WHAT’S UP WITH THE JACK-O’LANTERN?

THIS IS A REPOST FROM 2016 but I thought it was an interesting post so I decided you might like to read it too.       WHAT’S UP WITH THE JACK-O’-LANTERN? A young man, Blake Lott posted on Facebook When and why did it become a social tradition for people to sit around a table and carve spooky vegetables together? 🎃 👻 Did you know the original jack o’ lantern was actually a turnip ”     “”

I thought, “How interesting are those questions!” I decided to do a little digging and I hope everyone enjoys this post about our pumpkin carving tradition which is really not American but is tracked back to Ireland. I found this article on the legend:

THE LEGEND OF “STINGY JACK”People have been making jack-o’-lanterns at Halloween for centuries. The practice originated from an Irish myth about a man nicknamed “Stingy Jack.” According to the story, Stingy Jack invited the Devil to have a drink with him. True to his name, Stingy Jack didn’t want to pay for his drink, so he convinced the Devil to turn himself into a coin that Jack could use to buy their drinks. Once the Devil did so, Jack decided to keep the money and put it into his pocket next to a silver cross, which prevented the Devil from changing back into his original form. Jack eventually freed the Devil, under the condition that he would not bother Jack for one year and that, should Jack die, he would not claim his soul. The next year, Jack again tricked the Devil into climbing into a tree to pick a piece of fruit. While he was up in the tree, Jack carved a sign of the cross into the tree’s bark so that the Devil could not come down until the Devil promised Jack not to bother him for ten more years.Did You Know?The original jack-o’-lanterns were carved from turnips, potatoes or beets.Soon after, Jack died. As the legend goes, God would not allow such an unsavory figure into heaven. The Devil, upset by the trick Jack had played on him and keeping his word not to claim his soul, would not allow Jack into hell. He sent Jack off into the dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the coal into a carved-out turnip and has been roaming the Earth with ever since. The Irish began to refer to this ghostly figure as “Jack of the Lantern,” and then, simply “Jack O’Lantern.”In Ireland and Scotland, people began to make their own versions of Jack’s lanterns by carving scary faces into turnips or potatoes and placing them into windows or near doors to frighten away Stingy Jack and other wandering evil spirits. In England, large beets are used. Immigrants from these countries brought the jack o’lantern tradition with them when they came to the United States. They soon found that pumpkins, a fruit native to America, make perfect jack-o’-lanterns.

Article Details: History of the Jack O’ Lantern  

I have heard a discussion back and forth whether Christians should or should not celebrate Halloween. This is a personal decision and I leave it to individuals but I decided to do a little digging on the holiday itself. Here is a definition from Wikipedia on Halloween:  From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Halloween&oldid=745513786
This article is about the observance. For other uses, see Halloween (disambiguation).

“All Hallows’ Eve” redirects here. For other uses, see All Hallows’ Eve (disambiguation).

Halloween, or Hallowe’en (a contraction of All Hallows’ Evening),[5] also known as Allhalloween,[6] All Hallows’ Eve,[7] or All Saints’ Eve,[8] is a celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It begins the three-day observance of Allhallowtide,[9] the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed.[10][11]
It is widely believed that many Halloween traditions originated from Celtic harvest festivals which may have pagan roots, particularly the Gaelic festival Samhain, and that this festival was Christianized as Halloween.[1][7][12][13][14][15] Some academics, however, support the view that Halloween began independently as a solely Christian holiday.[1][16][17][18][19]
Halloween activities include trick-or-treating (or the related guising), attending Halloween costume parties, decorating, carving pumpkins into jack-o’-lanterns, lighting bonfires, apple bobbing and divination games, playing pranks, visiting haunted attractions, telling scary stories and watching horror films. In many parts of the world, the Christian religious observances of All Hallows’ Eve, including attending church services and lighting candles on the graves of the dead, remain popular,[20][21][22] although elsewhere it is a more commercial and secular celebration.[23][24][25] Some Christians historically abstained from meat on All Hallows’ Eve,[26][27] a tradition reflected in the eating of certain foods on this vigil day, including apples, potato pancakes and soul cakes.[27][28][29]

********************************************************************************

I thought it would be interesting to find out more about Trick or Treating tradition’s history too. Why not? Here is an article from Smithsonian.com (link below article)

 It’s almost that time of year when underaged kids get into costume and traipse around the neighborhood ringing doorbells and begging for treats. When you think about it, trick or treating is kind of a weird thing. Where did it come from anyway?

