How to Manage Your Home When Moving Into Assisted Living…Guest Blogger

This year 2022, I am encouraging informative articles for applicable issues/concerns for all of us. Please allow me to welcome Andrea for our first guest blogger on Sipping Cups of Inspiration.

Andrea Needham is the creator and editor at Elders Day. A lifelong writer, she created her website to share information and resources with other seniors who love living it up as they age. Andrea believes our golden years don’t have to be a time to slow down, and she looks forward to sharing the many health-boosting, fulfilling activities and experiences that are perfect for aging adults.

Please welcome Andrea to my blog as our first guest blogger of 2022.

Image from Unsplash

How to Manage Your Home When Moving Into Assisted Living

Are you an older adult making the move to assisted living? Congratulations! Assisted living is a great way to get the care you need and deserve. However, there is a big question to deal with – what do you do with your house? There are several factors to consider, and finances may be resting heavily on your mind. Here, Sipping Cups of Inspiration shares the main options available to you and the financial considerations that come with each.

Ask For Help

If you’re unsure how long you’ll be away from home or just want a safety net to fall back on, you could ask loved ones to help take care of your property. While you’re in assisted living, ask a close friend or family member to come check on your property every once in a while and keep it functioning. This option is ideal for those who want to retain their home for future generations or other usages. However, you will still need to pay for the associated homeownership expenses, which can be significant.

Sell Your Home

The logic of selling your home is truly compelling. It is an easy way to get a lump sum for your property, which can help fund the costs associated with assisted living. Not to mention, you’re not going to have to spend time, effort, and money managing the property and getting it maintained. According to Edgewood Health, many seniors also find themselves in need of major decluttering, so selling your home outright is a great way to get started on your organizing efforts. Before you sell your home, be sure to do your due diligence on the latest home prices and trends in your area. You can also use this sales proceeds calculator to get an overall estimate. This will ensure you get the best price for your property!

Rent Your Home

According to the U.S. Census, American landlords make over $97,000 a year in rent. Thus, getting into the renting business can be a significant money minter. Choosing to rent is a great way to gain consistent monthly income, which can help offset the costs of homeownership and your living expenses. However, renting your home does require sustained effort. You’ll need to advertise your listing, screen potential tenants, perform rent collection and manage your property. That’s a lot to do, especially if you have mobility concerns. Hiring a property management company can help reduce some of the work, so that is a route to consider as well.

Leave It Be

If none of the options above work out for you, leaving your home empty may be your best bet. Leaving it unoccupied in the state it is in may make the most sense for your situation; however, it is typically the least desirable option. Why? Well, you’ll have steady bills coming in that you’ll need to pay. Moreover, an unoccupied home runs the risk of vandalism or theft more than occupied homes. Lastly, you’re not making any financial profit by following this course of action! Thus, if you find yourself seriously considering this option, gather insight and advice from a realtor or trusted family members for the best course of action ahead.

Moving homes is stressful enough, but moving into assisted living can be a significant life change to boot. The last thing you want is trouble with your home during an already challenging time. The good news is, you have lots of options available to you when it comes to your home. So take your time, consider your decision carefully, and your big to-do will be checked off in no time.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to stay awhile and browse the Sipping Cups of Inspiration blog for more informative content!

A Walk in The Past…Arline Miller with my Mother in the ’70s when I didn’t think too much about her becoming a Senior with a home to consider what to do.

Andrea Needham, Thanks for this vital and informative article and for all of my followers and readers, please comment if you found this blog interesting and let’s show support for Elders Day. I want to invite other bloggers to message me with your ideas for a blog you would like to be a guest blogger. I encourage positive blogs with no profanity and Sipping Cups of Inspiration allows only quality content from verified sources…..Arline L Miller, blogger and author.

(C) Copyright 2012-2022 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location/author, if known, for credit references.

Today Is An End But A New Beginning Is Beginning

As this year closes out tonight, it is the beginning of a new year. As we get ready to watch the ball drop, and for us DAWG fans we hope there is not any ball dropping but a WIN. Many people will celebrate with parties but hopefully they take precautions to avoid the variant virus. What is your mind going to do tonight? This is the focus of my last blog post for 2021.

Let’s do a review of this past year:

  • What is your biggest accomplishment?
  • What was the biggest failure?
  • Did you make your goals or did you not set any goals?
  • Did you save money or go farther in debt?
  • Have you thought about your health’s status?
  • Did you further and develop your career?
  • How many times did you reach out to help others?
  • Are you happier or sadder at the end of this year?

