MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON’T

via MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON’T

MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON’T engulfs the topic with excerpts on weighing out good or bad decisions. I feel once we have gotten good at making ‘good’ decisions, we find ourselves capable of making quicker decisions that sometimes are necessary to a productive life. Please join me on the blog and share with others. #blog #amwriting #lifelessons #decisionmaking

MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON’T

MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON’T! This blog is inspired from a ludicrous video that my daughter shared. It is not the setting for the video that creates my thought about this topic as the guy was being stopped while driving a skyjack on the street. If you haven’t watched it and want a good laugh, please find it on youtube (warning about foul language used is why I don’t post it). The highlight is when the officer tells the man to come down (he has it lifted high when this occurs) and his famous reply as he moves the controls moving down, “Maybe I will come down” and then raises it again, “Maybe I won’t.”

 

Let us think about his words. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.  This means we have a choice in what happens in our lives. Nothing is a definite yes or no. What we should do is similar to the guy on the lift by weighing out the consequences prior to making a decision.

Through an article excerpt from Mind Tools, here is an example of how we can sort through the Maybe I will, Maybe I won’t by listing Pros and Cons:

Quantitative Pros and Cons

Weigh up Decisions With a Simple Approach

Quantitative Pros and Cons - Weigh up Decisions With a Simple Approach

© iStockphoto
styf22

Weigh up the pros and cons of a decision.

Many of us experience “analysis paralysis” when we’re faced with a difficult decision. Often, we’re afraid of making the “wrong” choice, so we spend a huge amount of time analyzing every possibility, and struggling to reach a conclusion.

At other times, however, we are convinced that we already know what the best solution is, so we make decisions quickly and don’t consider all the alternatives.

You can avoid both of these situations by weighing up the pros and cons of a decision – a simple but effective decision-making strategy that allows you to look at the situation from different angles, consider appropriate solutions, and make a confident choice.

In this article, we’ll explore how you can analyze the pros and cons of a decision quantitatively, so that you can make considered and well-informed choices.

About the Tool

Weighing up pros and cons can speed up the decision-making process, improve your understanding of the situation, and help you avoid decision-making paralysis. Using a simple “pros” and “cons” list encourages you to approach your decision objectively, without letting your “gut feeling” impact your choice.

This method is particularly useful in group decision making, when team members favor a certain idea, point of view, or plan. It encourages each person to consider other perspectives, and it can help your team reach a balanced, informed decision.

Note:

Evaluating pros and cons is useful for making quick, non-critical, go/no-go decisions . However, when you have to compare many different options, or explore some choices in greater depth, decision-making tools such as Decision Matrix Analysis  or Decision Tree Analysis  may be more appropriate.

How to Use the Tool

Weighing up the pros and cons of a decision is a quick and easy process.

First, write the decision you have to make at the top of a sheet of paper. Next, divide it in half vertically, and label one side “Pros” and the other “Cons.” Then, list all of the possible positive consequences of the decision in the pros column, and all the negative effects in the cons column.

It may already be obvious whether you should implement the decision at this stage. If not, consider the points you’ve written down, and assign a positive or negative value to each one. For example, a score of +5 may be strongly favorable, while -1 may be mildly unfavorable. Try to score as objectively as possible!

Once you’ve finished, add up the scores in each column, and subtract the total cons from the total pros. A positive overall score indicates that you should go ahead with the decision, while a negative one suggests you should scrap it.

Remember, always use your common sense. If you suspect that the solution isn’t appropriate, take some time to identify any factors you may have missed.

Tip:

It can be useful to set a time limit for this process during group decision making. This encourages people to brainstorm issues without over-analyzing details.

To take us farther on the path of deciding between Maybe I will, Maybe I won’t, I found a great article and I am attaching an except from the article with the link to the full article:

A bias for negativity is messing up your decision making. Here’s how to fix it.

CREDIT: Getty Images

Here’s a perfectly rational way to make tough decisions: gather all the evidence about the alternatives, analyze the pros and cons, judiciously weigh all those factors, and finally come to a sensible decision.

It sounds so straightforward, but as anyone who has ever wrestled with a tough call full of complicated trade-offs can tell you, it’s anything but. Why is that? Among other reasons because your brain really isn’t built to be rational.

Human psychology is shot through with biases and shortcuts designed to help us make good enough decisions fast (like the ones our ancestors had to make to survive being chased around the savannah by a host of terrifying toothed creatures). But when it comes to more deliberately paced, complex modern dilemmas, these same cognitive quirks often trip us up.

It’s human nature to obsess about the negative.

Take one recently hightlighted by recent research out of the Stanford Graduate School of Business, for example. Humans, it turns out, are really bad at weighing pros and cons. Negatives, it seems, just affect us more.

