ENCOURAGE NOT DISCOURAGE

This morning’s blog is not meant for any specific person and doesn’t exclude myself as it is an important message for all of us. When we are in a relationship, a business association, a blogger or even a motivator and especially in a friendship, we can find ourselves in a mixed emotional situation. This is the focus of this message and I feel I can use a refresher course.

STEPS TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS:

1. Encourage even the smallest effort. …
2. Stop finding fault with the wrong and applaud the right. …
3. Look for outwardly demonstrable ways to encourage a person. …
4. Reject negative responses. …
5. Make positive comments. …
6. Write encouraging comments. …
7. Tell people positive things about themselves. …
8. Notice when someone does something good.

As usual, I like to get some thoughts flowing so we can evaluate where we stand on this topic and I list some thoughts to get the conversation going:

• Am I sincere with my comments or is it just fluff?
• Do I truly care if this person improves his or her self esteem?
• Have I listened more than I have talked?
• Is this area of concern or worry an area I have sufficient experience to express ways to improve?
• Do I offer encouragement or do I express how to do it differently?
• Do I have the trust of this person to feel my genuine feelings of encouragement?
• Do I make it known to this person I am interested in their success?
• Have I evaluated, not judged ways to encourage and not discourage?

Over the years, I have had the blessing of encouraging others and it is probably as meaningful to watch another grow. When others have encouraged me, it had given me hope I am going in the right direction.

However, I have had, and I am sure you have experienced the opposite of encouragement and received discouragement, judgment, opposition, and other forms of distasteful words which injure your confidence. What or how do we handle this form of discouragement? Here are some thought provoking questions for this element of life:

• How do I receive criticism?
• Do I feel this statement is meant to encourage or discourage?
• Do I feel less important or successful after hearing this statement?
• Do I listen if someone is offering advice or have I dismissed their advice before I hear it?
• Can I separate encouraging words from discouraging statements?
• Do I understand the difference between constructive criticism and harsh judgmental criticism?
• Have I considered my personal methods of speaking to others?

All of us have talents, some expressed and some we have hidden for fear of rejection. I have witnessed some people who have talents which are far more gifted than others who have no problem expressing their gifts. Most of the time, if the hidden talented person is encouraged by those people they trust the most, they will find it in themselves to begin sharing those talents. On a personal note, I have witnessed from my sharing of family memories, personal experiences good and bad, others will share their stories and they are delightful. I sit sometimes and wonder why they wait but that is their choice. We are blessed from their willingness to override their apprehensions. I find if I or others, who have found their voices, step out and begin the conversation, it allows the freedom for expression. This is a form of encouragement.

In all ways, try to improve someone’s days. There are struggles and we should want to help in the fight, whether it is our loved ones, friends, co-workers, and even strangers. When you are expressing your expertise or talents, we can remember the person standing in front of you may be a hidden genius or artist and the right word can be all they need to push them to sharing their talents with us. We will definitely be the winner if this happens. LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by encouraging someone to do the same.

(C) Copyright 2012-2019 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material, if source is known is referenced to original location for credit.