ACCEPTING YOURSELF TO ACCEPT OTHERS (2020 Post)

I have given this post a lot of thought. It seems we are struggling to accept others and this struggle has brought a lot of discord among all people. Politics have taken the place of parenting as we are persuaded to think this way or another. As children, our source of influence was simpler. We had parents who wanted us to behave in a certain way, respect or even disrespect according to how they felt, and our faith had a lot more to do with how they believed than a personal relationship with a Higher Power. Today, I look at the pros and cons of thinking on our own and finding ways of accepting ourselves in order for a better assessment of how we feel about others.

Let us begin with the quote from Lucille Ball:

Love Yourself First And Everything Else Falls İnto Line. You Really Have To Love Yourself To Get Anything Done İn This World.

How can we expect to love others with their imperfections if we do not accept our imperfections? How can we accept love from others when we are incapable of accepting self love?

I looked at this perception of love and I know this is the key to a more peaceful transition. This quote from John Spence is reflective of my thoughts:

Maybe if we get alone with ourselves, accept the good qualities we possess, as well as the imperfections which may be inherent or here’s a thought…We can work on ourselves first to improve our ability to co-exist with others if we obtain a peaceful environment about ourselves. I have assembled some questions to begin the contemplation of whether we truly love ourselves as a person:

Here are some thought provoking questions:

1- If I met someone exactly like myself, would I like them or would I find fault?

2-Could I carry on a conversation with me and find it interesting, boring, or antagonizing?

3-When I am alone, am I content or do I try to find alternate ways to avoid myself by eliminating alone time?

4-When looking in a mirror, do I look at myself realistically or do I imagine a different person staring back at me such as a younger, leaner, athletic, or a more contented person?

5-Do I value my thoughts and write down my thoughts or do I depend only on others written words?

6-Do I share my thoughts or creative ideas on how to do something with others or offer to teach things I know how to do well?

7- Do I always find myself in contradiction to surroundings, events, news, books, movies, etc.?

8-Can I compliment myself when I exhibit good qualities or do I shy away from personal achievement or recognition?

9-Do I see my life as a success, even with occasional set backs or do I feel like a failure?

10-Can I express love for myself to do the following instructions as expressed by Dr. Steve Maraboli?

This self evaluation is necessary for us to be fair in how we accept others. It would be impossible to accept others if we cannot accept ourselves. We, as well as others, will never be perfect. Imperfection is a part of love, self and expressing love to and for others. In life, the average looking girl can be happier than a homecoming queen sometimes. The reasoning is the bar was never pushed so high for the average girl but so high for the homecoming queen that maintaining happiness is not sustainable as time and wrinkles come. Live in reality, love the uniqueness of each individual by initially accepting yourself.

(C) Copyright 2012 -2022 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights reserved and to be used with permission. Third party material is sourced to original location if known for credit references.

GUEST BLOGGER/BRUCE FLETCHER

Bruce Fletcher from lifetimeofhappy.com is our guest blogger. This article is his writing submission and very interesting and informative.

I am happy to post a wonderful article from Bruce Fletcher, blogger/writer. You may check out his website for more of his work on lifetimeofhappy.com and let’s welcome him to Sipping Cups of Inspiration. He has all rights and privileges attached to this article and links. It is exciting for me to acknowledge others’ talents and information so if you enjoy this article as I am sure you will, please comment and allow Bruce to feel our support.

Here is WORKING AND RELAXING AT HOME by BRUCE FLETCHER:

Working and Relaxing at Home

Separating your work from your hobbies can be a tricky task, especially if you’re working from home. It can be difficult to be productive, and it can also feel hard to properly relax when your work is right next to you. Updating your home so that it can be used as both a place of relaxation and a workplace is one of the best things you can do to maximize your well-being and productivity. Here are a few tips courtesy of Sipping Cups of Inspiration.

Keep Your Work and Hobbies Separate

One challenge of working from home is that you’re always one step away from being distracted by the things you love in your home. Making sure you keep your workspace free from distractions can help you work more efficiently and then be in the moment to enjoy your hobbies more.

Create a Space Dedicated to Your Hobby

Whether your hobby is working out, arts and crafts, or playing online games, creating a room dedicated to doing something you love is a great way to relax and disconnect from your work. A hobby room is a great way to release the stress of work and can provide a creative outlet that makes you feel more energized. 