“Suppose you are evaluating a person — for example, a job candidate — and you make a list of his or her positive and negative qualities,” explained Stanford marketing professor Zakary Tormala to Insights by Stanford. “Even assuming you come up with positives and negatives that are equally relevant and compelling, the negatives tend to carry more weight.”

That means that even if an alternative (say a potential hire, a hotel we might book, or a new career option) is chock full of upsides, just one or two stray negative comments, reviews or possible downsides can paralyze us with doubt. On the other hand, adding one or two glowing reviews to an otherwise negative picture doesn’t generally make us rethink our poor opinion of an alternative.

Marketers have used this truth for decades, knowing that sowing just a few seeds of doubt about a competitor can lead customers into such a mental muddle they’ll refuse to buy its products. But when it comes to making optimal decisions for your own life or business, this bias for negativity isn’t so useful.

How to fix the traditional pros-and-cons list

How do you maneuver around this built-in brain quirk? The first step is simply keeping in mind it exists. “It’s possible that you could resolve your own internal conflict more quickly, and thus take action more swiftly, by recognizing that negative information has a stronger effect on ambivalence than does equivalent positive information,” suggests Tomala.

So the next time one random comment about the cleanliness of a hotel that’s otherwise garnered rave reviews is making you rethink booking a room, or a small concern about airport connectedness of the weather in March is holding you back from taking the plunge and moving to a new city, remember this study and weigh your pros and cons list again, this time putting a finger on the scales for the positives.

By mentally demoting the importance of the negatives and highlighting the pros, you can correct for your natural bias toward negativity and make more sensible choices.

After reading both excerpts, we find ourselves understanding the “Maybe I will, Maybe I won’t” would be a great title for the Pros and Cons list that is suggested prior to making a decision. The second article tells us, as humans, we have a tendency to keep going over and over in minds and procrastinating from making decisions.
I thought I would add an Arline type of list in considering the factors. I am not listing actual things that would go on the list but what you can consider about a factor in making a decision.
                   Maybe I will                                                   Maybe I won’t 

What is positive about this?                                   What is negative about this?

What do I gain doing this?                                      What could I lose doing this?

Does this move me closer to my goal?                  Does this move me farther from my goal?

Does this make me feel happy?                              Does this make me feel sad or unhappy?

What will I like about doing this?                         What will I dislike about doing this?

 

There are many other factors you may consider before taking the controls and moving in whichever direction you decide is best for you. What I have found in life is that I can receive input from others, some vital and some simple opinions but in the end, the decision is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences Maybe you will, maybe you won’t but weigh out the pros and cons before making impulsive decisions. After taking your time and making good decisions, you are also able to make those quick decisions which don’t give you much time to say Maybe I will, Maybe I won’t!

LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by using the best tool you have, Your Mind.

(C) Copyright 2012-2019 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material including photos are sourced to original location if known for credit reference.

 

SO YOU THINK FREE IS GOOD?

via SO YOU THINK FREE IS GOOD?

With all of the hype about FREE this and FREE that, I thought I would focus on what the price of Free really is to all of us. SO YOU THINK FREE IS GOOD gets real and maybe it will be thought provoking to all of my readers. Thank you for “spending” time with me on the blog and for sharing the blog with others. #blog #amwriting #life #spending #freestuff

SO YOU THINK FREE IS GOOD?

SO YOU THINK FREE IS GOOD? Today, I am addressing a popular concept and I want to apply it to all phases of our lives, not just the political consequences. Below, please find my back to work post on FB to kick off this thought process. I worry that a bait and switch swindle is being played on many young people and even some older folks that should know better. The phrase “No Such Thing as a Free Lunch” didn’t originate from nothing. Someone had found out the truth.

is

Back to work thought: I have seen all of the Socialist Democrats use the word “free” pretty freely, but as a hard working 69 year old I beg to differ. Let’s use an example of how nothing is “free”…..Think of the ads on facebook and other media outlets which say free this and free that or 2nd one free if you buy the first one at a low price, right? You know you have seen these free item ads. Ok, now the real truth, the “processing” fee is a cost. If you get the free item, you will find that a subscription, upgrade, shipping are all costs. When I was in the car business, it was a known fact and they even had a name for it “Bait and Switch” where you advertised the “deal of the century” which was a vehicle that barely had an engine and transmission knowing full well that the customer wanted and really needed more so you switched them when they came in asking for that car or truck that was advertised. I look at the Socialist concept the same way….there is no free health care, no income guarantee, no free education, and no free housing….Believe me, it costs so using the Bait and Switch Socialist concept, you use these “free” items (that the cost is passed on to the average tax payer who then can’t afford anything other than essentials and there goes the economy and stability for them to work) and then when you have been baited that this sounds like winning the lottery, they have you hooked so the only thing left to take is your freedom. To all of you that this “free concept” would be better off getting a job, working in a fairly taxed job, and have pride in taking care of your family instead of a government controlled environment. One final thought is how many of you think government takes care of the programs now? They spend foolishly and are thinking of what it means to their futures not ours……so what makes you want to put them in charge of everything you own or work for? Hmm??
Remember Bait and Switch is only meant to get you where they want you so they can switch your way of life and the payment is always higher than you planned on paying.

