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DON’T BE CAUGHT IN YOUR OWN TRAP!

via DON’T BE CAUGHT IN YOUR OWN TRAP!

DON’T BE CAUGHT IN YOUR OWN TRAP is one of my favs as some of us find ourselves being persuaded by others, celebrities, politicians, and even religious leaders to be a certain way, look a particular style, think the way they want you to think, and it is somewhat bullying. Be yourself, think for yourself, learn from your own mistakes or others you respect. This is one for the books and feel free to comment and share the blog with others. #blog #life #positivity #inspiration #love #uniqueness #spiritual

DON’T BE CAUGHT IN YOUR OWN TRAP!

 
 
TODAY THE WORD is TRAPS.  This morning, I had the thought of how trappers set traps to catch the animals. These traps are usually cruel entrapment and a lot of suffering occurs before death. I am not speaking this morning for animal rights (protective advocates are actively seeking protection for this practice). I want to talk about a different kind of trap…..the human trap we set for ourselves. Bear with me, as you know I am a positive person and my thoughts will lead us there in a few minutes.
So many young girls set a trap for themselves by allowing peers to put the bait on the trap and encourage the others to follow. Indeed too much pressure to look a certain way, weigh a certain amount, dress a certain way and act a certain way. Once the trap is sprung, the girls have to be molded and therefore a life style is set. Let me say this for the young girls being tempted to go this route and this has been an observation over many years; the girls in high school that usually are the most prettiest, most popular, and the most petite find out that once in the real adult world, they will need more than just looks. Sometimes, the girls who don’t blossom as early, seem to take on a radiance later in life. Once in a while, you will see some that spring the trap and release themselves from a life of being a diva and that is inspiring.
The trick is not to get “trapped” in life and to realize how special each one of us is to Our Maker, our families and our friends. Anyone who critiques another may be a little jealous as it is not always just looks people measure others by. A great sense of humor; great talents; great athletic ability; ability to communicate easily; and other abilities that shine may be a threat to those who depend solely on looks. The life trap with its bait of popularity is intriguing  to most young people; it is deadly if other traits and abilities are not added to a person’s life. External beauty usually fades and the methods some use to try to stay young sometimes come back to haunt the person. Internal beauty radiates stronger as the source of the glow ages.
Here is an article I found that has some wonderful, thought provoking quotes :

What do Susan Boyle, Paul Potts and J K Rowling all have in common – apart from they happen to be British? Their success did not come about overnight, or easily. Not for any of them came instant fame, and recognition in the spotlight.

“The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished,
or the luster of it will never appear”

Daniel Defoe

 

No matter how frustrated, troubled or dispirited on the surface, deep down everyone I have met is truly extraordinary. However hidden, the human spirit, the diamond is always there; in you, in me.

For many of us, these times are rough. Perhaps now we can come to know and appreciate more fully our capacity for endurance and the brightness of our human spirit. What is more, we can take the polishing more into our own hands.

 

Here are some tips you might like to consider:

 

1. Know what you want

Maybe you have a talent you have longed to express and develop. If not, you probably know how you would like to be experiencing your life – perhaps with more happiness, better communications with the ones you love, greater fulfilment in your work.

Knowing is deeper and stronger than wishful thinking or hoping. It is a conviction so solid that you can base your life on it.

“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”
Benjamin Franklin

 

2. Engage with your intention

Daily nurture your vision – see, feel, hear how you will be experiencing the fulfilment of your the life you want, both inwardly and in the world. Use your imagination.

J K Rowling’s Commencement Speech at Harvard is inspiring and real:

Watch Part 2 here and Part 3 here.

 

3. Practice your passion – take action

If you have a talent, keep working with it. If you would like to be happier, do things that make you happy. Better communications? Be willing to learn, practise, improve – and make mistakes from time to time. Your intention will speak volumes. Fulfillment? Adjust your attitude.

“Nothing will work unless you do.” 
Maya Angelou

 

4. Raise your energy – turn up the heat

Love yourself and be grateful for all you have in your life, right now. Pay attention to your blessings. Look up. Learn to forgive and laugh at the mistakes you make along the way. Each day, feel the enthusiasm for your vision, as if it has already happened. Stay open for the remarkable to take place. It will.

“There are two ways to live your life – one is as though nothing is a miracle,
the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Albert Einstein

 

5. Gather positive people around you

At the very least, spend time with people who are supportive and for you. Enrich yourself by getting to know others who are actively creating the best for themselves, and learn from them.