Upgrade Your Home Office

Making changes to your home office can ensure that you work more efficiently and will make working more enjoyable. There are many things you can do to renovate your home office:

  • Decorate the walls of your office. Whether you repaint the walls for a cleaner feel or add sculptures and paintings, decorations can greatly improve your work efficiency and enjoyment.
  • Make your office ergonomic. Investing in a comfortable chair and desk will ensure that you can work longer hours without feeling physically uncomfortable.
  • Organize your space. Having a decluttered and organized office space will greatly enhance your productivity during work time.

Declutter Around the House

A clean house can be a gateway to reduced stress levels, allowing you to relax more fully at home. Try going around the house and packing up belongings that you don’t use often, or consider donating what you don’t need. Additionally, consider removing the digital clutter from your life by erasing files and apps on your phone and computer. Doing this can contribute both to reduced stress and higher productivity during the workday.

Prioritize Your Own Wellness

Making sure that you find time to wind down is crucial for your well-being and work-life balance. When you aren’t working, try to prioritize your wellness with mindfulness-based practices such as meditation and yoga. Regularly engaging in mindfulness practices can help you to relax and reduce work-related stress.

Creating a dedicated wellness space in your home can help you to practice mindfulness regularly and reduce stress levels. 

Finding the Right Balance

Making sure that you have a proper balance between working and relaxing is crucial for your own well-being and the success of your company. Working from home also means that you must spend more time on planning workplace management and public relations to ensure that you still have an efficiently run company with a strong online presence.

Image from PEXEL

Note from Arline Miller, blogger and author of Sipping Cups of Inspiration: Thanks, Bruce Fletcher of lifetimeofhappy.com for this enlightening article reminding us of how to Work and Relax at home. As for someone who has worked from home for many years, this resonates with me. I welcome you back in the future, and extend this offer to any of you who have content you would like to submit for prior publishing review. We wish you the best Until We Read Again…..Arline Miller.

(C) Copyright 2012-2022 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration and Reinvention Queen with all personal rights and privileges reserved. Third party material including photos is sourced to original location/author, if known, for credit references.

STAKING MY REPUTATION ON AIR FRIED GRILLED STEAK

I have promised my readers/followers that as I test out different dishes/meals in my Power XL Air Fryer Grill Oven 7 n 1 appliance, I would update you on the good and the bad (if any) results and I am excited to tell you that one of my concerns was grilling a steak. It is so pricey these days to purchase beef of any kind but steaks are so costly, that a chance of failure was highly stressful.

Here is how I prepared steaks for us yesterday with the most favorable results, better than I could have imagined, and even my grill master husband Greg said they were excellent and so tender.

We started with good steaks and seasoned with my husband’s blend of salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Before we placed them in our Power XL 7 n 1 Air Fryer Grill Oven, we used the tenderizer which works wonders. Then after they had time to mellow, we placed them on the grill pan in the bottom slot. I splashed a few small dashes of Liquid Smoke to add that outdoor taste. I set it on 400 degrees, Grill feature, time was set past 20 minutes (oh yes, I preheated for 5 minutes prior to inserting steaks.)

The next thing was I had made garlic butter by processing room temperature butter, 2 heaping teaspoons of minced garlic and a dash of onion salt. I added 2 tsps of dried parsley. This was awesome and I smeared some on the steaks after they began grilling. We also used a pat of this garlic butter on top of the grilled steaks. Yummy!

I don’t know about you but these are perfectly medium rare steaks. The first time was 5 minutes on Grill, Flipped them and set timer for 3 minutes, changed the setting to Broil for 3 minutes, and wallah, perfect steaks without cranking up the grill and dealing with rainy cold weather.

We let the steaks rest for about 5 minutes and then plated with some macaroni salad as well as a small green salad. Easy breezy. No condiments needed and we discovered a great way to use our Power XL Oven. BTW, next time I grill pork chops, I will follow the same procedure.

Here is our grilled steak and I hope you will try this method as the clean up was as easy breezy as the grilling. Grill marks on a tender delicious steak. Don’t forget the Liquid Smoke and the Garlic Butter. The knife glided through the steak and that is all I needed to see.

Please remember you can do the sides in the Air Fryer as well like a perfect baked potato or fries. Veggies can be air fried/grilled easily too. I have a lot of recipes on my Pinterest board for your viewing and pinning.

I hope you will try many recipes and feel free to let me know how they turn out. I want to try the Bang Bang Salmon soon….Until We Power Up Again….Happy Meals to You…..Arline Miller, Reinvention Queen

(C) Copyright 2012-2022 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration and Reinvention Queen with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced, if known, to original location/author for credit reference.