Image may contain: one or more people, ocean, text, water and outdoor
Next, let’s address the idea of “free” in our everyday life. This past holiday you may have gotten a free meal but was it totally free?  Maybe you didn’t have to buy it, but did you have to drive somewhere to eat this free meal? Does your car drive without fuel? Did you brush your teeth and take a bath to be presentable before leaving? Doesn’t toothpaste and water cost? The point I am making is everything that we do has a cost even if it appears to be free. Ponder that thought and No Such Thing as Free will come to mind.
I saw universal Income advertised from the liberal socialist members of Congress a few minutes ago. This, simply baiting ploy is you would be guaranteed a basic income to eliminate work……..What? Then, frankly I ask, who the blazes pays for it? I am telling you if you buy this, go ahead and buy lottery tickets with your money as the probability of this type of system to work is about the same chances of winning the lottery.
Finally, let’s examine how many “free” things can cost you. You begin a relationship, that’s free, right? Wrong! First of all you put a lot of energy and your time into it. If you were not spending this time, you could be applying that energy and time into productive work. It is the reward of getting something in return for your “work” in a relationship that causes us to input the energy and time and that is worth the effort. What if the relationship fails? You are right…..free hurt, pain, and loss but wait a minute, that isn’t even free because if you sit around and waste more time and energy over the loss, you have even more cost involved.
is (1)
Here is my final thought: If you want to achieve anything that is worthwhile, work is a necessary part of this process. I believe in this philosophy “If it is not worth working toward, it is not worth having” In all things apply your talents and the rewards will come and you are not obligated to a controlling entity. You can take a bow as you achieved a goal. LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST BY WORKING HARD AND ENJOYING THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR. 
(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location if known for credit references.

DID YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS?

via DID YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS?

DID YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS? Today’s blog brings that question to the focus of how would it feel to wake up and not know what day it is, who is standing next to you or even where you are. This is the nightmare of Alzheimers disease and how a daughter can give up her life to take care of her Dad. Please join us on the blog and share this post with others. #alzheimersdisease #alzheimerscare #daughterslove #life #health #blog

DID YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS?

DID YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS? This may seem like a silly question but today’s blog is dedicated to a subject dear to my heart and it hurts to even talk about it. It is important, so let me begin. TODAY is the day we discuss ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE. Why would I feel it a subject for my blog. I am going to be my usual up front self and discuss my daughter’s journey facing day to day with her hero, her Dad, living with Alzheimer’s disease. Missy’s Dad and I were high school sweethearts, were married two weeks after high school graduation, lived together for over seventeen years, divorced, and both of us remarried.

No, this is not a story of my life with Ralph but it is give you a base of why this is so important to address how this “thief” of life came sneaking into Ralph’s life and totally stole my daughter’s Dad from a normal life of aging and living. I want to give you a recap of the man who has become a prisoner of this disease and I think you will understand why I use the word thief in the description.

 

Ralph has always worked hard and in a highly physical occupation. The irony of this is he graduated with an accounting degree so he could have been in an office and not out in the elements working with lumber building pallets and then on to scrap metal. Just like the strangeness of this devastating disease, his decision to work with his hands, arms, back, and legs was strange in itself. That is if you don’t know the man himself. Wood crafting and seeing it made into something has fascinated him all of his life.

To see Missy with her Dad and hear her plans to donate her vehicle she had to leave behind to someone or an organization along with donating to the Alzheimer’s association, please click on this link. Give all you can to her heart felt cause or even a small donation will be greatly appreciated.

Go Fund Me Page: Alzheimers Takes. Help Us Give.

Screen Shot 2018-11-04 at 8.19.56 AM

 

I have heard of the triggers of dementia and a lot of times, an injury or health issue can set the disease into the train wrecking of the brain and daily living tasks. When several people, including Missy and me, noticed repetition of daily accounts/stories, at first it seemed simply aging but as time progressed, more and more signs that something was not quite right. I will not cover all of the occurrences at this time but loss of time, inaccuracies of where and why he was waking up at 4 am and getting dressed and going to work thinking it was the normal time of this trip, forgetting to eat normally, and on and on gave clues this was not the average actions.

