Recently, I posted on the topic of Everyone Has a Book in Them and soon afterwards, I found myself in the process of the last book in the Trilogy of REFLECTIONS OF LOVE, titled Riddle Me This, Love or Bliss? When this memory came up this morning on my Facebook newsfeed, I realized I wrote this post in 2012, three years prior to publishing my first novel A Mistress, A Wife. The focus for this post came into view so I thought I would share Fearlessness with my readers. If I had not been fearless, not only would I never have stepped out and written the novels which will soon complete the larger goal of a Trilogy.
Can you see the message for all of us, whether it is in writing, singing, painting, wood carving, construction, speaking, mentoring, teaching, ministering, and any of the other life dreams? If we live fearless, we can accomplish many things.
I found a great list of things to consider and to ponder in our quest of being fearless. I have inserted the link to the full article HOW TO BE FEARLESS (10 actions) as I have only added an excerpt from it.
- What other people think of you. You will never please everyone, and it is rarely worth sacrificing yourself to accommodate some other person’s beliefs about who you should be or what you should do.
- Fear of failing. You will fail. Again and again and again. Failure is the pathway to success. It is an inevitable part of success. Accept that, and failure won’t be so intimidating.
- Your status. This is pure ego and part of what other people think of you. Your status isn’t based on anything real. Just perception. Is it worth giving up real happiness for status?
- The discomfort of fear. Fear is uncomfortable. No one likes to be sitting in fear. We’ll do just about anything to avoid it. But you must know from experience, it is temporary. And it doesn’t kill you.
- Embarrassment. Sometimes we may look stupid, silly, out-of-touch, inexperienced, fumbling, weak, or vulnerable. It will happen, but you must not let it hold you back. People forget your foolishness long before you do. They are far more interested in themselves!
If you can let go of these manacles of fear, then you are well on your way to living a fearless life. But just letting go is only part of the process. You must take action.
Here are some very specific actions to show you how to be fearless.
1. Stay open to all possibilities. Let go of outcomes. You may think you want to go right, but life takes you left. So go with what life presents. Left might be more fun anyway.
2. Embrace change. Even change that appears negative. Change is constant and is part of the evolution of life and the human experience. Don’t fight it. It will happen anyway, so follow it where it leads you.
3. Make plans, but make them loosely. Set goals for yourself and work toward them. But remember, you are staying open to possibilities and embracing change. Work toward your goal, but watch for signs to recalibrate.
4. Write a mission statement. When you apply your values and vision to every decision of your life, you have a road map that keeps you from veering off in directions that don’t support who you really are or want to be. Here’s an article on writing a mission statement.
5. Find mentors. Look for people whose lives or work you want to emulate. Watch what they do and how they do it. Ask for their help and guidance. Recently, a mentor for me in creating my blog and writing is Mary Jaksch of Goodlife Zen and Write to Done. She started a blog just a couple of years ago and has now built an amazing business — with integrity.
6. Challenge yourself. Find those areas in your life where you feel fear. For me, it’s public speaking. I still haven’t done anything about it, but I know it will greatly enhance my life once I face that little demon. What is it for you? Look those fears in the eye, and accept a little discomfort so you can reap the great rewards of stepping out of your comfort zone.
7. Think big. Why not? Why not make the biggest plans, the boldest actions, the most challenging decisions? You don’t know unless you try. You can stay small and safe. Blah, blah, blah. Or you can live an extraordinary life. Read about Chris Guillebeau at The Art of Non-Conformity. This guy has done more in his thirty years than most people have done in a lifetime.
8. Create partnerships. My friend Laura talks about people in her “cluster” — people who share a similar vision and world view. Find people in your cluster and make great partnerships. Find someone you trust to work with you on your bold adventures. Broaden your circle of partners so you have a tribe of people working together for mutual benefit. This is broader than networking. It’s working together to create a net of influence, inspiration and action.
9. Seek support. If there is something you really want, but fear is holding you back, don’t go it alone. There are some fears that need deeper unraveling. I can’t imagine not being to fly in an airplane or socialize with people, but these are very real fears for some people. Whatever it is, don’t give up. Find a counselor or coach to help you. You are in control, not your fears.
10. Action, action, action. That is the greatest cure for fear. Decide what you want to achieve, then start doing the work. Focus on the task at hand. Then the next task, then the next. Action is more powerful than great books, great blogs, great motivational speakers, or great plans. Even when you are in a slump or feel afraid, just do something.
Note from Arline Miller: Maybe, I don’t see my dreams to fulfillment, I have already lived a fantastic life. I am a small town girl from Douglas, GA but I like to say I have been fearless. Life afforded me opportunities that otherwise I would have never experienced. I went forwarded and never thought NO. Sure, many things didn’t lead me to riches. However, I believe if riches and/or fame are the only reasons you want to accomplish your dreams, they may not give you the true reward in life……I actually set a goal to see my dreams a reality…..and I did it!!
(C) Copyright 2012-2019 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration and author with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced, if known, to original locations for credit references.