MAKING A RECIPE MY OWN VERSION

Do you love to use your imagination in baking and/or cooking? I do and I like to use the things in my pantry to see if they will work in an existing recipe like the one below. I know if you make this recipe the exact way it was created, it would be delicious and I am not knocking on this recipe. Quite the opposite, if I choose a recipe to base a creation on, it means I think it is a winner. I am posting the original recipe to give credit to the source.

This Cinnamon Sour Cream Coffee Cake from Mary Younkin’s new cookbook, The Weekday Lunches & Breakfasts Cookbook, is a recipe you’ll make again and again. With a super moist cake and two layers of cinnamon streusel, this morning treat is hard to resist. It is THE perfect accompaniment to your weekend morning coffee! This recipe was found on 365 Days of Baking & More.

Photo courtesy of 365 Days of Baking & More https://www.365daysofbakingandmore.com/cinnamon-sour-cream-coffee-cake/?fbclid=IwAR17QMToxXhxo9c_TTv9Ihyuj1dDlxJ1sHArU-UXzOG4_ZCEtOQ_OSao_0k

Cinnamon Sour Cream Coffee Cake

This Cinnamon Sour Cream Coffee Cake will be love at first bite! With a super moist cake and delicious cinnamon streusel layers, it’s the perfect treat with your morning coffee!4.62 from 31 votesCourse: Breakfast, DessertCuisine: AmericanKeyword: Coffee Cake, Sour Cream Coffee Cake Prep Time: 20 minutesCook Time: 40 minutesTotal Time: 1 hour Servings: 12 people Calories: 408kcal Author: Lynne Feifer

Ingredients

Cinnamon Streusel

  • 1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar packed
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 3/4 cup butter melted

Cake

  • 1/2 cup butter room temperature
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup sour cream

Instructions

Cinnamon Streusel

  • Combine the flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and butter in a medium bowl. Mix together with a fork until clumps are formed.

Cake

  • Preheat oven to 350° F. and grease a 9 X 9-inch pan with butter.
  • In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and cinnamon. 
  • In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, approximately 3 to 4 minutes. 
  • Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
  • Add the flour mixture.
  • Add the sour cream and mix until well combined. 
  • Pour half of the cake batter into the prepared pan and with an offset spatula, spread to cover the bottom. 
  • Sprinkle half of the cinnamon streusel evenly over the cake batter.
  • Cover with remaining batter and then sprinkle again with the remaining streusel. 
  • Bake for 35-40 minutes, until lightly browned and a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out with moist crumbs. Cool completely before slicing.

Nutrition

Calories: 408kcal | Carbohydrates: 49g | Protein: 4g | Fat: 22g | Saturated Fat: 13g | Cholesterol: 86mg | Sodium: 193mg | Potassium: 89mg | Fiber: 1g | Sugar: 30g | Vitamin A: 695IU | Vitamin C: 0.1mg | Calcium: 52mg | Iron: 1.4mgHave you made this recipe?Please share on Instagram @365daysofbaking or tag #365daysofbaking!

Note from Arline Miller, Reinvention Queen: My changes which allowed me to put this tasty coffee cake together quickly. It didn’t change the recipe taste but with the use of a Moist Yellow Cake Mix, I assembled the coffee cake easily. I made the streusel the same but added a cup of chopped pecans for added flavor.

I used this cake mix instead of the cake portion in the original recipe. I also added the 1/2 cup sour cream in the cake batter as well as 1/2 tsp of nutmeg and 1 tsp. cinnamon. Since I used sour cream, I reduced the 1 cup water to 1/2 cup to equalize the liquid. I baked my cake for 50 minutes to make sure middle was completely cooked. Toothpick tested.
My version of this recipe image. Ooh lala, it is so moist and full of good spice but not overpowering.
You can see it has a great streusel layer inside the cake and top. Toss on some whipped topping and you have a hit. This is wonderful with a good cup of coffee or a glass of milk. Your choice.

My thoughts after trying it is for the baker to make the choice of which way you like it. I am pleased with using the cake mix. I would like to say to all of my readers and followers, learn to reinvent recipes to make them your own or make them exactly like they were planned. It is entirely up to you……. Until we cook or bake again……..Arline Miller, Reinvention Queen

(C) Copyright 2012-2022 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration and Reinvention Queen with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location/author, if known, for credit reference.