By Stephanie Specht on November 15, 2017
Everyday life can be a stressful ordeal for a person with a dementia-related disorder. As the disease progresses, behaviors can occur that arenot always easily understood by family or caregivers.

Although it can be hard to understand why people with dementia act the way they do, it is important to remember that your loved one may not be acting out of ill will. It may be symptom of the disease and a changing brain.

However, once the underlying cause is identified or understood, the behavior can may be able to be prevented or at least decreased.

Common behaviors associated with dementia disorders include:

  • Agitation
  • Aggression
  • Repetitive actions
  • Verbal outbursts
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Hallucinations, delusions or paranoia
  • Wandering or wanting to go home
  • Hoarding or rummaging
  • Abusive behavior
  • Emotional changes
  • Mood swings
  • Depression

Generally, people with dementia become agitated due to three potential trigger categories: Medical, physiological and/or environmental.

Medical Triggers

Medical triggers can include sickness, fever or pain, but it can also include issues that you might not initially think about, such as:

  • Medication side effects
  • Sores, open wounds, pressure areas or bruises
  • Earache, toothache or headache

Psychological Triggers

It is also important to remember that some people with a dementia illness cannot verbally express their pain or give accurate information about how they feel.

You cannot expect a “real” answer if you ask, “How do you feel?” However, they will express it non-verbally by exhibiting a change in behavior or functioning level.

Environmental Triggers

People suffering from dementia also have a hard time processing changes in their surroundings. A move can be a little disconcerting for anyone, but for a person with dementia even rearranging objects in a room can cause agitation.

Other environmental triggers to keep in mind include:

  • New or unfamiliar caregivers or separation from loved ones
  • Lack of routine, such as no “agenda” to help orient to surroundings
  • No activity, no stimulation and/or isolation
  • Too much activity or sensory overload
  • Lack of orientation cues, such as ways to find the bedroom or bathroom
  • Lighting that might be too bright, not bright enough or creates shadows
  • White noise such as a lawn mower outside or an appliance humming inside the home
  • Room temperature (too hot or too cold)
  • TV or radio that is left on all the time can cause confusion
  • Clothes too tight, shoes too small or hair pulled too tight
  • Clutter

In addition, things that we hardly notice as we go about our day-to-day activities can agitate a patient with dementia. If you are having a hard time figuring out what might be bothering your loved one, take a moment and observe your surroundings for the following triggers:

  • Shiny floors: What might look nice and clean to you could look like ice or standing water to a dementia patient.
  • Mirrors: When a dementia patient looks into a mirror they often do not recognize themselves or they can get “lost” in the depth of the mirror.
  • Color contrast: Too much or too little color contrast can de disorienting for dementia patients. For example, an all-white bathroom can be disorienting because it can make it difficult to see the difference between the toilet set and the wall or the floor. And too much contrast can be problematic as well. Two-toned carpet, checker-board tile or black door mats can look like holes in the floor to a dementia patient.

If you are a caregiver and you are having trouble identifying the causes of your loved one’s discomfort or agitation, talk to your health care provider about potential triggers. Some simple changes could make all the difference for you and your loved one.

This article was reviewed by Lisa Hebert-Meritt, COTA/L, CDP, CADDCT, Carilion Clinic Home Care, program lead for Carilion’s Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia Management Home Care Program.

Learn more about the seven stages of dementia.

 

Screen Shot 2018-11-04 at 8.19.38 AM

 

As a blogger, I usually don’t self promote, but this is a cause that I have witnessed the tremendous sacrifices of my daughter who left abruptly without thought of her life, had to give up her place she loved, have all of her belongings shipped and no place to store them or even set them up, and leave her vehicle which is a good car without having time to sell it. She is the primary caregiver and wants to keep her Dad at his home he built. She deserves help to help her Dad and others at the same time. Don’t you think this is the day to give? DON’T FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS…..IT’S THE DAY TO GIVE. PLEASE.

(C) COPYRIGHT Arline Miller 2012-2018 with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced, if known to original location for credit reference.

DON’T CLEAN UP; CLEAN OUT PANTRY

 

84d32-healthy2bfood2bpantry2b2
TODAY THE WORDS are DON’T CLEAN UP; CLEAN OUT THE PANTRY.  As I start the New Year off with more focus on how we can live and eat in a really tempting world. How many commercials have food which can never look as good as they do while they want you to use their products? How many times have we gotten up from watching a commercial and gone into the pantry or refrigerator looking for the food you saw on the commercial? How many times if you didn’t find that product, you chose something else and ate due to the temptation? Now, all of us have done this so let’s be honest. If you haven’t; Kudos to you.