I ask these questions to begin my topic Is This An End or Is It A New Beginning ? In my life, I have found out that yesterday’s failures can lead to tomorrow’s successes if I use the lessons learned to overcome any future obstacles. I am sure that most of the successful people are students of learning from mistakes.

Photo courtesy of Good Housekeeping

Now let’s look at tomorrow’s possibilities:

  • Plan on what you want to accomplish this year by setting a goal for finances, education, health, relationships, careers, and/or retirement.
  • Evaluate any failures and why they happened, take responsibility for any action which could have the cause, and calculate smart decisive moves to avoid failure, and forgive yourself and move forward.
  • If you cannot make goals, research and learn how to set realistic and dream goals. Sometimes it requires dream goals to push us to make realistic goals come to full rendition. If for whatever reason, you surpass the realistic goals, you might see the dream goal become closer and even realistic.
  • Saving money, making sound investments, will reduce stress and make your financial goals more realistic. Eliminate debt by setting goals and sitting down and figure out how to stop unnecessary spending and place that money to paying more than the minimum. Example: I decided No More Credit Card debt several years ago and I started with the card with the lowest balance and doubled up the payments. Once that card was paid off, I took the same amount of money in addition to the regular payment to the next lowest balance card. I used this system and I can say we only use our cards if we can pay the full balance off in three months time; if we cannot budget that; we don’t use the cards. You can do this; we did and we are not wealthy people but we are now credit card balance free. The three month paid in full is a great way to use credit as most purchases have a no interest time frame such as 6 months.
  • New beginnings are technically endings of previous actions. Your health is the biggest asset you have in existence. It provides you with the ability to earn money working. It is essential this is vital to your plans of any kind. Careers, hobbies, relationships, and other endeavors depend on you having the energy and health to achieve success in all of life’s tasks. Over indulging in eating incorrectly, substances, and inactivity will defeat your health status. Learn to take care of your health as once it disappears, so does your productivity level.
  • In whatever career you are in or want to pursue, be specific in your goals but take the time to realize what will be the outcome of your decision. Are there retirement benefits? This is crucial but if the field you choose doesn’t come with long term benefits but offer immediate income revenue, set up your own retirement plan.
  • If whatever you do, or however small amount you can give to others, by all means pay it forward. The reward of giving is far more important than sitting around and feeling sorry for someone and not discounting prayer but do what you can for that person if possible and still pray.
  • Decide your mental state now. Are you happy or sad? If you are happy, that is great and build on that happiness. Never take happiness or loved ones for granted. If you are sad, sit down and think about what is making your sad. Is it finances, relationship, work, lack of faith, health, or addictions of any kind including food or substance? If you don’t know what is making you sad, you can’t fix it. Denial is not a solution and the sooner you know, the sooner you can move to the solution. We all deserve to be happy but we can self sabotage our happiness. Feeling sorry is not a solution for any condition. Everyone has a story, everyone is dealing with something, and everyone can overcome or get help to overcome anything if you are willing. If you are willing, by the end of next year, you can say I am happy.
Dreamstime.com (photo courtesy)

Google search provided this Happy New Year Image

I leave all of you with this message of love. I cannot solve anyone’s problems. I can however work on myself to become the best I can be with all of my flaws and failures along with all of my successes. I choose to be happy, positive, full of hope and dreams. I feel confident you can be, and pray that you are happy already. LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE AND LOVE LIVE TO THE FULLEST by filling your life with strong goals and a positive attitude. Happy New Year to All.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced, if known, to original location/author for credit reference.

GRIEF, IS IT A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD?

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GRIEF, IS IT A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD? Recently, we have lost a very dear loved one and some of my close friends have experienced the same loss. Emotions have run high and even though some of the departed have lived full and happy lives, we grieve their departures. As so many life events start my blogging mind to turning, the thought of how we handle grief or how it handles us makes for an interesting blog topic.

grief
ɡrēf/
noun
  1. deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.
    “she was overcome with grief”
    synonyms: sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, heartache, heartbreak, agony, torment, affliction, suffering, woe, desolation, dejection, despair; More
    informal trouble or annoyance.
    “we were too tired to cause any grief”
    synonyms: trouble, annoyance, bother, irritation, vexation, harassment

    This is the definition of grief as Google search defines the word. What I would like for all of my blog followers and readers to consider is “IS GRIEF ONLY THE MENTIONED DESCRIPTIONS?” or “IS GRIEF A MULTI-COMPLEXITY OF A LOT MORE EMOTIONS THAN THIS LIST?”

    sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, heartache, heartbreak, agony, torment, affliction, suffering, woe, desolation, dejection, despair

    Of course, emotions of this nature are part of the grieving period and I feel confident most of you at some point after a significant loss of a person have felt most or all of these emotions.  One other emotion can easily be anger, common when the death is unexpected or a tragic death. These emotions are one side of the double edged sword of grief. Now let’s look at the other side of this emotional sword.

    woman-grieving-loss

     

    What about the focus of being positive about a loved one’s passing? I am sure that you are wondering how this is possible. The following excerpt is from an article which focuses on healing and how being positive can help in this process.

     

    DEALING WITH LOSS: 11 steps to a more positive outlook after losing a loved one

    The bottom line is that in order for you to heal after a loss, you must at least attempt to focus more on the positive aspects around you. This isn’t always easy, especially after losing a loved one! However, it’s important to understand that your main thoughts are creating the dominant feelings you are having, not the other way around. So it makes sense to say that when you deliberately change your thoughts from negative ones to positive ones, you will begin to feel better as well.

    But how can you focus on the positive and not focus on “what is” as you are going through the grieving process? Here are some small, but very significant steps you can take to help you to change your thoughts and feel better at this very difficult time.

    1.  The first step is to notice how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling badly, chances are you’re thinking negative thoughts. If you’re feeling happy, you’re probably thinking good thoughts. The more powerful your thoughts are, whether they’re good or bad, the more they’ll affect your feelings.
    2.  Again, the key is to deliberately try to think more powerful, positive thoughts. However, if you feel you’re just not able to think positive thoughts, try playing the “Yes, but” game.  That is, after you think a negative thought, follow it with, “Yes, but,” and add a statement of something good that came out of it. For example, you may be thinking of how much you miss your loved one. Then follow that thought with, “Yes, but we had a wonderful life together.” And then continue with even more positive thoughts, such as, “I’m so grateful he or she was in my life.” If you can, follow that with some funny memories you have of your loved one. Then continue to think of more and more positive aspects and memories. In this way, you’ll be focusing on your love and the good times you had with your loved one, instead of the absence of him or her.
    3. Speak to others about the good times you and your loved one had together. You’ll be so surprised how this helps you to feel better. You’re thinking about him or her anyways, so bring those great thoughts to the surface!
    4. Ask your loved one for guidance as to what you need to do now.  Then make sure to listen to your gut feelings and act upon them. You should receive answers and wonderful words of wisdom that come as thoughts and feelings.
    5. Focus on finding the right people who will help you to heal. You will see how the universe will then work in ways to make that happen! They may show up in your life unexpectedly; friends or relatives may talk about those who have helped them; you may read about local healers in the newspaper; the list can go on and on. Just make sure to pay attention to all those who are coming into your awareness. Then trust your instincts about whether or not these people will be able to help you.
    6. Pray! Ask God and the angels to help you. When you pray, expect the help that you’re seeking. Instead of begging God, thank him, even before your prayer has been answered. For example, say, “Thank you so much for helping me to feel better.” In other words, have complete faith that your prayer is answered now—not some time in the future.
    7. Meditate! Praying is talking to God, but meditating is listening to him. As in any relationship, it’s important to listen as well as speak. When you quiet your thoughts and meditate, you’re in a better position to feel your connection with God, the angels and your deceased loved ones.
    8. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. Make sure they’re in the present tense and you feel good when you say them. Some examples are:  It’s OK for me to heal; I’m able to feel my loved one whenever I choose; I always receive signs and messages from my loved one; I choose to feel better today; It’s good for me to pamper myself as I heal; I discover new strengths in myself every day; God is healing me more and more every day; and I’m willing to be happy again.
    9. Try to maintain peace in all of your relationships and in the situations around you. Make a point of being with those who lift your spirit and refrain from doing anything that overwhelms you.
    10. Pamper yourself and do anything that makes you happy. Sometimes that may mean just petting your dog or cat, going for a walk, listening to your favourite music, going out with friends, sitting quietly, reading a good book, or anything else that puts you in a better feeling place.
    11. Have an attitude of gratitude. Really take notice of all the good things in your life each day. If you have time, sit down and write a list of all of your blessings. Then, whenever you begin to feel sad, make sure to take out that list and redirect your attention to these positive aspects once again.