When We Eat With Our Minds, Our Body Thrives

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I thought I would repost this message with some great updates on my personal health. Finding out that I can use the principle of small amounts but eating a well rounded mixture of foods, I have lost over 40 pounds, lowered by A1C, my blood pressure and cholesterol in a better normalcy. It works for me, I am happier than I have ever been, and at 72 feel I am mastering my body for the first time instead of eating controlling me.

WE SHOULD EAT WITH OUR MINDS and NOT OUR MOUTHS. I will throw out a personal opinion on why our minds and not our mouths should determine what and when we should eat. Let’s think about this theory. In our lifetime, we will go on several diets or eating plans. They will be varied and when we go on most of these, if not all; we lose weight, right? My thoughts are what causes the initial weight loss and what changes over time in which the loss begins to dwindle or even disappear? I think I have discovered what is the culprit…..Our minds. When our mind becomes disgusted when our eyes show the extra weight in the mirror, it can either decide to avoid thoughts of obesity or decide to do something about it.Let me share this: It is not the diet or eating plan; it is the mind who decides if we are full or because of emotions it decides to allow us to overeat. 

A personal note: Some time ago, my husband Greg and I decided (look at the action of the mind) to not play around with eating healthy but get serious. Since we “decided” and not allowed our mouths to do the talking; we have both lost weight, our emotions are calmer, our motivation is higher and the results are a better attitude as well as feeling better. I had expressed it is not only what we eat; quantity is a big factor. Large amounts of salads or fruit or going the protein maximum will not allow us to lose what we need to eat but add portion control to these great foods aids in the satisfaction of eating without starving. Greg has dropped about 10 pounds during this time and he is now “thinking” about what he eats and how much. Even though I had already decided my health was more important, it has helped me eliminate some items and add some healthier foods. I wanted to share with everyone as too many times, we are guilty of talking the health talk but fail to walk the health walk. Just saying our intentions but not involving some serious mind changing methods; it would only be another diet tried and failed. The real reason any diet fails is the mind is not engaged; only the mouth. Try to think about this post and see if you find yourself retracing your “diet” history. When you wanted to lose; I mean when you really wanted to lose; you lost. When you only played with dieting; you might have lost a few pounds and without thinking; you stuck a cookie or candy or even pizza. Instant sabotage, but I can guarantee you; you didn’t think before you stuffed your mouth with those diet killers. I am not preaching; I am reminiscing about my diet history. When I think about what I eat, I lose. When I impulsively eat; it doesn’t work and off another great, sensational, guaranteed to lose, return to my high school figure, lose all fat non fail plan one more time. Does this ring a bell with you or at least start you thinking? I hope so as we are thinking our food through!

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The following is an excerpt from an article called Mindful Eating-Curbing Stress:

How to Put Mind Over Mouth

Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., president of the board of directors at the Center for Mindful Eating, shares tips on how to break the pattern of stress-induced munching.

By Carin GorrellSep 17, 2007

During a high-stress situation it’s natural to feel pulled toward something that distracts you and makes you feel better fast — and often that something is food, explains Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Indiana State University and president of the board of directors at the Center for Mindful Eating. “Eating can become an automatic, unconscious response to tension and anxiety,” says Kristeller. “But learning to become more mindful in these moments can help you break that pattern of automatic reactivity.” Here’s how.

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU’RE STRESSED. “We don’t always recognize when we’re on edge, and it’s hard to interrupt something if you don’t know you’re in the middle of it,” says Kristeller. Learn to recognize your stress signals, which might include headaches, rapid breathing, or munching when you’re not hungry.

ENJOY WHAT YOU’RE EATING. “If you’re just stuffing food down, you’re not enjoying its tastes, textures, and smells, which is how we derive comfort from food in the first place,” says Kristeller. The more you savor your food, the fewer bites you’ll need to get the comfort you seek.

LISTEN TO YOUR WISDOM FROM PAST EXPERIENCES. Maybe during your last stress-induced binge you devoured a half-dozen doughnuts — and the guilt you felt afterward only added to your stress. This time, take steps to maintain portion control: Pick up a single doughnut at the bakery instead of a dozen.

PAUSE. When you find yourself mindlessly diving into a bag of potato chips, stop and check in with yourself. “Think: Do I really want to eat this? Is it going to be helpful?” suggests Kristeller. Taking this moment to reflect can help interrupt the automatic urge to nosh.