What we as consumers should realize, this is BIG business for advertisers and manufacturers and we get the blow on both arenas. We support the advertisers by buying all of the products advertised and we support the weight loss product industry by gaining weight from the very products we bought. Look at the following information with the link attached about advertising:

Total media ad spending in the US this year will see its largest increase in a decade, according to new figures from eMarketer. On the strength of gains in mobile and TV advertising, total ad investments will jump 5.3% to reach $180.12 billion, achieving 5% growth for the first time since 2004, when ad spending increased 6.7%.

1214d-ad2bspending2bchart

– See more at: http://www.emarketer.com/Article/Total-US-Ad-Spending-See-Largest-Increase-Since-2004/1010982#sthash.135lkbkO.dpuf

1ba42-healthy2bfood2bpantry1

Healthy Eating Tip: Before you can lose unhealthy eating habits you have to lose the unhealthy foods out of your pantry and refrigerator. If it is there and when those cravings come; it is harder to resist. If they are hard to find or you have to go buy them; you have a better chance of talking yourself out of them. We haven’t completed our over haul yet but we are making a dent in them. It is not easy and we are human but the effort is worth it. (I posted this on FB last year and did a good cleaning of the pantry, but it’s back).

One of the realistic, humanistic facts we know is normally we, at some point and time, will backslide and return to old unhealthy habits. I try to remember I fall victim to my emotions or situations and food has been a source of comfort. I have a sign up “I eat to live; not live to eat.” I have to read this and reassure myself I mean it.

ebab1-healthy2bfood2bpantryEAT TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO EAT

I want to leave all of us with a thought: Eating to live means healthy eating and exercise. Living to eat is to fall victim to the unhealthy culprits hiding in our refrigerators and/or pantries waiting to devour our good intentions when we devour all of those empty calories and add chemical toxins into our bodies who ache to be healthy. Our bodies want to be fit; lean; and healthy. It is the commercial temptations which we have to fight like pro boxers. Prepare for the fight for your life! Clean out the frig and the pantry. If it is not there; you CAN’T eat it. It is that simple.  On my list for this weekend: Clean out pantry and take a picture of how good it looks with healthy choices. Keep the picture on your refrigerator to remind you not to buy the wrong foods.

“Beware of the temptation by removing yourself from watching so much television or watch more movies without the commercials. Use the time for learning how to maintain your health. I am making it my mission to research on a regular basis and my health is improving. Trust me, this isn’t easy for this Southern Gal who was taught “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  Until we read and eat again…..Arline Miller, Author

(C) COPYRIGHT Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced, if known, to the original location with links for credit and reference purposes.

STARTING OVER AND OVER AND OVER

STARTING OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER is the topic which came to my mind  after a week’s break from social media and apparently from my healthy eating lifestyle. Oh wow, how many times do I start over? Do you start over many times or are you one who is disciplined enough to remain loyal to any routine, habit, exercise, or eating program? We are about to get real on this blog post so no need to give excuses, justifications, and blatant lies, oops caught us didn’t I?

I have started many programs to lose weight, get in better physical shape, eat healthier, etc., and etc., and etc. I am elaborating on all of the extras by the over use of etc. but it is  a point in this discussion.

Let’s examine how we get to the mental state and the reasons we repeatedly quit over and over again. Have you given thought as to why it becomes necessary to restart our engines, turn our bodies off, and then why we try to start our engines again?

is (2)

First, an interesting article to ponder the ways and reasons to start over. You can click on Starting Over to go directly to this article by:

Screen Shot 2018-08-11 at 8.39.21 AM

10 Ways and Reasons You Can Start Over

Once you honestly commit to changes, you’ve started the process.

Posted Jan 17, 2010

Starting Over

Instead of making a resolution, which most of us aren’t all that great at keeping, why not look for some areas in your life where you’d like to begin anew? Here are some tools to make starting over a little easier and your new year a little more emotionally fit.

1. Starting over is not the same as recouping from a failure. It is a new beginning. This mindset is helpful because it keeps you from wasting your time being too hard on yourself.

2. Moving through life is like climbing stairs. You go up a level and then you level off. Nothing is ever a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and with your newfound direction.

3. This new year is also a new decade. It could also be a new life if you approach it in the right way. Sometimes little ideas can turn into big things. Try writing that letter to the editor or, if you need to, make the choice to drink a little less alcohol.

4. Endings are not necessarily bad things. Even if the past year was your best so far, the one ahead might just leave it in the dust. This is also true if it’s been your worst year so far, and you’ve suddenly found yourself unemployed or unattached.