    In order for you to feel better, it’s very important that you begin to focus on how your deceased loved ones lived, not how they died, on the blessings in your life, on the happy times, on the things you love, and on positive goals ahead of you. At first it may seem very difficult to do, given all that has happened, but after awhile of deliberately changing your thoughts to more positive ones, it will get easier and easier. Writing down your blessings, goals and memories is a great way to start. Repeating affirmations throughout the day also helps immensely. It doesn’t matter how you choose to do it, just that you make the choice to feel better! Remember, according to the Law of Attraction, you get what you think about most of the time. So, it makes sense to begin to focus on more positive, loving thoughts throughout each day.

     

Berta

I now come to why I felt this was an important message. While I see people surrounding me fearing grief, I also see another approach, a more positive one to grief. Yesterday, we attended what I would consider the sweetest funeral I have ever attended, my husband’s sister Berta Davis who was 84 when she died. I know her passing wasn’t from a sudden death but developed over the past couple of years of watching a wonderful lady who experienced a full life encounter a life which required a lack of mobility. As both ministers spoke at the service, they didn’t dwell on the grief but how she loved travel, cooking, enjoying a good meal, working with children, and most importantly how she loved her God and family. They told humorous tales and sweet memories. As much as we will miss her, they reminded us that she lived her life the way she wanted to live and she had made the decisions of how she wanted to die on her terms without machines and feeding assistance. Berta, without knowing it, inspired those of us sitting there as to the importance of living life to the fullest. She chose to live in her faith by her heart desiring a closer walk with her Lord. She chose to enjoy food and was a magnificent cook and baker. She chose to be generous to people and her church. She chose to be a teacher and mentor to children. She chose to devote her love and kindness to those she loved and touched strangers’ hearts as well. She chose to travel and explore and even take risks. I remember the minister saying she had suffered great personal losses and she grieved. What really spoke to my heart was even though she grieved, she chose to keep living and loving.

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For those of you who have also suffered losses through death and even divorce, I want to give you a thought to ponder. In all of the topics of her life, they mentioned all of the choices Berta made but they didn’t dwell on what she did for a living even though Berta was a well respected medical lab specialist for over 30+ years. That was not what she chose to be recognized at the end of her life. It was all of the love, service, charitable acts, adventures, and challenges of living beyond the loss of her lifetime sweetheart who was her only husband and the early death of one of her children. I hope you keep it in mind that it is okay to grieve but do not live to grieve but live to live and love.

LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST BY LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT EVEN WHEN THE DOUBLE EDGED SWORD OF GRIEF SWINGS BY YOUR LIFE.

(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to the original location if known. Photos are not exclusive property of Sipping Cups but are sourced if known.

 

This blog is dedicated to Berta Smith Davis and respectfully we will grieve our loss of this wonderful, sweet lady but we will smile and laugh too. She would have wanted us to do that very thing.

Obituary for Berta M. Davis
Funeral services for Berta M. Davis, 84, of Thomasville will be 2 PM, Monday February 19, 2018 at First Newark Baptist Church, where she was a member. Rev. Steve Brooks and Rev. Mike Keown will officiate and interment will be held at Laurel Hill Cemetery. Mrs. Davis passed away February 16, 2018 at Camellia Gardens. Born January 25, 1934 in Ashburn, Georgia, she was the daughter of the late Henry Grady Smith and Ruby Wynn Smith. She was married to Donald Davis, Sr. for 38 years, who preceded her in death. She retired from working in the lab at Archbold Memorial Hospital. Mrs. Davis was the past director of the Thomas County Baptist Association WMU for 12 years and past director of the library at her church. Her hobbies included ceramics and quilting. Survivors include son, Donald E. Davis Jr. and wife Kim of Boston; grandchildren, Donald E. Davis III, Caleb Russell Davis, and Lauren Grace Davis; brothers Gordon Clyatt and wife Martha of Cairo and Greg Miller and wife Arlene of Tifton, numerous nieces and nephews and her best friend for 62 years, JoAnne Zeigler of Thomasville. She was preceded in death by her daughter, Barbara Denise Jones; Brother Gerald Smith; Sister Dee Crutchfield. The family will receive friends on Sunday, February 18, 2018 from 4 PM until 6 PM at the funeral home. Memorial contributions may be sent to Wounded Warrior, PO Box 758517, Topeka, Kansas 66675-8517 or the Baptist Children’s Home, 8415 Buck Lake Rd, Tallahassee, FL 32317. Guests are invited to sign the online register at www.allenfh.com.

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