DON’T IGNORE YOUR CRAVINGS. Denying that those cookies are calling your name will only strengthen your desire to have one, but acknowledging your craving creates choice: Do you want to have one cookie now, or wait until the urge is so overpowering that you inhale an entire sleeve of cookies? Recognizing that you have choices puts you in charge, not the craving.

EVALUATE YOUR HUNGER. “Often we don’t distinguish between physical hunger and emotionally driven cravings,” says Kristeller. Rate your physical hunger on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being not hungry at all and 10 being famished. If it’s a 0, 1, or 2, reconsider that pantry raid. If it’s a 9 or 10, eat something healthy first: “If you’re really, really hungry, you’re more vulnerable to overeating,” says Kristeller.

***************************End of excerpt from article.

  On a light, positive note I want to post a writing from this morning to all.  This morning I rose with gratitude in my heart, humility in my soul, and joy in my entire body. God grants us the opportunity to be diligent in our faith and today is a great day to serve Him with love, forgiveness, charity, and kindness.

“When we willingly love,We receive from above.

Life is a wonderful gift.We are given such a lift.

Beauty is joy bestowed.Immense love has flowed.

From the stem of a rose.To the child’s turned up nose.

When we willingly love, God smiles from above.”

(written by Arline Miller 02/17/2016)

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third Party Material is sourced to original location if known for credit reference.

WHILE YOU ARE STANDING THERE DREAMING…..

Update: I wrote this blog message right after I had my book signing for my second book and now I am in the home stretch for the third and final book in the Reflections of Love series. It is titled Riddle Me This, Love or Bliss and it gives the reader all of the pieces of the puzzle and I am very happy with this soon to be published books. The reason for me reposting this blog message is to remind people who have a book in their mind, a song in their heart, a photo no one forgets, or a cake to bake…..Go for it. If tomorrow you woke up and found out you have run out of time to make your dreams a reality, you would have regrets……So no waiting! I am off to write more on the final book and I will give my loyal readers, you may want to go back and read the first two books and when all of the action goes down you will know why.

This is a preview of the 3rd book cover but it is a WIP and will fit the series motif when finished.

WHILE YOU STAND THERE DREAMING, someone else may be living your dream. I recently had my book signing/launch and a thought came to me while I was signing my second book. When I was a very young adult, I made the statement “One day I will write a book.” I thought about it as I became busy with a family and work but kept doing nothing but dreaming about writing a book. Time seemed to not be my friend and my dream was put on the back burner. Remember I was young and full of energy but still I let life run faster than me and my book did not get started until my daughter was in college and I was divorced. Somehow, my dream tried to make me pay attention and I started writing. Now, you may ask, “That was a lot of years ago” and especially, if you know my first book was published in 2015 and I have been remarried for almost 15 years. Again, life ran faster than me.

Finally, one day I was looking through my files on my computer and there it was A Mistress, A Wife staring me in the face. My dream was attempting to WAKE ME UP. I looked at it and decided I had wasted a lot of good years by not completing my dream book. I also decided to FINISH this book and I put into action that I would write on the weekends. At that time, in a period of 6 years, I had only written about 15K words. I wrote with determination and within 1 year of writing only on the weekends, I completed my first novel over 80K words and self published it. Publishing it was never in my dream but once written, I found a new dream and researched and found out what it takes to publish as an Indie writer. It encouraged me and I was not standing just dreaming; I was now living my dream.

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Once I had the taste of good reviews and comments to write another book, I wrote on the weekends but with a lot more serious dedication and book 2 Tell Me Lies; Love Me Still has not only been written but published with the book launch which I referred at the beginning already completed and book sales happening.

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I say all of this not to boast as I apparently haven’t dreamed of being a best seller yet and still have a lot to learn but I am willing to MOVE and not just stand there dreaming. Have you dreamed of a certain goal in life? Have you put off doing something you are talented but scared of rejection? I have read of the most successful authors submitting query letters of almost 200 to get about 185 rejections. So it is not enough to dream; you have to start the living process. It might not be  easy and you may get rejected over and over again, but the significance of the number of rejections this author received is she is now a well known and successful writer. In some past posts, I have added articles on going after your goal but today I will summarize it in a nutshell.

  • Do you have a dream?
  • Do you intend on making your dream come true?
  • Have you made any plans or goals concerning how to accomplish your dream?
  • Do you want to continue dreaming or living your dream?

If you have answered a positive reply to any of these questions, it means you have a dream and you don’t want to be satisfied with standing there only dreaming. It is time to MOVE as I had to do. My thoughts are going in laying out the third book so I am living my dream. I wish you the very best in living your dream and looking forward to hearing from you at the top.