5. Starting over may feel scary, but it’s really a cause for celebration. Think of it as exciting, and many of your anxious feelings will begin to fade.

6. Remember that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well.

7. Having to start over is different from choosing to start over. For those whose lives are still in chaos because of manmade and natural disasters, starting over is not a choice. Giving support to those in need and being able to accept it when necessary are great qualities.

8. Healthy alternatives to negative lifestyle patterns abound. Take baby steps if you don’t feel comfortable making all your changes on January 1. If you can’t stop a bad habit, start by cutting back. It’s okay to give yourself a little time to moderate or stop something that’s hurting you.

9. It’s not all about joining a gym to get fit. What about taking a dance class to get in shape and have fun at the same time? Starting over can mean chasing your dreams. We’re happiest when we’re moving toward a goal.

10. Starting over is about giving yourself a chance at real happiness. You will have to be brave and get good at learning new things, but how bad can that be? At the very worst, you will acquire the skills you need to start on the next project.

***********************************************************************************

is (4)

Being a pro at starting over I gave this some thought about the positive approach to starting over and not fearing it. Here are some of them for your thought process:

  • Starting over is like taking a refresher course. We know all of the facts but some of them should be reviewed to make a deeper impression of the whys and why nots to contemplate whether this is worth the effort to try again.
  • Lots of things in life do not offer a “Do Over” but we need to take advantage of the things we can “Do Over” and have a shot at achieving a better score, a fitter body, a healthier life, and a more successful financial situation.
  • I think failure is not measured by how many start overs and/or tries but for the end result. How many millionaires and billionaires had to stop, think, usually feel like they failed, and then kick themselves in the rear, pick themselves up, and go at life like a winner.
  • I keep the idea of starting over in the same mental category with the phrase, “If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try, try again!”
  • How many times did it take when you tried something that you love to do? Did you fall trying to ski? Did you bust your rear end on the floor when you roller skated? Did you ride your bike without a fall and when you fell, did you throw the bike away or get up, dust your seat off and go at it with even more determination?

motivational-quote-3403638__480

 

Life is a trial and a trial means many attempts at getting it right and getting the job done. Live Life, Love Life, and Live Life to the fullest by learning from your mistakes and improving all things by starting over and over and over again. Good living my friends!

(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material, if sourced, is given original location and ownership. 

GETTING REAL WITH REALITY

GETTING REAL WITH REALITY may be a little too real this morning but this topic will be similar to sand paper and rub you the wrong way but to create a good finish, it has to be hurtful. Recently, several instances and events occurred around me and others and it seemed meaningful to GET REAL not only with myself but others too.  I looked up the word realism and analytically, IT IS WHAT IT IS.

  1. 1.
    the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.
    “the summit was marked by a new mood of realism”
    synonyms: pragmatismpracticalitycommon sense, levelheadedness

    “optimism tinged with realism”
  2. 2.
    the quality or fact of representing a person, thing, or situation accurately or in a way that is true to life.
    “the earthy realism of Raimu’s characters”
    synonyms: authenticityfidelityverisimilitudetruthfulnessfaithfulness

    “a degree of realism”

    When you read through the definitions, what are the words that stick out? Did “as it is” or did “authenticity” or “levelheadedness” hit you smack dab in the face? This brings the topic to the forefront of this blog.

    Here goes my opinion: In a world of fake-ness and this is not going to get political, but fake news, it is too easy to buy into all of non-realism. To me, it started when women first with fake breasts, butt augmentation, and nose jobs and then men began to alter their appearances too . The alter realism or fake world began. If truth be known, the judgment of each other became a common place. When men looked at women, they liked what they saw but found natural women less attractive and for some reason put fake-ness on a higher platform. When celebrities pushed the button and a natural curvy woman became a thing of the past, a renaissance image; the world began to admire the fake image or what was perceived as beauty but never was it perfect enough.

    joycebrothers1-2x

    We lost the era of calendar girls, even the Marilyn Monroe image and it led to giving up the Law of Attraction’s Accepting philosophy. I may not agree with everything but watch the video for positivity with assertion of confidence. You can view the video by clicking on the link below.

    The Truth on Changing your Appearance

     

    Did this video help you to see what we see in ourselves and accepting how we truly look and act can actually attract acceptance from others? Put this theory to the test by getting real and being real. If we are blessed to have gifts, share them. If we aren’t the prettiest girl or guy on the block, remember that Lucille Ball was a beautiful women but she is remembered by her zany actions and odd facial expressions. So was Phyllis Diller, the comedienne, and she played the zaniness up to the max. We can also look at the men who made the most of their “normal looks” by hamming it up. Can you think of John Candy, Red Skelton, and Mr. Bean?

