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ARE YOU CRITICAL WITH CRITICISM?
Sometimes, I go back and look at some posts that I have written and repost them with some enhancements and/or editing changes. While going through the posts, I found this one that apparently I wrote in 2016 after the July 4th holiday. With the current hype of everyone having opinions which are highly critical of others, I thought I would give this one another look see. I hope we can learn from each other and hopefully in a positive way.
WHAT’S UP WITH ALL OF THE CRITICISM? With all of the fireworks a part of history today from all of the celebration from the 4th of July, it would appear that I would choose a soft, melodic message; but NOT! I would like to express a thought I saw over the holidays that proves to be a worthy topic so let me start off with a big BOOM! I am going to criticize all of the CRITICIZERS in the world. How ironic, right? I think you will get my message once you see how the thrust of the topic blazes the blog air.
CRITICISM ˈkridəˌsizəm’ in Google dictionary means:
the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
I would like everyone to pay attention to certain words in the meaning such as: condemnation; denunciation; disapproval; fault-finding; etc. Looking at the meaning do you find anything positive in these words? Do you feel that keeping the meaning in mind any encouragement is found in CRITICISM?
May I give my thoughts on this subject? I witness too many times the people who are so busy criticizing others could use that valuable time in sharing positive and encouraging thoughts to that very person. I am going to share a personal thought which I may have shared before but it has value to the worth of positive assertion applied in any situation but this pertains to parenting.
When my daughter would go somewhere or engage in something contrary to our approval and it would be time to have one of those talks, I would say to my daughter “I understand. All of us do things if we had taken the time to think if it is a good idea, we would have made a different decision. You are such a smart intelligent girl you will make the right decision next time.”
She told me if I knew how much nonsense I had kept her from getting into by her hearing my words, “Next time you will stop and think and you will make the right decision.”
There is a funny part of how this affected her future. She said, as a psychology major, sitting in one of her classes, the language coming out of her professor’s mouth on positive assertion was so similar to what she had been taught from me, “Mom, if I had shut my eyes and listened, it could have been you talking to me.”
If I can pass any advice on to others. Please stop criticizing and start encouraging! Positive assertion has encouraged me and I am sure each of you can remember when someone said nice words about something you did great and the effect it had on your day.
the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.
“thank you for all your support and encouragement”
synonyms: heartening, cheering up, inspiration, motivation, stimulation, fortification; More
persuasion to do or to continue something.
“incentives and encouragement to play sports”
the act of trying to stimulate the development of an activity, state, or belief.
Never criticize in the moment. Nobody wants to step down from the podium and bump into a friend who says he or she spoke too quickly, his or her points were inconclusive, and the speech went on for too long. In the moment, say something nice, and then pick a better time to give advice.
2. Check yourself.
Do you really mean what you are saying, or are you using the disguise of “constructive criticism” to mask personal baggage or issues you are having with that person?
If someone feels personally threatened by what you are saying, his or her defenses will go up and he or she won’t be able to internalize your criticism. Try to give the critique through a personal anecdote or an inspiring story of someone famous who went through the same thing. It’s so much easier to swallow when it’s not straight out about “you” and “your” mistakes.
4. Focus on actions, not the person.
The person is not lazy, his or her paper was just sloppy. The person is not incompetent, the editing process was just incomplete. Make sure not to focus on the person him or herself, rather on what he or she did.
5. Don’t share feedback until you need to.
If someone is about to finish a big project or speech, this is not the time to start telling him or her everything that could have been done better. Rather, wait until he or she is about to do it again. Then you can jump in with your critique, keeping in mind the previous four steps, of course.
Remember, criticism, used wrongly, can offend and threaten those around us. But used wisely, constructive criticism can be a catapult for growth and improvement.
Doesn’t the idea of supporting, cheering up, inspiring, motivating, stimulating and fortifying a person’s character sound a lot better than criticizing someone? Let’s criticize our weakness for criticizing someone who can make a difference if motivated to do something spectacular.
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness,” Hebrews 3:13
(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. 3rd Party reference material sourced to original location if known..
A blogger since 2012, a published author of three Five Star romance novels, A MISTRESS, A WIFE and TELL ME LIES; LOVE ME STILL and RIDDLE ME THIS, LOVE OR BLISS. Still a small town girl with a lot of experience of people watching. Ten years of blogging experience.
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