(C) Copyright 2012-2019 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Any third party material is sourced to original location for reference credit.

YOU WANT MY ADVICE UNTIL I GIVE IT

As a blogger I receive a lot of atta girls on certain blog messages in which I tell it like it is, or at least how it is to me. I have received comments however, that I may have been too blunt or critical. I see it as neither. Why? I found out that most people what your advice until you give it to them. If it is not what they want to hear, they feel it was too critical. Okay, so do you want advice or not? Straightforwardness is my way of life. It serves me well to be direct in my thoughts as well as my words and most importantly, my actions. Let’s dive in on why it is important, even if it is not well received, to tell it like it is.

Why You Want to Give (and Receive) Brutally Honest Advice

By Ali Luke on April 27, 2011 

Here is an excerpt from a great article on Brutally Honest Advice (click on underlined text for link for full article.

How to Give Brutally Honest Advice

The flip side, offering brutally honest advice, is obviously much trickier than asking for it.

And as we will see in the next section, no matter how valuable brutal honesty can be, it’s not always the best approach. But it usually is, and here’s how to maximize your chances of getting a positive reaction when you offer it.

#1: Tell them you’ll be honest

Let’s say a friend, colleague or client comes to you, outlines their latest idea or shows you part of your work in progress, and eagerly asks, “So, what do you think?”

You want to be honest with them. So tell them that. Say “I’m going to be completely honest with you,” or ask them “Is it okay if I’m totally honest?” Make the terms of engagement clear, right from the start.

#2: Start and end with the good

Even if you think your friend’s idea is pretty unworkable, there’ll be something good to say. Whenever you’re offering feedback, it’s good to start and end on a positive note. (The Toastmasters do this with their speaker evaluations.)

If something is basically good but has a few flaws, make this clear right at the start. Say “I think this is a really solid business plan” or “I loved reading this blog post.” Don’t ever assume that people will knowthat their work is fundamentally sound: you need to tell them this, explicitly.

#3: Be constructive in your criticism

Don’t offer advice like “No-one will ever want to buy from that sales page” or “Your ebook will make people fall asleep.” Point out specific problems and, if you can, suggest solutions:

“The design makes the page look a bit scammy. Perhaps you could cut out the yellow highlighter?”

“The writing style seems very academic. Perhaps you could talk to the reader directly, using “you”, and bring in some personal anecdotes?”

#4: Tread very cautiously when offering unsolicited advice

Let’s say you spot that your friend has created a website where she’s selling handmade furniture. You might have all sorts of ideas about how she could improve everything from the site design to the shopping cart software.

If she’s not asked for your help, though, proceed with extreme caution. Few of us like to get brutally honest advice when we’ve not requested any feedback at all. If you’re in a situation where you feel like you absolutely, positively must speak up, you might want to check with a mutual friend first…

#5: Accept that they have the right to make their own decisions and mistakes

I was recently reading a thread on reddit with a man who was planning to speak up at the “speak up now or forever hold your peace” part of his brother’s wedding.

The reason? He thought his brother’s fiancee was not the right woman for him.

Now, the first obvious problem is that you should bring up something like this before the wedding, not during the ceremony.

But the man did that. No less than 5 times. And his brother heard the brutally honest advice, and still insisted on marrying his fiancee.

That would be a good point to stop and forever hold his peace. Because no matter how convinced you are that you are right and your friend is making a mistake, they have the right to make their own decisions.

So when you offer brutally honest advice, understand that your friend might not follow it. That’s okay. You can only make sure that they have all the relevant information when making their decision. The actual decision is up to them.

Once you’ve dispensed your brutally honest advice and your friend has acknowledged it, move on. This will help you remain a valuable advisor instead of turning into a pestering nag.

When Brutal Honesty Is Not The Best Approach

With all of that in mind, brutal honesty isn’t always the best approach.

When I (Vlad) did my first ever prepared speech at Toastmasters, I was, frankly, atrocious. My structure wasn’t very clear. I spoke too fast and mumbled. I fidgeted around. And the list goes on and on.

But that’s okay. Most people suck when they try giving their first speech in front of an audience. And the whole point of a place like Toastmasters is to get together and practice in a safe, friendly environment.

And so the feedback I received consisted mostly of pointing out the things I did right, with one or two points for improvement.

This helped reinforce the things I did right, and gave me something to focus on improving next. And it kept me motivated, instead of bringing me down by listing the dozens of things I did wrong.