    We live in a materialistically cruel world and to survive and what I like to think “Thrive” we rid ourselves of false expectations. I was reminded the other day when I Portrait Pro’d a photo of myself by my husband who said why did you do that? I said to look my best for the author site and he laughed and said, “You don’t need any fixing, you look beautiful the way you are.” I am not repeating that for vanity but realism. We should love each and every wrinkle as those are experience lines, both good and bad. It speaks volumes for our journey of life.

    images (1)

     

    I will give you one more example for your soaking of reality and how it is that one magic moment in your life when you find out you are more than enough, sufficient within your soul and life, and special because of your uniqueness. I will remind you when you are watching the shows that are related to nature and the host or the animal trainer or rescuer comes on, would you relate to them if they weren’t tan or even leather skinned, weather worn, dressed in khaki or similar common but practical clothes? True or not true? When have you seen a fancy, dancy outdoorsman or woman? It is simply how true realism works and if we apply that truth, we let down our guard and become a real person, with the good parts, average parts, and even the parts we aren’t the fondest.

    befall-the-earth-quote-1460570__480

    LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST BY GETTING REAL  with REALITY. I wish you the very best life has to offer.

    (C) Copyright Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and permission reserved. Third party material is sourced to original source for credit references.

IS IT COMMON TO LOSE COMMON SENSE?

common sense

IS IT COMMON TO LOSE COMMON SENSE? This morning I ran across a memory post on Facebook and it seems as applicable or even more in this world of he said, she said, or they said. or anonymous said.  I am posting it here and then I will give you my additional thoughts on this subject.

Screen Shot 2017-06-10 at 8.12.02 AM

common sense 2

Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes common sense:

Definition of common sense

  1. :  sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts She’s very smart but doesn’t have a lot of common sense. rely on common sense for personal safety

Common Sense Is Neither Common nor Sense

Psychology Today  provides an excellent insight on Common Sense.

Common sense, defined as “sound judgment derived from experience rather than study,” is one of the most revered qualities in America. It evokes images of early and simpler times in which industrious men and women built our country into what it is today. People with common sense are seen as reasonable, down to earth, reliable, and practical.

But here’s the catch. Common sense is neither common nor sense. There’s not a whole of sound judgment going on these days (though whether it is worse than in the past, I can’t be sure), so it’s not common. If common sense was common, then most people wouldn’t make the kinds of decisions they do every day. People wouldn’t buy stuff they can’t afford. They wouldn’t smoke cigarettes or eat junk food. They wouldn’t gamble. And if you want to get really specific and timely, politicians wouldn’t be tweeting pictures of their private parts to strangers. In other words, people wouldn’t do the multitude of things that are clearly not good for them.

And common sense isn’t real sense, if we define sense as being sound judgment, because relying on experience alone doesn’t usually offer enough information to draw reliable conclusions. Heck, I think common sense is a contradiction in terms. Real sense can rarely be derived from experience alone because most people’s experiences are limited.

In fact, I think that so-called common sense is a fallacy that has been foisted on us by our culture of ideology (any ideology that wants to tell us what we should think and do) that prefers us to be stupid, ill informed, and poor decision makers. Sorry to get a bit political here, but common sense is even used as an ideological cudgel by conservatives in which so-called coastal elites lack common sense and, as a result, are out of touch with “real Americans” who apparently have an abundance of common sense. But, if we use our elected representatives as examples (though I can’t vouch for how representative they actually are), I think it’s safe to say that unsound judgment, that is, the absence of common sense, doesn’t discriminate based on political ideology.

The word common, by definition, suggests that common sense is held by a large number of people. But the idea that if most people think something makes sense then it must be sound judgment has been disproven time and time again. Further, it is often people who might be accused of not having common sense who prove that what is common sense is not only not sense, but also completely wrong. And, by the way, common sense is often used by people who don’t have the real knowledge, expertise, or direct experience to actually make sound judgments.

The unfortunate reality is that trusting common sense, in point of fact, causes us to make poor rather than sound judgments. Perhaps the biggest problem with common sense is that it falls prey to the clear limits of personal experience. Or, we don’t even have any actual experience in the matter and rely simply on what we believe to be true or have been told is true, what we might label “faith-based sense” (in the broadest sense of the word faith). For example, when you’re having a discussion about just about anything that requires taking a stand, for example, the weather, the economy, raising children, sports, what have you, how often do you hear some variation of “Well, it’s been my experience that [fill in the blank]” and the person then draws a conclusion based on said experience? And how often is that conclusion wildly at odds with the facts? More often than not in my experience (though, of course, my experience may be insufficient to draw a truly sound conclusion).

