LOVE & MARRIAGE, real or fantasy? This post means a lot to me personally as I was touched by a post from a young lady, married happily but realistically on Facebook and I wanted to address this thought about marriage. You will see her fantastic post below but first, let’s see an encouraging point found in a great article showing the facts and results from marriage failures and now more successful marriages. Maybe others have figured out what Regina who is our guest blogger writes about in her post.
We’ve been told for decades now that half of all marriages end in divorce — and that it’s only getting worse. But, as is the case with most “facts” that get repeated (and repeated and repeated), that’s not quite true. And it turns out that divorce rates are actually falling, not rising.
Here’s What The Divorce Rate Actually Means
Here is the post Regina has allowed me the honor to post and it, in itself, is a “bride’s eye view” of the truth behind the veil, wedding gown, and the hoopla of the ceremony and the life afterwards. Please join me in reading
Regina messaged me when I asked for permission to post this on my blog stating she reads a lot and all of the words are not her words but wise advice she acquired by selecting good reads. I think they resonated in her mind and ran straight to her heart. I encouraged her to write more and she is welcome on my blog anytime. Thanks Regina and you and Jimmie are blessed to share your life together.
I found an article showing 10 principles of success in marriage and thought I should add tips on making the most of your relationship. You can check out the entire article by clicking on the link:
Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/daily-living/keeping-romance-alive/ten-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage
Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:
Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
I read over all of the info in this blog and thought about my marriage and my husband. I say upfront, I am no expert at marriage and have only succeeded in marriage 1 out of 3 and thank goodness, it’s this one. I am blessed to have taken the lessons from the failures, if you want to call them failures. I like to call them stepping stones and I can assure you Regina’s words have resounded in my mind. I never look back but forward and this is my advice. Determination to make a marriage work is one of my best decisions. I made the statement when my wonderful husband Greg asked me to marry him and before I answered yes, I said I have been divorced twice and do you realize this one will be “Til Death Do Us Part”? We will be celebrating 17 years next month. We laugh each year because we have a RE-UP option and it is one way we can enjoy our union for life. LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST with someone you truly love for who they really are and not just your fantasy lover (even though they really are).
(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. All third party material is sourced to original location if known for access and credit. All photos are not exclusively property of Sipping Cups and are sourced if known to original location.