Today I Found Out discovered that the practice began with the Celtic tradition of celebrating the end of the year by dressing up as evil spirits. The Celts believed that, as we moved from one year to the next, the dead and the living would overlap, and demons would roam the earth again. So dressing up as demons was a defense mechanism. If you encountered a real demon roaming the Earth, they would think you were one of them.Fast forward to when the Catholic Church was stealing everybody’s holidays and trying to convert them. They turned the demon dress-up party into “All Hallows Eve,” “All Soul’s Day,” and “All Saints Day” and had people dress up as saints, angels and still a few demons. Today I Found Out writes:

As for the trick or treating, or “guising” (from “disguising”), traditions, beginning in the Middle-Ages, children and sometimes poor adults would dress up in the aforementioned costumes and go around door to door during Hallowmas begging for food or money in exchange for songs and prayers, often said on behalf of the dead.  This was called “souling” and the children were called “soulers”.You might think that this practice then simply migrated along with Europeans to the United States. But trick or treating didn’t re-emerge until the 1920s and 1930s. It paused for a bit during World War II because of sugar rations, and it’s now back in full force.The term “trick or treat” dates back to 1927. Today I Found Out explains:The earliest known reference to “trick or treat”, printed in the November 4, 1927 edition of the Blackie, Alberta Canada Herald, talks of this,Hallowe’en provided an opportunity for real strenuous fun. No real damage was done except to the temper of some who had to hunt for wagon wheels, gates, wagons, barrels, etc., much of which decorated the front street. The youthful tormentors were at back door and front demanding edible plunder by the word “trick or treat” to which the inmates gladly responded and sent the robbers away rejoicing.The British hate Halloween, apparently. In 2006, a survey found that over half of British homeowners turn off their lights and pretend not to be home on Halloween. Yet another reason by the United States is happy to be free from British rule. No funs.

          Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/the-history-of-trick-or-treating-is-weirder-than-you-thought-79408373/#vWJK4Mu5ro0d2pUI.99 Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

*********************************************************************************
All in all, Halloween is on its way, whether you carve the Jack-O-Lantern, Trick or Treat. You can choose to participate or not. I find it interesting to read the history and how these traditions have come about. However you decide is fine with me. I am 67 years old and I have never felt an evil feeling about Halloween and over the years my husband and I have enjoyed the small children coming to our door with their little costumes yelling Trick or Treat. May your holidays be bright and cheery.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline L Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. All third party material sourced to original location for credit.

REPEAT AFTER ME, I DID THIS TO MYSELF

As a person who has lost 42 pounds over a span of years, I have learned some tips. One of the most beneficial to me is not to deprive but thrive on smaller portions of healthy choices while allowing myself a few bites, not portions, of all food groups. I posted this blog post several years and thought you might find it interesting now. Here is the original post:

Quite often, I post blog messages that apply to myself mainly, but true to form, others jump in and comment, this is me too. The focus of today’s message is a blunt look at how we humans remain in denial on many issues. We have a desire to stay healthy, look attractive, succeed at whatever work or career we choose or is placed at our door. We strive to have a wonderful relationship with our spouse, lover, sweetheart, and also our families and friends…….Or do we? Uh, oh, I feel the crunch of me stepping on toes but please know I am feeling the pain as this is a selfie message so I feel ya!

DREAMSTIME.COM (photo courtesy)

Let us begin the recognition of a stumbling block to our happiness by answering some hard questions:

  1. Who do I blame when I gain weight?
  2. Do I actually realize who is at fault when I fail at goals?
  3. Do I feel I have to justify my actions or throw blame at my parents, my life, God, or family/friends?
  4. Do I review my actions in any matter which caused me to succeed or fail to better future actions/results?
  5. Am I the first one to thank another person who has encouraged or do I feel they overstepped their boundary?

