We live in a social media world where most secrets of the people who are in the public eye come to light, whether they are celebrities, athletes, and especially, politicians. Recently, Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, passed away after years on the highest court in the land. The pond is already swirling with big waves, and the replacement has not been announced. It caused me to think about how some people can keep a good secret and some cannot wait to expose things that were shared with them with confidence it should remain a secret.
When I looked up the meaning of a secret, I found the following:
Now, looking at this precise definition, it is crystal clear with “Should not be told to others” so why, do so many secrets come out? It is hard to keep a secret and some people struggle with this process. I found an excerpt for any of us who are sharing secrets or keeping secrets. I thought it interesting in the contemplation of secrets to share it with you.
The average person is holding 13 secrets right now. Most reflect the actions we took or thoughts we have that we don’t want others to know, such as telling lies or having extra-relational thoughts (thinking something romantic or sexual about someone other than your partner).
Holding a secret someone entrusted you to keep is near the top of the list. The greater the fear you will violate their trust, the more impact the secret has on your mental state. Most of us end up telling at least one other person the secret we were supposed to keep, which might then burden the other person to keep the secret confidential.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wander-woman/201809/why-you-shouldn-t-keep-secret
How do you feel when you hear a secret?
What feelings surface when a friend or business associate tells you something and asks that you keep it to yourself?
1. Warm and fuzzy because they trust you with this secret?
2. Apprehensive knowing something others aren’t privy to know?
3. Empowered with the knowledge as if you have an edge over someone?
4. Confused and now concerned with the knowledge?
I strongly feel that if you cannot keep a secret, tell the person Don’t tell me. A secret is a test of friendship and/or family. I was surprised when I wrote my books, that one of the questions asked was “Are any of the characters real people?” As an author, I write fiction and while I build fictitious characters, I will use character traits I am familiar with from people I have met, it’s bits and pieces of many people thrown together to make a “real fictional character”.
I leave you with these words which is a great secret to share with you.
(C) Copyright 2012-2020 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location, if known.