MISERY LOVES COMPANY II comes from an original post which received a lot of views. No one wants to be miserable, do they? Sometimes it seems like they do.
TODAY THE WORD is MISERY. Isn’t this a switcheroo? Miss Positive herself, is writing about misery. I was driving yesterday for several hours and this word came to mind about how people encourage misery in their lives. Why, you may ask, would anyone encourage misery since no one desires to be miserable. I don’t know if any of you watched the movie, Misery, with James Caan, Kathy Bates, that was filmed in 1990. It is a grueling story of how one fan became so obsessed with an author she kept him captive and made him write the next book. She subjected him to so much misery and pain. I see people who subjectively put themselves in misery and pain by the choices they make.
Life throws people enough curves on its own without us making it simpler for life to cheat us out of the blessings that are meant to come our way. How is this possible for one to encourage misery as it seems more natural for us to want happiness, peace and contentment? For some reason, and it may be subconsciously hidden, I think people who have low self esteem crave attention and that opens some doors that should remain shut. Any attention is better than none; and therefore the problem manifests itself. The victim status comes into play. No one likes me; I am not pretty enough; I can’t find a job; my spouse doesn’t treat me right; I am too fat or I am too skinny; and on and on until the person starts believing they are a victim. I am a compassionate person but I say do not encourage “playing victimitis” when you hear someone make the comments seeking attention. True hardships as I was speaking earlier warrant our compassion while at the same time, compassion given to the attention deprived victim is harmful. In place of the compassion, give encouragement in the good things about the person to build the self esteem is my philosophy.
1. Stop letting others determine your priorities.
Look — you know what’s important to you.
(Stop shaking your head — deep down, you know what’s important.)
But what’s important to you is not important to everyone else.
This is fine and normal, except that some people will try to downplay your priorities.
They will try to make you put their priorities in front of your own.
They will try to make you a spectator in your own life.
They will try to make you second-class.
And if you don’t do this — watch out.
They will try and play on your sense of obligation so you’ll keep serving them.
They might even say they neeeeeeeeeed you.
Or at least walk away from people who have dramatically different priorities than you.
Priorities so radically different that they can’t coexist without one eating the other alive.
Get clear on what matters to you.
Protect where your energy goes and protect your focus.
Take everything inside of you that used to blindly go out into the world trying to please others and reverse it.
But when you do this — be ready for backlash.
Be ready for others to fight you.
Others will feel irritated and threatened when you no longer serve them.
When you set boundaries and say “No”, they will get offended.
Don’t let this backlash stop you.
Cut off anyone who refuses to let you put your own priorities first.
Stop surrounding yourself with people who refuse to support what’s important to you.
Instead, start spending time with like-minded people who will support you, your priorities, and your goals.
Structure your life so you’re protecting your time and energy in the places that matter most to YOU.
And let others do the same.
Why add misery to misery by agreeing with a trivial whine? Could we try when someone says something negative, to say something positive? Misery loves company, so help that person out of their “misery status” to a more productive status. “I can’t find a job” may be an opening to “Where have you been looking” or “Have you tried there?” instead of “I know, you won’t be able to find a job in this town”. Happy people have bad days too: they just deal with them better. Don’t invite Misery in for dinner; it may never leave!
FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:
15 A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song. 16 A simple life in the Fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches.
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