I think we need to jettison this notion of the sanctity of common sense and instead embrace “reasoned sense,” that is, sound judgment based on rigorous study of an issue (which also includes direct experience). Of course, we can’t do an in-depth scientific study of every issue for which we need to draw a conclusion or make a decision. We can’t, in the formal sense, do a review of the literature that includes relevant theories and the scientific findings to date, prepare detailed hypotheses, design a formal methodology, collect data, and employ complex statistical analyses from which we draw conclusions. But we can, and should, apply many of these basic principles of the scientific method in more informal ways to our daily lives.

 

 

**********************************************************************************

COMMON SENSE PIC

As you have learned, I like to  “look at life from both sides now” and I found an article which is interesting for all of us ponderers to consider. REASONED SENSE may be the new word for common sense. I think you will find it worth the read.

Common nor Sense

How often is common sense correct?

Common sense, defined as “sound judgment derived from experience rather than study,” is one of the most revered qualities in America. It evokes images of early and simpler times in which industrious men and women built our country into what it is today. People with common sense are seen as reasonable, down to earth, reliable, and practical.

But here’s the catch. Common sense is neither common nor sense. There’s not a whole of sound judgment going on these days (though whether it is worse than in the past, I can’t be sure), so it’s not common. If common sense was common, then most people wouldn’t make the kinds of decisions they do every day. People wouldn’t buy stuff they can’t afford. They wouldn’t smoke cigarettes or eat junk food. They wouldn’t gamble. And if you want to get really specific and timely, politicians wouldn’t be tweeting pictures of their private parts to strangers. In other words, people wouldn’t do the multitude of things that are clearly not good for them.

And common sense isn’t real sense, if we define sense as being sound judgment, because relying on experience alone doesn’t usually offer enough information to draw reliable conclusions. Heck, I think common sense is a contradiction in terms. Real sense can rarely be derived from experience alone because most people’s experiences are limited.

In fact, I think that so-called common sense is a fallacy that has been foisted on us by our culture of ideology (any ideology that wants to tell us what we should think and do) that prefers us to be stupid, ill informed, and poor decision makers. Sorry to get a bit political here, but common sense is even used as an ideological cudgel by conservatives in which so-called coastal elites lack common sense and, as a result, are out of touch with “real Americans” who apparently have an abundance of common sense. But, if we use our elected representatives as examples (though I can’t vouch for how representative they actually are), I think it’s safe to say that unsound judgment, that is, the absence of common sense, doesn’t discriminate based on political ideology.

The word common, by definition, suggests that common sense is held by a large number of people. But the idea that if most people think something makes sense then it must be sound judgment has been disproven time and time again. Further, it is often people who might be accused of not having common sense who prove that what is common sense is not only not sense, but also completely wrong. And, by the way, common sense is often used by people who don’t have the real knowledge, expertise, or direct experience to actually make sound judgments.

The unfortunate reality is that trusting common sense, in point of fact, causes us to make poor rather than sound judgments. Perhaps the biggest problem with common sense is that it falls prey to the clear limits of personal experience. Or, we don’t even have any actual experience in the matter and rely simply on what we believe to be true or have been told is true, what we might label “faith-based sense” (in the broadest sense of the word faith). For example, when you’re having a discussion about just about anything that requires taking a stand, for example, the weather, the economy, raising children, sports, what have you, how often do you hear some variation of “Well, it’s been my experience that [fill in the blank]” and the person then draws a conclusion based on said experience? And how often is that conclusion wildly at odds with the facts? More often than not in my experience (though, of course, my experience may be insufficient to draw a truly sound conclusion).

I think we need to jettison this notion of the sanctity of common sense and instead embrace “reasoned sense,” that is, sound judgment based on rigorous study of an issue (which also includes direct experience). Of course, we can’t do an in-depth scientific study of every issue for which we need to draw a conclusion or make a decision. We can’t, in the formal sense, do a review of the literature that includes relevant theories and the scientific findings to date, prepare detailed hypotheses, design a formal methodology, collect data, and employ complex statistical analyses from which we draw conclusions. But we can, and should, apply many of these basic principles of the scientific method in more informal ways to our daily lives.

********************************************************************************

common sense 1

 

 

In conclusion of the breakdown of what we older people have referred to a common sense may be more realistically described as ‘REASONED SENSE” and it may be less common than any of us want to admit.

 

 

I will leave you with this LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, LIVE AND LOVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by appreciating and understanding that life sometimes makes no sense, common or reasoned, at all.

 

(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2018 ARLINE MILLER with all rights and privileges reserved. All third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit. Photos are not exclusively property of blog unless stated.

%d bloggers like this: