Butterfly mirrors

Tuesday Morning Thought: Greg and I have been going through our stash in the attic and no, Antique Roadshow has not been called at this time. Old photo albums and a lot of “I wondered where that was” brought a thought to my mind. Why does it take an old photo album and “mementos of the past” to bring those loving, treasured memories to our mind. A lot of times you will see me write about old times and I do see some of my friends posting those pictures pulled from our past. A lot of comments from others in the pictures and/or questions about someone in the photo who may or may not be around now. All of this observation brought me to this, “We are components of everyone we have met, loved, disagreed with, had many memorable times, shared time and possessions with, laughed, cried, succeeded and yes, sometimes failed. Life completes us when we meet someone new as this experience helps mold our character. Think of it this way, as we get older, how may times do we hear someone say “You are beginning to sound just like….or you get more like……everyday?” We mold, blend, and even change similar to metamorphism and if we are lucky, we end up beautiful, graceful, and gloriously able to soar in the skies butterflies. Learn from others, and be one others want to learn from you. Have a day of soaring through life on the wings of an Angel.
I always remember a special friend Teresa Hester when I see a beautiful butterfly!


WILL I HAVE MY BUTTERFLY WINGS is a wonderful thought as we go through life.

Stages of Butterfly Metamorphosis
Ross E. Hutchins

butterfly stages
Stages of Butterfly Metamorphosis
Butterflies and moths are among the insects that pass through four stages of development in their life cycles.

The first stage is the egg. Adult females lay eggs on the kind of plant their young will later need as food.

The eggs hatch into wormlike creatures known as larvae. The common name for the larvae of butterflies and moths is caterpillar. Caterpillars are busy and hungry. They may eat once or twice their own weight in leaves each day. After several days of such constant feeding, caterpillars outgrow their own skins. When this happens they molt, splitting the skin and crawling out of it. Caterpillars may shed their skins four or five times in this second stage of the life cycle.

In the third stage the caterpillar goes into a resting state and is called a pupa. Different caterpillars pupate in different ways. For example, many moth caterpillars burrow into the ground; others hide behind loose bark or in hollow logs. Some caterpillars rest in silken cocoons, which they make by spinning thread from their mouths. (Silk cloth is made from the threads in the cocoon of the silkworm moth.) The pupa does nothing except rest. This stage may last two weeks; it may last a whole winter. During this period the caterpillar changes into a full-grown butterfly or moth.

In its new and adult form, the butterfly or moth emerges wet and shaky from the cocoon. As blood flows into the veins of the wings the adult flutters and dries them. In a few hours, when the wings are strong and dry, the butterfly or moth flies off to live out its fourth, or adult, stage.

Photo © Ralph Clevenger/Corbis


(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2017 Arline Miller with rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.


RULES TO RULE YOUR LIFE will seem a little strange for this lively spirited writer but I do have rules for myself. I am not posting to say this is how you should live. These are my rules and what I suggest is for each of you to make your personal list of rules with your priorities in mind. It is amazing to see how each of us find different items to focus our energy. I have also included a couple of sample lists from a variety of minds.


Monday Rules for Ruling Your Life:
1) Be in charge of the parts of your life you can control and accept the uncontrollable.
2) Believe you can do whatever you set your mind to do.
3) Do not see or hear No. Think what you are going to change the No into a Yes.
4) Do not listen to negative people. Constructive advice is always good but never is there a need to degrade another even if you disagree with everything they believe.
5) Work, work, work and never feel you are entitled to success. Success is an opportunity not a given.
6) Promise only what you can deliver. Deliver on what you promise.
7) Do not be swayed by jealous people. Do not push your success down their throats either. Their ship may be around the bay.
8) Truly successful people are not envious and should keep humility as their most coveted traits.
9) If you try and fail, remember if you continue to try to win, you are not failing you are still trying.
10) Always remember the people who supported you while you were not successful. They should be rewarded when success comes. Help others as it is always Pay it Forward.
(Arline Miller, author 2017 with side note: My personal first commitment is to give thanks to God for all faith, gifts, & blessings)



How do you decide what is top priority? One of the first consideration is the question “What creates the most passion and/or emotion in your life?”