“If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.” 

Norman Vincent Peale

 

6. Get rid of what is unnecessary

Clear the clutter! Live lean with only that which you need around you. The feeling of freedom you gain will liberate you closer to what you really want.

 

7. Organize yourself for success

Find ways of dealing with life’s necessities so that you are not distracted by them. Only agree to do what you will actually do. Learn to say no to what does not fit for you.

“If we did all the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.”

Thomas A Edison

 

8. Set no time limits

Learn to live in the present moment and respond to your intuitive guidance. There are times when to act; times when to hold. You will get to know which is which.

“We have time enough if we will but use it right.”
Johann Wolfgang von Geothe

 

9. Believe in yourself – believe in your vision

Feeling doubtful? In these challenging times, young children may teach us something. As adults, we can also be persistent in going for what we value.

Consider the words of Imogen, walking with her father in the park, and Stephanie, her tv heroine:

So I’m in the park with my just-turned-three-year-old daughter when she asks:

Daddy, can I have an ice cream?
I don’t think we have time. We’ve got to go soon.
There is always a way, Daddy.
What?
Stephanie says, there is always a way!
Who says?
STEPHANIE!

“A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight,
and see the dawn before the rest of the world.”

Oscar Wilde

 

10. Treasure yourself

Do the things that show you care for yourself: eat foods that serve your body; drink plenty of water; get enough sleep; exercise regularly; make time and space for fun; stay focussed on your vision and intention. Taking care of your health is a wise investment of your time and attention.

“The diamond you are, you wear within you. You can call on its beauty and power when you want to stand forward and dazzle.” 
Random Soul 7

If you would like a free pdf copy of the revised Clear Results Self-Assessment, let me know. I would love to hear from you, either as a comment here or contact me at Clear ResultsClearResults@mac.com.

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Now for the deeper thought……It is deep……Life is to embrace our uniqueness as that is from what we grow and illuminate the world. Here is my example of what I am embracing: All of us have seen pictures of Mother Theresa, a plain looking women, who came from abundant and affluent heritage and who gave up all to serve. Is she not beautiful to view? Look at her picture and see how her internal beauty radiates and allows you to see past the wrinkles and the plain attire. She sprung her trap and with that freedom, has found her place among a semblance of saint. Today, release yourself from the trap and feel the freedom to be yourself.
 
 FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:
 
And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.
(c) copyright 2012 – 2018 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permissionThird party material is sourced to original location, if known, for credit reference.

INSPIRATIONAL OR SPIRITUAL?

via INSPIRATIONAL OR SPIRITUAL?

Sometimes we need to be reminded that it is okay not to be perfect. Today we discuss whether we consider ourselves inspirational or do we see ourselves spiritual. Please join me on the blog and share this inspiration with others. #blog #inspiration #spiritual #amwriting #life #personaldevelopment #love

INSPIRATIONAL OR SPIRITUAL?

TODAY THE WORDS are INSPIRATIONAL or SPIRITUALThis topic came to my heart and I wanted to share my thoughts on this question. There are a lot of inspirational writers, speakers, and ordinary people who are extra-ordinarily full of inspiration. This does not mean they are without a spiritual side. When I think of a spiritual person, I think and feel the aura of a Higher Power at play. Does a spiritual person always have to be a minister, pastor, evangelist, holy man, priest, Rabbi, monk, etc? Not necessarily, but they are definitely in the spiritual ranking. Have you ever had a conversation with an elderly person who speaks of their life experiences for the purpose of encouraging others, especially younger folks? They are filled with inspiration using their “mistakes” of life and how that taught them how to be a better person. Not every one of them share their spiritual experiences; some of them do. We, then have the spiritual forerunners, Franklin Graham, John Hagee, Joel Osteen,  Joyce Myers, Wayne Dyers, and others, who are inspirational in all of their messages and sermons. Several ones in today’s world come to my mind immediately and they accomplish both missions at one time.



Definitions from Merriam Webster for Inspiration and Spiritual

Simple Definition of inspiration
: something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create : a force or influence that inspires someone
: a person, place, experience, etc., that makes someone want to do or create something
: a good idea







Simple Definition of Spiritual
: of or relating to a person’s spirit
: of or relating to religion or religious beliefs
: having similar values and ideas : related or joined in spirit

When I started this blog, it went toward the inspirational format but God had His way of providing His Spiritual message and plopped it right in the message. I have never claimed to be anything but me.

 

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Do we become more spiritual as we age? Here is an excerpt from an article. I pulled only the part that pertained to senior spirituality but you may want to read the entire article by clicking on the title.

 

 

 

 

Does Spirituality Become More Important As You Age?

For many people, spirituality does become more important. But it’s a highly individualized experience. No two people are the same. We all have distinct needs, perceptions, personalities, and life histories. Some seniors see aging itself as a spiritual journey, whereas others turn to spiritual development as a way to find more richness, meaning, inner strength, or comfort in their lives as they reflect on the past and think about what’s still to come.

Many factors can affect a senior’s desire to explore more of his or her spirituality. For example, a senior or elderly American may be drawn closer to spirituality or religious faith because of factors like:

  • Retirement—This stage of life often comes with big changes to our daily activities, the roles we play, and the way we see ourselves. Although it is often an exciting and fulfilling time, it can also feel unfamiliar. That’s particularly true for people who retire from full-time careers or who no longer spend the bulk of their time raising or supporting a family.
  • Grieving—As we get older, more of our friends and family members are likely to pass away. As a result, we may go through the grieving process more frequently than when we were younger. Faith or spirituality can provide us with extra stability as we cope with the loss of our loved ones and reflect on what they’ve meant to us.
  • Decreased independence—Another reason why aging and spirituality are so closely linked is that many of us experience some physical decline during our later years. We may need assistance with certain aspects of everyday living, which can make us feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. We may even wonder who we’ve become if the way we perceive ourselves doesn’t match reality. Spirituality can help us bridge that gap.
  • Increased time to reflect—One of the gifts of getting older is that we often have more time each day to ponder the mysteries of life and reflect on everything we’ve done so far. We get to review our achievements as well as our setbacks while beginning to recognize a meaningful narrative that ties it all together. We may even start to see deeper connections between our life and the lives of people from past or future generations. In fact, one major aspect of the spirituality of aging is that, upon extra reflection, our perspective may shift in surprisingly profound and positive ways.
  • A growing awareness of one’s own mortality—Many of us fear passing away. We don’t know what the experience will be like or whether our spirit (or soul) will continue to live on. Will our consciousness remain intact? What will happen to the loved ones we leave behind? Have we created a meaningful legacy that will live on? What will we be remembered for? Spirituality or religious faith can help us make peace with our mortality.

As part of their experiences with aging and spirituality, seniors may adopt new habits or ways of living. For example, many spiritually inclined seniors:

  • Place more focus on their inner lives than on external expectations
  • Speak from their hearts more frequently
  • Put more effort into making meaningful connections with other people
  • Develop more patience and attentiveness
  • Seek more opportunities for silence and solitude
  • Change their perception of time by living more in the moment
  • Allow more time for reflection, sharing, and loving

Based on a nationwide survey from 2014 by the Pew Research Center, religion is very popular among older adults. In fact, 85 percent of Americans above the age of 65 rated religion as either very or somewhat important—the highest percentage of all age groups. In addition, among people who were 65 or older:1

  • 74 percent said they believe in heaven
  • 70 percent said they believe in God with absolute certainty
  • 65 percent said they pray at least once a day
  • 56 percent said they believe in hell
  • 48 percent said they attend religious services at least weekly
  • 40 percent said they use religion as their main source of moral guidance

So, what are the most popular religions? When it comes to American adults above the age of 65, Christian religions are the most widely practiced. About 83 percent of people in this age group described themselves as Christians. More specifically:1

  • 29 percent said they were Evangelical Protestant
  • 24 percent said they were Catholic
  • 22 percent said they were Mainline Protestant

People in other Christian religions, such as historically black Protestants and Mormons, represented much smaller percentages (six percent and one percent, respectively). About five percent of seniors over age 65 identified with non-Christian faiths such as:1

  • Judaism—3 percent
  • Buddhism—1 percent
  • Islam—less than 1 percent
  • Hinduism—less than 1 percent

The remaining 12 percent of older adults in this age group had no religious affiliations. In fact, two percent of them described themselves as atheists, and another two percent of them said they were agnostic.1

 

Now for the deeper thought…….God can take a positive person and through His wisdom, use that same person for His mission and not theirs. Sometimes, the inspirational message can be used as a spiritual tool. My thought….we can be both by living the word of God. We can inspire people to be the best they can be and while they are making the changes I felt led to make in my life, they are becoming more spiritual. There can be a big difference between inspirational and spiritual; there can sometimes be no difference. When God plants a seed, all we have to do is water it for it to grow. I am inspired by so many others who are traveling down life’s path and share their thoughts and experiences with me and others. Whatever we are; we are that by the grace of God. Allow Him to use us for his Good. Without Him, we struggle and are not the extra-ordinary people He knows we can be.

FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:
Ephesians 4:29


Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.
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(c) copyright 2012-2018 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material referenced to original source if known.

SCRAMBLE EGGS NOT OUR BRAINS

via SCRAMBLE EGGS NOT OUR BRAINS

SCRAMBLE EGGS NOT BRAINS is a nice way for us to discuss the level headed, with common sense with courtesy and fairness as the spatula to stir up a wonderful and productive dish of life. Please join me on the blog and share it with others. #blog #commonsense #amwriting #life #fairness #getonwithliving

SCRAMBLE EGGS NOT OUR BRAINS

 

 
ARE WE ORDERING SCRAMBLED BRAINS INSTEAD OF EGGS? This is not meant to be a political statement as I firmly believe in our right to choose and cast our vote for the candidate we feel is the best person for the office they seek. Majority rules and we move on. My thoughts are what I am witnessing in the human race. Most people are vocal in politics and religion but what is going on is not making sense to me. Maybe it does to you but I want to put some thoughts out there for all of us to mull over and see what we come up as what is going on in this world. We have lost one of the most important assets….Civility……and we could be returning to a barbaric world. I expect to see a caveman jump out with a club and bang people over the head. What happened?
1) When is standing up for one’s belief make them less than another? One of the rights we cherish is the freedoms so many of our young people have fought and died for and this is one right everyone should fight for. It should not matter we may not agree with another’s beliefs but we can agree to disagree.
2) In an effort to stop bullying, I fear many have become bullies themselves. Bullying is never the right path, but too much political correctness or protection gives leave way to “thin skin”. Back in the day, most all of us have had someone say things which were hurtful and we learned to stand up for ourselves. As a mere human, I cannot save everyone from every problem they may have but I can do what I can to not cause more problems for anyone else.

 

 

3) When did everyone want to have some kind of “victim status”? All it takes for me to feel I have no reason to complain is to see a photo of someone who has no legs or arms; someone who cannot speak or hear; someone burned and who will suffer pain for the rest of their lives; or someone destitute without a penny to their name; or a child with nothing to eat. And we have what problems? Let’s stop the self-pity party and count our blessings.
4) When did being a supporter of any candidate, a member of a religion, a certain race or ethnic group make any of us any less in anyone’s eyes? Uniqueness is a symbol of who we are and greatness comes from our internal character in any size, color, belief, and individualism so we should stop categorizing any person. If a person can rise and do great things, give each one the credit for what they accomplish and be proud of their courage and strength.
5) When did we lose the common courtesy which should be extended to each other? A simple thank you is appreciated but have you noticed it is disappearing from a lot of people’s vocabulary but the same person thinks nothing of spouting out criticism and rude comments. There should be a revival of respect to each other; our law enforcement; our teachers; our leaders. I can assure you I appreciate all people who choose to protect or teach us. It is not an easy job for sure.
Arline’s Note: Life is short and we can choose how we spend it. Why not scramble eggs and not our brains? As an observer of life and a positive participant. Life is what you put into it determines what you get out of it. Not too long ago, I had the opportunity to reminisce when the soles of my shoes came unglued and were flapping when I walked to school. I had to slide down the street to keep them from making a noise. Sounds like I was deprived or a victim? Absolutely not! That was life then as I lived it. I not only survived; I learned I wanted to have a decent pair of shoes and to get them I had to work hard and smart. I don’t regret one flap of those shoes; I am blessed to have many pairs of shoes because of them. Don’t play the victim; don’t make a victim out of someone else; and Be Kind to Each Other and Be Respectful!
FEATURED BIBLE VERSE:
Ephesians 4:32  
 
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2018 Arline L Miller with all rights reserved. Third party material sourced to original location if known for reference/credit.
 

DO WE DEPRECIATE OUR SELF WORTH II

via DO WE DEPRECIATE OUR SELF WORTH II

DO WE DEPRECIATE OUR SELF WORTH II is a repost from several years ago but worth repeating. I read it again myself and have learned that good constructive criticism even if it comes from within or above is essential to our human growth. Please join me on the blog and share it with others. #blog #positivity #life #selfworth #amwriting #constructivecriticism

DO WE DEPRECIATE OUR SELF WORTH II


This thought provoking blog was written and posted several years ago but I read it again and found it worthy of repeating. I hope you enjoy it. We are what we choose to be, good or better.

DO WE DEPRECIATE OUR SELF WORTH? I had an occasion to receive an opportunity to hear some constructive criticism from a person I have high respect. The person asked if I wanted it and added it’s your choice. My curiosity was raised and of course I wanted to hear what I could learn and do better. I have learned in my life to listen to others and absorb their experiences and knowledge. I could have thought “Oh whoa is me; someone is attacking me!” but that is certainly not the intention of this person. This morning, this thought came to me. It seems to me this is a subject we need to consider. So my topic is DO WE DEPRECIATE OUR SELF WORTH?
There are two choices of direction our mind can go when someone approaches us with criticism, constructive or destructive. We can evaluate and listen to what a colleague or mentor has to say. Their experience or observation may give us valuable information. This is what I chose to do and it has been invaluable to me. What do we do with destructive criticism? This may be more important to our self worth. If a person doesn’t have our best interest at heart and for whatever reason they choose to be overly critical or downright rude, how do we react?
 
 
JUNE 11, 2015 | BY LAURA SCHWECHERL 
How to Handle Criticism Like a Pro
 
Hurtful or Helpful?
 
Criticism is a term for judgment or evaluation, good or bad. And it can pop up everywhere: from college papers, to personal blogs, to family get-togethers, and chats with friends. (Your new haircut does not suit your face shape. But have a great date!) There are lots of reasons why people offer criticism, like feeling jealous or insecure in a romantic relationship (You always forget to call!). At work, organization leaders may also use criticism to help employees improve their work—and make them tremble before approaching the boss’s office. But not all criticism is bad news bears.
Constructive criticism—offering thoughtful feedback—can help us gain valuable insight into our actions and increase trust between people . Among college students, constructive criticism on academic work (Here’s how this paragraph could be better) may boost that GPA more than deconstructive criticism (This paper is awful). On the other hand, deconstructive criticism—the “you suck!” kind—involves accusing people and pointing out their faults without suggestions for improvement. Unsurprisingly, deconstructive criticism can hurt people’s self-esteem, making them feel guilty for not performing up to par. But whether criticism is useful or just plain humiliating, there are ways to deal with it and move on.
 
Your Action Plan
 
Being sensitive to criticism can be a sticky situation. Sometimes people may even stop working toward a goal out of fear of being critiqued. But don’t give in to those worries about potential critiques. Here are some helpful tips to handle any kind of criticism that heads our way:
Listen up.
Figure out whether the criticism is constructive or simply rude. You may feel hurt when your partner says you’re controlling, but having him point out this flaw may help you change and ultimately save the relationship. If criticism could be helpful, lend all ears and try to learn from it instead of getting defensive.
Respond calmly.
Be respectful no matter what, and thank someone if the feedback is useful . If the critique is uncalled for (that story you wrote was crap!), kill em with kindness. A simple smile makes you the bigger person.
Don’t take it personally.
Try to remove yourself from the situation and focus on what’s being critiqued. That C+ midterm doesn’t reflect your A+ personality! Instead, it’s a reminder to study a little harder next time, skip all that partying the night before, or realize that calculus simply isn’t your biggest strength.
Manage stress.
When we’re constantly on edge, we can feel out of control and unable to respond to criticism with a clear head. So take a deeeep breath to keep those stress levels in check.
Keep on keepin on’.

 

Remember that the criticism represents just one person’s point of view. Know what your strengths are and don’t let other people’s opinions keep you from working hard towards a goal. If somebody says you’re too short to be a power forward, start working on that jump shot!
 
 
 
 
When we find ourselves or our work being evaluated or criticized, let us remember. If it is in kind and meant with good intentions, receive and absorb it with thankfulness. We grow when we listen to others who want us to succeed. If you sense the person only means it critically, think before you respond. All of us are subject to people’s opinion but that is all it is. One opinion does not mean your worth has been depreciated but can be appreciated by many others. I love the action point to Respond calmly as I did when I said to the person offering her constructive criticism, “Of course I want to hear it. I am learning and we don’t learn if we don’t listen.”
 
 
Let us live to be the best we can; let us learn how to be the best we can by listening to our own voice and the voice of those who are willing to help us be the best we can be…..Arline Miller

(C) Copyright 2012-2018  for Arline Miller in original post writings with all rights reserved. Other 3rd party origination sourced, if known,  for reference with links.
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