So, sometimes, helping and encouraging your friends really is more important than pointing out every flaw in what they’re doing.

But next time someone asks you for feedback, or next time you need advice on something big and important, ask yourself whether it’s a good opportunity to practice brutal honesty. If money, health or relationships are on the line, it’s generally a good idea to speak up rather than to keep your doubts to yourself.

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I thought about giving advice and I am not sure we should freely give advice and my reasoning is how many people actually take the advice you give them. I feel people hope you are going to agree with the decision they have already made in their minds. To prove this point, how many times have you offered sound advice only to find out the person did the exact opposite. How many times have we actually taken another’s advice, very few times, right?

LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by considering if it is worth the effort to give advice, solicited or unsolicited to someone who is probably not going to heed the advice given. Just sayin’

(C) Copyright 2012-2019 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location if known, for credit reference.

CAN I DIET WITHOUT A DIET?

TODAY THE WORDS are I WANT A DIET WHICH IS NO DIET. In this, my second post about eating, I will gladly put it out there. I want moderation but not elimination. There has been diet after diet which preach elimination. Let’s look at some of them and see what they want me to live without and then I want to share what is working better for me. I am not a health expert and do not profess to be anything but an average person who loves different kinds of food. The food groups contain something in each one I like to eat. You might feel the same.  

One thing to keep in mind: As quoted in Bitesized Challenge, Programs claiming weight loss of more than 2 lbs per week are simply unhealthy crash diets. Weight is gained back 99% of the time.   But yet, we go from one miracle diet to another. I am a witness and I can preach on this subject as I claim experience in most of them at one time or another.    This Medical News Today information article Written by Christian Nordqvist, Knowledge centerLast updated: Thursday 1 October 2015 details on the most popular diets according to three criteria: how many articles there are around about these diets/lifestyles, how popular they seem to be generally, and how often we receive feedback on them.Contents of this article:Atkins DietThe Zone DietVegetarian DietVegan DietWeight Watchers DietSouth Beach DietRaw Food DietMediterranean DietFor Details on each diet, you can click on each one and you will see the specifics of each diet.This complete article, which is a great read, can be found on http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/5847.php   How many of these popular diets have you tried? I personally can say 5 and I am still overweight. If you do some diligent studying, you will find a common thread between most of them and it is deprivation of some foods. I asked yesterday, “Are you really NEVER going to eat a donut for the rest of your life?”    Here is my tip for today and it may not work for everybody (especially for people with diseases or health conditions which mandate restriction) and here is the absolute truth….NO PLAN works for everybody. We have to begin to take charge of our individual bodies and not fall for the miracle plans but pay attention to what foods cause us to bloat or to gain weight. Some people can eat more carbs, some can eat more healthy fats, and yes, I have a sister who can eat sweets all of the time and she has never had as much problem maintaining a good weight but she has health issues.    Here goes what I have found works better for me: I do not deprive myself of any food group but I limit the quantity of any of the carbs, sugars, and yes, fats. I make the larger portion of protein, but keep my meats palm size (we have heard this before, right). What I can’t do; but if I do it, I pay for it is allowing my portions to become large. Supersize means we get supersize! This makes sense doesn’t it? If you are going to eat a burger, make it fresh and small size with moderate portions of condiments. Just cutting portions and eating healthier, fresh cooked with more organic and non processed foods will start you on the track to eating for health.   I made this true comment yesterday, “When I started to eat for my health and not to lose a pants size; I accomplished both.”  With the holidays behind us, I am happy to report I didn’t gain a pound and kept my glucose in normal ranges for me. I used my 1 heaping Tablespoon of the NO-NOs theory. I used to feel I couldn’t even taste any dressing, any sweet potato crunch, any mac-n-cheese, etc. Now, I choose three of the NO-NOs and take 1 full Tablespoon, yes heaping, of each. The rest of my meal is devoted to palm sized protein, and a bigger portion of good carbs of veggies. Since I had dressing, I found it easy to leave off the bread. I had dessert but used the heaping T. of my delicious banana pudding (a good tip on this is to find a very small bowl and place the dessert in it (it will look like more LOL). I took very small bites to cherish each morsel and when I got up from the table, I had not eaten nearly as much as prior years and felt wonderful. I didn’t feel DEPRIVED and this is the key to maintaining eating correctly for longer periods. Maybe I am wrong, but feeling deprived is the biggest sabotage tool in the world.   