Another question “What would cause you to argue and disagree with someone?”


Have fun making your rules and ruling your life as your life is your own and no one else’s!

Until we read again…..Arline Miller, blogger and author

(c) Copyright 2012-2017 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved with all known third party material referenced for credit.


IS BEING GOOD……GOOD ENOUGH? I see so many talented people falling short of greatness and I feel I am in this category. This post is not meant to be from a negative mindset but I think you will understand the message.



When there is a race, there are losers as well as one winner. Let’s think about that. All of the runners, drivers, swimmers practice for this race. Usually, they all practice about the same amount of time, methods, and effort. At the end of the race, it is not normal for there to be minutes between the winner and the second place runner up…it is seconds or even tenths of seconds. How about the photo finish races? Down to the wire?

Here is where the difference comes in? In the next race, the one who had finished in second place may get a better jump and win. Here comes the message….It doesn’t matter. As long as a person does their best, and given their absolute effort, life gives surprises even to the best and this is what keeps us from feeling that we can make no mistakes or come in second. We can; it is a given. The only factor that is consistent is the best athlete; the best scholar; the best writer; the best actor; the best cook will feel the pain of defeat. What makes the difference is how winners (and that includes winners who lose) react to the not so pleasant events.

Being good is good enough! As long as we are trying our best, we will succeed even with temporary losses. We will strengthen our minds and bodies by knowing there can be a next time and we will be better prepared by this experience. We can evaluate what we did last time and what we can do next time to improve…..OR…..we can stay consistent and confident our time will come. Not every race can be won by every participant so keep trying. 

Here are some points to consider:

How many times do you think Julia Child burnt a dish?

Here’s Julia Child burning food — on purpose. A plate of steak, scalloped potatoes, and green beans. A gorgeous Gran Mariner souffle. NO! I can’t bear to look. There is a lecture at the end of the video on the importance of carbon, which you will probably want to just skip — apparently Julia burning food was supposed to illustrate his point. But it’s a hoot to watch Julia nonchalantly prattling on while she pulls blackened dishes out of her various ovens. (Note from Arline: I didn’t post the video but you get the idea, even Julia Child burnt food even if on purpose)

How many times did J K Rolling’s work get rejected?

The Christopher Little Literary Agency receives 12 publishing rejections in a row for their new client, until the eight-year-old daughter of a Bloomsbury editor demands to read the rest of the book. The editor agrees to publish but advises the writer to get a day job since she has little chance of making money in children’s books. Yet Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K. Rowling spawns a series where the last four novels consecutively set records as the fastest-selling books in history, on both sides of the Atlantic, with combined sales of 450 million.

How many times did Babe Ruth strike out?

Strikeouts All Time Leaders ‘Top 1,000’




Babe Ruth



Career Statistics

Batting average: .342

Home runs: 714

Hits: 2,873

RBI: 2,213

Pitching W/L record: 94-46

ERA: 2.28

How many times has Leonardo DeCaprio been nominated but didn’t win an Oscar?

At the 2016 Oscars there is no safer bet than Leonardo DiCaprio winning the Best Actor award. Poor old Leo has waited 22 years since his first nomination, for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and if he does in fact win for The Revenant it will finally kill the many memes about his many Oscar snubs

I found this interesting and it makes sense, BEING GOOD IS GOOD ENOUGH and the key is to continue to use the skills and talents which will turn from GOOD to GREAT and maybe even FANTASTIC!

LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by continually moving and doing the things IN LIFE YOU LOVE!

(C) Copyright 2012-2017 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party materials are linked to original location for reference credit.


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Isn’t it amazing how getting priorities in place, we begin to feel uplifted and more positive. Below is an excerpt for attracting Positive Energy.

10 Ways To Attract Positive Energy August 28, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Health & Wellness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.


We are magnets.  When we emit positive energy (thoughts, feelings, and vibrations), we attract more positives to us.

Bueno!  Life, she is good!

Mangia!  Mangia!

When we dwell on the negatives, we attract negatives ~ sapping our energy and strength in the process.

If you’re tired of living under a perpetual rain cloud, keep reading! 

Yes, Eeyore, you too!

If we want to attract heath, wellness, and vitality to ourselves, we must stop circulating (and re-circulating) toxic, negative thoughts and feelings.

Here are 10 Ways to Attract Positive Energy into your life, while boosting your immune system, curing dis-ease, and counter-balancing daily stress:

1.  Love and accept yourself as you are right now.  Start a list to remind yourself of all your wonderful qualities.  Add to it every day.

E.g.,  I am the most positive person I know.

2.  Free yourself from past resentments and disappointments about who you were yesterday.  Stop engaging in self-blame and guilt for past acts and omissions.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Revel in it.

As Scrooge announced on Christmas morn, “I am not the man I was!”

3.  Let go of any and all resentment you’re hanging onto about everyone and everything else.  Stop looking for reasons to criticize and blame others for their acts and omissions.  Let go of your desire to control others.

The past is gone.  It is what it is, and cannot be changed.  Let it go. 

4.  Stop giving your power away.  Use your time, energy, and vitality wisely.  Every time you choose to focus on a negative, you are depleting your reserves rather than re-charging your batteries.

Focus on circulating and re-circulating positive, life-affirming ideas. 

5.  Use creative visualization and your imagination to your advantage, not your detriment.  Instead of picturing worst case scenarios, see things as you want them to be.  Visualize yourself doing things in a state of perfect health.

Visualize ideal outcomes and happy endings, not dire consequences.

 6.  Do not speak of your illness, or dis-ease with others.  The more attention you place on what you don’t want in your life, the more energy it absorbs.   Remove your attention from your dis-ease.  Put your focus and attention on the things in your life that make you feel good.

Starve your illness and dis-ease by refusing to dwell on them.

7.  Love is the antidote to fear.  If you appreciate the many blessings in your life, and express gratitude for anything and everything, you begin to flow in  a healing bath (rather than languishing in toxins).  Develop an attitude of gratitude by making a list of all the things you are grateful for, including  increased health and vitality.

Be grateful for the health and well-being coming your way.

8.  Recognize that you have the power to heal yourself.  That healing power flows from the thoughts you think.  Allow positive thoughts to circulate, eliminating stress and boosting your immune system.

There is no such thing as incurable.  Miracles abound.

9.  Be happy.  Appreciate this moment.  Resist nothing.  Love yourself and others.  Be  grateful for small blessings.  Make happiness your number one  priority.  When you remain positive, you summon well-being, and vanquish  illness and dis-ease.

When we exist in a state of happiness, we boost our immune systems and allow our bodies to use energy reserves for healing.  

10.  Laugh!  Laugh again!  Watch funny movies and recall memories that make you laugh.  Once you access the joy within, let it expand to fill your entire being, crowding out illness and dis-ease.

Laugh your way back to health.

As for me and my house, I will give thanks and keep my positive priorities in check. Have a fantastic day. LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST WITH POSITIVE ENERGY!

(C) Copyright 2012-2017 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is referenced to original location for reference credit.


MATERIALISTIC? RUINING THE WORLD one person at a time. I chose this particular topic because of observing how so many decisions are being made with monetary intentions without encompassing the entire effect on others. I want to refer to a common statement that years ago people dreaming of winning the lottery would make, “If I ever win the lottery, I will take care of my family.” Do you remember years ago, people made that statement many times? Have you thought about the non-existence of this statement in the last couple of years? There are exceptions but they are becoming rare entities. I use this as one example but there are many areas where people are becoming more materialistic and less-caring for others. If this topic doesn’t apply to you personally, it may help you understand others. Let me elaborate on this subject.

