will not find you love unless you are one out of the billions. It is close to the odds of winning the lottery. Sure, some lucky person wins and entices others to play but the odds are stacked against you. I am sharing a message I wrote in 2012 and unfortunately I see many young people making the same mistake. Here it is:
Today I find that so many young people have a hard time choosing the right path, friends, and romantic partners. What I see is that too much emphasis is placed on physical beauty and financial standings and so much emphasis is being focused on those things that they are missing the key elements of a long and lasting love and relationship. Trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty are more important for love to stand the test of time. Beauty will fade and inner beauty will surface if it exists in the beginning. Time and money changes as well as circumstances and if love is real, it has been founded on being there for the tough times. If two people cannot find something beautiful about the other’s spirit, the chances of a long time relationship are slim. If they can love without condition and control and just love to love, they will overcome the tendency to move on when it is not “new and exciting”. Take the time young people and resist “instant” love and look for that one person who will be there for you, encourage you in the things that will make a good life for both of you, and one that looks for the good in you and not find fault in those “quirks” that make you unique. (Arline Miller 2012 on Facebook)
Here is an article from Love is Respect.org Dating Basics “What Should I Look for in a Partner” http://www.loveisrespect.org for other great articles.
Nice eyes? A great smile? A quirky sense of humor? There are a lot of different things that might make you attracted to someone. But having a healthy relationship with your partner is about more than attraction; it requires respect, trust and open communication. Whether you’re looking for a relationship or are already in one, make sure you and your partner agree on what makes a relationship healthy. It’s not always easy, but you can build a healthy relationship. Look for someone who:
- Treats you with respect.
- Doesn’t make fun of things you like or want to do.
- Never puts you down.
- Doesn’t get angry if you spend time with your friends or family.
- Listens to your ideas and compromise sometimes.
- Isn’t excessively negative.
- Shares some of your interests such as movies, sports, reading, dancing or music.
- Isn’t afraid to share their thoughts and feelings.
- Is comfortable around your friends and family.
- Is proud of your accomplishments and successes.
- Respects your boundaries and does not abuse technology.
- Doesn’t require you to “check in” or need to know where you are all the time.
- Is caring and honest.
- Doesn’t pressure you to do things that you don’t want to do.
- Doesn’t constantly accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful.
- Encourages you to do well in school or at work.
- Doesn’t threaten you or make you feel scared.
- Understands the importance of healthy relationships.
Remember that a relationship consists of two people. Both you and your partner should have equal say and should never be afraid to express how you feel. It’s not just about speaking up for yourself — you should also listen and seriously consider what your partner says.
Every relationship has arguments and disagreements sometimes — this is normal. How you choose to deal with your disagreements is what really counts. Both people should work hard to communicate effectively.
Please remember when you are in a fine China shop, there are exquisite pieces to choose from but when you are in a junk store, yes you might accidentally see a rare treasure but you have to dig and dig to find it. Use your time wisely as life passes so fast.
LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by filling it with people who love and respect you.
Featured photo from Love Quotes for Him, Forest Wonders
(c) Copyright 2012-2016 All material of Arline Miller with rights and privileges reserved and to be used with permission. Third party material referenced and sourced to original location.