Until we eat again and read again…….Arline MillerHEALTHY BITES was created with healthy recipes I have found and some I created to help in eating for our health. Good things will come to those who keep the mindset; I am worth it! Please click on the name of HEALTHY BITES above and see the good way to eat.

(C) Copyright Arline Miller 2012-2019 All rights and permissions for content. Referenced material properly sourced.

BRING ON THE GREENS FOR ST. PATRICK’S DAY

For the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, I decided to pull up a favorite blog post since I love greens. This is a repeat of a message from a few years ago but I think you will enjoy it.
TODAY THE WORDS are COOKING GREENS. You are reading the words of a person who loves to eat greens. I cooked greens yesterday and any time I eat them, I am brought back to a special memory.Mustard greens, turnip greens, collards, cabbage, kale are all good to me and this brings me back to my Step Mom, Martha. My Dad had a massive stroke which paralyzed him on his right side. He was able to sit in his lift chair by a lift which he was lifted from his bed and pushed to the chair and lowered into a sitting position or more like a reclining position for the day. I lived a distance away and would travel to spend some time on the weekend with Daddy and Martha during the day and at night at my Mother’s house in the same town. I tell you this to get to the cooking greens theme of the message. How many of you have prepared greens to cook?

It is quite a job to “look over” the greens and then go through several washes to remove any sand, dirt, or any debris in them. There are several methods, but I can assure you, each method is still time consuming. There is usually meat to season them; although more and more people are using other seasonings for health reasons. Martha, barring all others, could cook greens better than any other person I have ever known. Her greens were so delicious I could eat them cold; that’s right, cold. She always fried pork chops and other great side dishes with the greens. This had to be a full day of preparation and do remember she was taking care of my Dad at the same time.

Now for the deeper thought…...She waited for me to smile at the first bite and it seemed to give her as much joy as it did me eating it or even more if that was possible. It was tiring for her but she made me feel so special when she cooked me greens. When my visit was through and they were telling me to be careful on my trip home and gave me my container of greens to go with me; I love them, cherished my time with them and I was so thankful for Martha’s sacrifice and love. She loved Daddy and she loved her family and that always included us. Great restaurants are so enjoyable; Martha’s greens were true love! God wants us to “cook greens” for others. I am using a metaphor as God wants us to do whatever we can to help others; make others feel special; be charitable; be loving and kind. Today and every day, may we borrow a little spirit from Martha who is in heaven with Daddy, and “cook up some greens” for someone we love or a stranger we don’t know but needs our help. (DEDICATED TO MARTHA THOMAS LOTT, our STEPMOTHER)
I have attempted to add health benefits when applicable and here is an excerpt from an article I found on the health benefits of greens (turnip greens, mustard greens and collards) If you go to the link, there are instructions on how to prepare. Enjoy some good eating:http://www.livestrong.com/article/85263-stay-eating-collard-mustard-/

How to Stay Healthy Eating Collard, Mustard & Turnip GreensLast Updated: Jul 10, 2015 | By Daryn EllerHow to Stay Healthy Eating Collard, Mustard & Turnip GreensTurnip greens growing in a field. Photo Credit Tom Brakefield/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Collard, mustard and turnip greens are vegetable royalty in the South—and for good reason. All three are in the cruciferous family of vegetables that the American Institute for Cancer Research reports might help defend against cancer. The three greens are also rich in beta-carotene, vitamin C, folate and iron. Collards, which taste like a cross between cabbage and kale, are especially high in calcium. Mustard and turnip greens have a sharper bite than collards and provide a nice dose of vitamin K, a nutrient important for bone health and blood clotting.
Paula Deen, the guru of Southern Cooking to many of us, knows how to put the hurt on a good pot of greens so I thought I would include a recipe from her on Food Network:

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Collard Greens Recipe by Paula Deen
You can go to the link and get the House Seasoning ingredients and enjoy some GREEN today.

(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2019 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third Party Material is sourced to original location, if known, for credit reference.


ANYONE Can Blog

via ANYONE Can Blog

ANYONE Can Blog

Blog article based on reply from Cristian Mihai on Jordan Peters’ blog. I like giving proper credit on content referenced.

The third blog post devoted to those who desire to blog. Is it for you? Do you have the craving to dip into the sauce of blogging? Join me as I repost Jordan Peters great article ANYONE Can Blog for vital information while considering creating your own blog. Please join me and Jordan on the blog and learn the ins and outs of blogging. #blog #JordanPeters #amwriting #bloggers

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