It is rare to see children sharing toys and I wondered why this is happening. I heard a song on the radio and it was touching but it hit home on this very subject. The song is the one in the video:


Our children are watching us and they pick up what we say, how we react and what we value and treat others. Listen to this song and how it hits the nail on the head. I remember how our parents shared their rakes, shovels, hoses, food, and anything else they could for our neighbors, friends, and especially family. If we had more than we needed, we found out who could use the food or anything else. I know some of you are nodding as that was our way of life. Once we realize that it was our blessing to have the abundance and the ability to share, we find out what seems to be missing in our world today. I have some friends who I see practicing those sharing qualities and it makes them glow in all of our eyes. Am I right? Do you have some people who possess giving and sharing qualities and you smile when you see something posted about come and get some of this and some of that? I know I do.  Sharing with others is probably more attractive than any business degree or even being famous. For all of us that are old enough to remember, let me see if you can answer this question about a famous singer….Who would stop in fields or at houses and give the owner a brand new cadillac and did this many times over? Oh yes, we remember this star not only as the King of Rock and Roll; his charitable heart was admired as much as his music.

Let me get our minds working with some questions as to why being materialistic can be dangerous to us personally and as a society:

  • When you found yourself in difficult times, who were the most likely people to help you?
  • When you gave to someone who was going through difficult times, how did you feel?
  • If you lost everything today, could you start all over or would you sink into depression about the materialistic possessions you lost?
  • If you were the victim of a fire in which you lost everything but everyone got out safely, would you feel blessed or forsaken?
  • Would you rather rescue a pet or buy one?
  • If you chose to argue and fight if a loved one died over materialistic possessions and it caused a life long separation between you and your family, would it be okay with you?
  • If your employer did not give you a raise you felt you deserved, not because they didn’t want to give it to you but because of economic decisions, would you hold this against your employer or be thankful you had your job?

This is a sample of ways to consider the value of life instead of monetary focus. Many of us have started over, had relationships to fail, had to change direction and focus in our lives. When decisions are made solely about money; love takes a back seat. My philosophy is Love should always be in the driver’s seat and put all of any disagreements or differences in the trunk and shut the lid. LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST BY GIVING AND LOVING UNTIL IT HURTS.

(C) Copyright 2012-2017 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material sourced to original location for reference credit. Photos are not property of Blog unless stated.


IT MAY NOT BE YOU BUT YOUR CHILD who contributes something wonderful to this world. I wrote the following Monday Morning thought after seeing a charm which instantly reminded me of my pet name my parents gave me. It is the effect of that pet name and memory that put the focus on this blog message on how much influence parents and other loved ones can make on a child. I happen to have an amazing daughter who from birth has been assured that I feel she is making a great mark on this earth and how proud she makes me and her dad.

Monday Morning Thought: I saw a charm advertised that reads, “As long as I Breathe, My Baby You will Be.” It stopped and reminded me of my Mom and Dad calling me baby. My great aunt Mamie Cobb would say to Mom when I would have gone by to visit that the baby had come. For all of you who know me and how feisty I can be, that seemed like a title undeserved, but to them, Baby I was. This was an endearment and how I would love to be called Baby by any of those loved ones one more time. This brings me to my thought……Parents and other loved ones have such an impression on how we perceive life; how we respect others; how we express and feel love; and how we think of ourselves. We have to watch how and what we say to our young people and offer positive and loving assertion as well as being good examples for them. BTW, I catch myself and don’t see any reason to change it when I call my daughter who is so smart and creative and a treasure to me, Baby!


I found a great article (link to entire article by clicking on the following title) that gives some wonderful suggestions for parents to nurture positivity in their children.

Core Communication Principles that Nurture Positivity


Adults play a big role in how children perceive and respond to negativity. When communicating with children, research shows that by slowing down your speech you will produce calm feelings, particularly with children who may feel anxious or angry. Speaking slowly also deepens people’s connections, allowing them to better understand each another.


Say “yes” whenever possible. If you can’t say “yes,” reframe your response to invite positive conversation. For example, if Susie asks to extend her curfew until 3AM, you might be tempted to say, “Absolutely not!” But instead of a quick, negative response, try asking a question to invite conversation on the topic. You might ask Susie, “If you were the mother, what would convince you to allow your daughter to be out that late?” You may or may not end up changing your mind, but you will engage Susie in meaningful conversation that will help her understand your decision-making process. And you’ll spare Susie’s brain and your own from some stress-producing hormones!


Yelling and arguing produces harmful chemicals in the brain. If you feel frustrated with your child, take a deep breath and try to relax before engaging in conversation. Good eye contact and a warm tone in your voice send positive signals to the brain. Words and delivery are equally important when parents are engaged in conversations in front of children.

And, of course, one of the best ways to encourage our kids to become positive thinkers is by modeling it ourselves. So try to find the cup half full and the silver in the lining. Be on the lookout for the bright side – and any other positive phrase you can think of! Your kids will do the same.

We are given to our parents and the cycle of molding and encouraging good behavior begins. When we are blessed to have children, we can provide love, nurturing, structuring, and encouragement as well as controlled discipline. Live Life; Love Life; and Live Life to the Fullest by Positive thoughts and actions.

(C) Copyright 2012-2017 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material sourced to original location for reference credit. Photos are not owned by Arline Miller unless stated.

A MISTRESS, A WIFE 1st book in Series

A MISTRESS, A WIFE, my first romance novel in the Series “REFLECTIONS OF LOVE” is previewed in my book trailer below. 27 Five Star Reviews and now, the second book in this series is available too, TELL ME LIES; LOVE ME STILL. If the non typical romance is appealing mixed with so many twists and turns you will not be able to put it down, then my books are ready for you!


DID I MEAN IT? BETTER BELIEVE I DID. Today the blog is focused on what we say, when we say it and what effect our words have on our lives and other’s. This week I witnessed someone reacting to an exchange of words and from that exchange, I learned a lot about the effects our communication/conversations have on each other. This exchange can be a positive influx of feelings building the relationship to a higher level or can be devastating to each person involved.

I go back in my mind to recall a humorous memory regarding my maternal grandmother who was resistant to her stay at the nursing home. My Mom went out every day to check on Grandmother and bring her necessities and goodies she loved. My grandmother had dreaded the thought of the nursing home and had a misconception that it was a house of horrors and she was their next victim. My Mom who understood that being nice to the caretakers might help instead of my Grandmother being on guard and complaining on how she was being treated. The staff was probably trying their best, but let’s face it when someone gets older, especially since my Grandmother was over 90 years old, it hurts when you are moved or bathed. On this particular day, my Grandmother, who only stood about 5 foot tall and never can I remember her with an ounce of fat on her body was on a tirade when Mom came in with “They are trying to kill me; they hurt me; and I want to go home.”  All of this was said in a loud voice which was strange coming from this little lady. Mom tried to calm her and while she was failing to make Grandmother understand that niceness goes a long way, the doctor walked in. After Mom telling the doctor Grandmother could be nicer to the staff and hoping to get reinforcement from him, the doctor looked at Grandmother and asked her “Now, Ms. Lillie how old are you?” Of course, Grandmother who was sharp as tacks until she passed replied, “91” to which he looked at them both and said, “91, let her rip”

I tell this story for a point. Mom was attempting to minimize any confrontation and my Grandmother just wanted to be heard. She didn’t want to lose her voice in matters as it was important to her to maintain independence. She wasn’t trying to be nasty as she was more concerned about losing her identity. The doctor was right as the staff, well trained, understood that component of life. All of us as we begin losing our independence in life become more vocal and little things are exaggerated to prove we are still paying attention.


I found an excerpt from an article on How to Communicate Effectively and wanted to share the 10 tips on this subject. The entire article can be accessed by clicking on the link from the title below:

10 Ways to Communicate Effectively

  1. Pause before responding. I don’t know about you, but I’m often in a rush for something and whenever I’m trying to communicate, I’m usually trying to do so quickly. As hard as it is for me to just pause sometimes, I’ve actually found that it works wonders when it comes to communicating more effectively with others. Sometimes just that tiny break, giving you time to think, is just what you need to really understand what someone else has said or to formulate the thoughts you really want to convey.
  2. Be trustworthy and honest. When you’re trustworthy and honest, communication becomes a lot less complicated. You don’t have to think about what you’re going to say wrong and you don’t have to worry about uncovering a secret or a dishonest statement. If you remain open, honest, and worth of trust, you’ll have a much easier time communicating with others and others will be a lot more willing to communicate with you. Words like “trustworthy” and “honest” are thrown around a lot, but they really are valuable and they are particularly important when it comes to communication.
  3. Don’t rush communication. This goes back to the point that came up in #1. When you’re rushing and trying to get through your communication quickly that’s when things can go wrong. Often when we’re in a rush, we forget things or misplace things and the same goes for when we’re rushing through any type of communication. So next time you find yourself communicating with someone else, slow down and really pay attention. Taking just a little extra time could end up making a huge difference.
  4. Adapt your ideas to others. When we come up with an idea, we often have a set image of it in our minds and that image isn’t always easily conveyed to others. If you really want your ideas to be heard, you have to work with the person you’re speaking to and find a way to communicate that idea in a way s/he will understand. This means you have to take the time to get to know your audience if you really, truly want to be able to communicate with them effectively.
  5. Stay in the moment. You know I love this one! When you devote your full attention to the person or people you are communicating with, you’re more likely to have much better results. I know for a fact that’s very, very true. Whenever I’ve gotten distracted and stopped paying attention to the person I’m communicating with, the communication as quickly gone south. If you want to communicate your thoughts effectively, you have to stay in the present moment and really be there when you’re speaking and listening.
  6. Pay attention to non-verbal cues. This is essential when it comes to effective communication. So much of what we say is actually not said, and if you want to understand what others are really thinking or saying you have to do more than just listen. You have to look and experience too. It’s very easy to say something and not really feel it so it’s very important that, when communicating, you look both at your own non-verbal cues and those others are sending you. There’s a lot to be said for what’s not really being said.
  7. Intend to understand. This idea comes from Stephen Covey and focuses on the concept of listening to actually understand what is being said, rather than listening just to respond with what you want to say. This can be a tricky thing to do if you’re anything like me, always ready to respond with your own opinion. Too often we’re not really trying to understand what others are saying but instead are trying to find a way to jump from their points to our own. Next time you’re communicating, do what you can to really work on understanding what others are saying.
  8. Be patient and open-minded. Communication, even the easiest of communication, can be tough at times, which is why it’s so very important to be both patient and open-minded in your interactions with others. Recognize that you might not necessarily be communicating as effectively as you’d like and remember to also be patient with yourself. No matter what the situation, there is a way to communicate — sometimes it just takes time. Be patient and keep your mind open for new ways of sharing and understanding.
  9. Follow up after communicating. To often we assume that whatever we’ve attempted to communicate was received just the way we sent it and, unfortunately, more often than not that’s just not the case. If you’re communicating with someone (especially if it’s important!), make sure that you follow up after you’ve communicated. Assuming that your message was heard and understand is a big no-no in the effective communication world. No matter how obvious your message might seem, it never hurts to follow up 
  10. Ask for feedback from others. When it’s all said and done, one of the best ways you can learn to communicate more effectively (particularly with specific individuals) is to ask for feedback. Take some time to speak to those who you communicate with frequently to find out how you can improve on your communication with them. Sometimes all it takes is a few suggestions and you’ll be on the road to creating a better understanding with someone else. It’s not always easy to ask for feedback, but it’s worth it!

The article from Positively Present which I loved Dani’s presentation can be found at: Positively Present


As much as we want to “let it rip” it is wise to use these tips until we get to the age where allowances might be made. It is our responsibility to choose our words carefully and wisely. The life you save may be your own. Live Life; Love Life; and Live Life to the Fullest by Wisely Living it! 

(C) Copyright 2012-2017 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.

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