Can you see where I am going with this train of thought? Too many times, we want the denial excuse rather than make the appropriate changes we could make to change outcomes. This morning, very well timed, a post I wrote on Facebook seven years ago showed up and it is worth reading:

Today is a good day to think back over life and ponder over things that have happened. What would we change, what we have said differently to someone if we had a “do over”, what would we do about our occupations, would we live where we live now, would we go for a dream that we put off for other things or people, would we have chosen to eat healthier, exercised more, loved better, smiled more and forgiven easier? The reason I ponder about these things is to say that the past is the past, but today is today and tomorrow is yet to come. Right now and for the future, we have choices and we should not delay to make some changes or insure that the good things stay intact an securely, love better, stay in shape and healthily, be frugal, and above all else, remember that if we have been forgiven, we have to forgive others. Removing any anger allows the smile to come forth more readily, and it is healthy to smile. Arline Miller 2012

I think we all have great intentions as it would not make any sense on any given day, we wake up to be a failure at anything but we are humans with weaknesses and who doesn’t love a treat, a gift, a pleasure, right? It is when the realization of the repetitive giving into temptations over and over seeps in and becomes a denial. Now, to get really real with myself and hopefully you may find yourself saying oops, I do that. Here are the usual denial hoops we jump through. An additional thought for you to ponder: Apply these hoops by replacing words and see how the denial train stops at all life stations whether it be health, wealth, love, and just life.

  1. I don’t know why I can’t lose weight. I try so hard.
  2. I must have bad genes as I don’t overeat.
  3. I should be able to eat sweets, candy, desserts like all of my friends.
  4. I don’t know why I don’t lose weight because I go walking, or cleaning my house but it doesn’t work.
  5. I plan healthy foods but my family won’t eat them so I stopped making them.
  6. It takes too much time to prepare healthy foods and I work all of the time.

I could go on and on but you get the idea. What I feel would help us the most is to get tremendously honest with ourselves. I will go first with the honest answers to these questions. Seriously, don’t try to deny that we use these reasoning to avoid doing what is necessary to be what we want to be.

  1. Do I try that hard because in the past when I have eaten properly, I have lost weight and until I stopped doing it right, the weight stayed off. Ugh, the truth hurts and that is the truth.
  2. If family genes are the culprit, and I will admit they make it harder but not impossible, we would all be fat or skinny and let’s look at family pictures. My grandparents changed their bodies while living, some didn’t. Okay, I have all of their genes combined. Justifying weight by family history only explains if we are repeating eating habits not gene repetition results.
  3. Okay, I am diabetic type 2, and yes family history but hey, that is no excuse. Someone who is not diabetic should not eat sweets as a constant “nutritional” food. It is not one and is very addictive. The more sweets we eat, the more we want and so goes the vicious cycle. One good reminder of how much sugar plays into our weight, is to think back when sugar was a novelty and not a substance. Pictures prove hardly any percentage of people were obese. Those who were likely had their hands on sugar supplies.
  4. Here is my personal truth….I don’t exercise and there it is, the hard truth. When I was younger, I worked at more physical jobs and walked, ran, and danced like a fool but I moved. I don’t need to make excuses; I should move.
  5. This is one I may be the least guilty of using. My family will join in and eat healthy if I prepare it. Do they always like to keep eating healthy? No, but I am being honest. Neither do I. I love the tempting foods and I bleed Southern fattening cooking blood so I have to be aware of my deficiency in desiring healthy foods. The bottom line is do I want to sabotage my health in this way?
  6. This is a myth and I will have to say, I don’t use this denial tool but I have heard others say it many times. Do you?
Stickabilty will stop us from having to use any denial tactics and will move us toward our goals so Stick with your healthy eating and living programs.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material, if source is known, is referenced to original location for credit reference.

MORALIZING NOT POLITICIZING

For over a year, I have steered away from political posts and I have gritted my teeth at so many things I disagree. However, today’s post is not directed at politics but moral values. I feel we as a society and even the world have forgotten our moral values. This is an encompassing trend and it is swallowing what makes not only our country but it is showing up everywhere. Let’s get real and see what as individuals, not party members, and not even Americans, but as a human race. I fear if we don’t grab on to the simplest of life’s lessons, we will not survive for long.

Next, even though I have strong faith and Godly beliefs, I am not preaching on this blog. Having a close relationship with God, I know what I want to do and what God is pleased when I do those things. I am a realist, knowing that each person has to find what is the path for them to take. I leave this to the ministers, mentors, and faith servants to help in your faith journey. I am talking about religious or non religious, good ole moral values. The do unto others as you would like to have others do unto you…..The Golden Rule. When is the last time you heard about the Golden Rule? Who stole it? Where did they hide it? When is it going to be found again and reinstated?

Photo Courtesy of The Golden Hammer

It seems as if we have traveled to a different dimension where it is the Black Rule of “I Will Do Unto You before You can Do Unto Me.” This is what is causing the rise in crime, the mistrust of each other, disrespect of human life, and lowering of good judgment, and no recourse for lawlessness. If you have turned a blind eye to not recognizing destructive behavior, you will reap what you sow. Again, this is plain old common sense to preservation of a safe and healthy life for all races, genders, ethnic groups in our world.

Let me put it straight, if I don’t respect you and your life; I have violated your right to live. If you don’t respect me and my life, you have violated my right to live. I don’t have to agree how you live your life, that’s between you and your maker as my life is between me and my maker. What I am talking about is respect of others which is part of moral valuation.

There are four components of moral behavior: moral sensitivity, moral judgment, moral motivation, and moral character. To make moral assessments, one must first know what an action is intended to accomplish and what its possible consequences will be on others. (source Google definition)

Recommended Core Ethical Values

https://www.depts.ttu.edu/murdoughcenter/products/resources/recommended-core-ethical-values.php

The following recommended core ethical values were developed based on research by the program founder, Dr. Ron Bucknam, for the development of an applied ethics in professional practice program to assist in evolving solutions to ethical dilemmas encountered in professional practice.

  1. Integrity, including
    1. Exercising good judgment in professional practice; and
    2. Adherence to ethical principles.
  2. Honesty, including
    1. Truthfulness;
    2. Fairness; and
    3. Sincerity.
  3. Fidelity, including
    1. Faithfulness to clients;
    2. Allegiance to the public trust;
    3. Loyalty to employer, firm or agency;
    4. Loyalty to the profession; and
    5. For the theist, faithfulness to God.
  4. Charity, including
    1. Kindness;
    2. Caring;
    3. Good will;
    4. Tolerance;
    5. Compassion/mercy; and
    6. Adherence to the Golden Rule.
  5. Responsibility, including
    1. Reliability/dependability;
    2. Accountability; and
    3. Trustworthiness.
  6. Self-Discipline, including
    1. Acting with reasonable restraint; and
    2. Not indulging in excessive behavior.
Photo courtesy of Depositphotos

I feel strongly that we cannot change the entire world, we can’t insist upon everyone to believe the same, we cannot embrace immorality as a core value, we can only embrace good moral values in our lives. We can encourage good behavior and not excuse bad behavior. We are responsible for teaching our children love and respect and a love for mankind. It is up to us, as parents, family, and as members of a moralistic society. How about setting examples of being good and not screaming for attention as the Bad Boy or Girl?

Let us Live Life, Love Life, and Live Life to the Fullest by living by the Golden Rule. God is present in my life and I pray He is a big part of your lives as well. If not, at least for now, live by the Golden Rule and treat others as you want to be treated. Until We Read Again……Happy Days to You and Yours…..Arline Miller.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material, if known, is sourced to original location for credit references.

Introduction to Decor Haven on My Blog

As a versatile blogger, a fictional author, and a overly curious mind, I love a lot more than cooking and inspirational thoughts. I love decorating and used to have a business that applied my skills in trade shows and retail displays. I enjoy a lot of styles so this page speaks to my creativity.

I encourage all of you to click on the page at the top of the home page and browse through the pictures. These are homeowners who use their creativity throughout the years and come up with professional looking displays. I like to add some of mine. Since we have readers all over the world in many countries, I would love to see your decors as well. If you are interested in seeing your decors on the blog. Comment with your email address so that I can contact you for permission to use your photos and of course, credit your photos.

If you want to look at Decor Haven, you can click on this link:

https://wordpress.com/page/sippingcupsofinspiration.coffee/7295

Kathy Garland is a Decor Haven Contributor year round with so many colorful displays.

You will see tips, photos, and conversations on this page. As well as the Decor Haven page, please check out the other pages if they are of interest to you. I would love to receive comments on the pages you visit and how you like them or ways I can improve your Sipping Cups of Inspiration experience.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third Party Material is sourced to original location if known for credit references.

When We Eat With Our Minds, Our Body Thrives

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is ed39e-healthy2b4.jpg
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 17fe9-healthy2bfruit.jpg

I thought I would repost this message with some great updates on my personal health. Finding out that I can use the principle of small amounts but eating a well rounded mixture of foods, I have lost over 40 pounds, lowered by A1C, my blood pressure and cholesterol in a better normalcy. It works for me, I am happier than I have ever been, and at 72 feel I am mastering my body for the first time instead of eating controlling me.

WE SHOULD EAT WITH OUR MINDS and NOT OUR MOUTHS. I will throw out a personal opinion on why our minds and not our mouths should determine what and when we should eat. Let’s think about this theory. In our lifetime, we will go on several diets or eating plans. They will be varied and when we go on most of these, if not all; we lose weight, right? My thoughts are what causes the initial weight loss and what changes over time in which the loss begins to dwindle or even disappear? I think I have discovered what is the culprit…..Our minds. When our mind becomes disgusted when our eyes show the extra weight in the mirror, it can either decide to avoid thoughts of obesity or decide to do something about it.Let me share this: It is not the diet or eating plan; it is the mind who decides if we are full or because of emotions it decides to allow us to overeat. 

A personal note: Some time ago, my husband Greg and I decided (look at the action of the mind) to not play around with eating healthy but get serious. Since we “decided” and not allowed our mouths to do the talking; we have both lost weight, our emotions are calmer, our motivation is higher and the results are a better attitude as well as feeling better. I had expressed it is not only what we eat; quantity is a big factor. Large amounts of salads or fruit or going the protein maximum will not allow us to lose what we need to eat but add portion control to these great foods aids in the satisfaction of eating without starving. Greg has dropped about 10 pounds during this time and he is now “thinking” about what he eats and how much. Even though I had already decided my health was more important, it has helped me eliminate some items and add some healthier foods. I wanted to share with everyone as too many times, we are guilty of talking the health talk but fail to walk the health walk. Just saying our intentions but not involving some serious mind changing methods; it would only be another diet tried and failed. The real reason any diet fails is the mind is not engaged; only the mouth. Try to think about this post and see if you find yourself retracing your “diet” history. When you wanted to lose; I mean when you really wanted to lose; you lost. When you only played with dieting; you might have lost a few pounds and without thinking; you stuck a cookie or candy or even pizza. Instant sabotage, but I can guarantee you; you didn’t think before you stuffed your mouth with those diet killers. I am not preaching; I am reminiscing about my diet history. When I think about what I eat, I lose. When I impulsively eat; it doesn’t work and off another great, sensational, guaranteed to lose, return to my high school figure, lose all fat non fail plan one more time. Does this ring a bell with you or at least start you thinking? I hope so as we are thinking our food through!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 3dfb1-roses.jpg

The following is an excerpt from an article called Mindful Eating-Curbing Stress:

How to Put Mind Over Mouth

Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., president of the board of directors at the Center for Mindful Eating, shares tips on how to break the pattern of stress-induced munching.

By Carin GorrellSep 17, 2007

During a high-stress situation it’s natural to feel pulled toward something that distracts you and makes you feel better fast — and often that something is food, explains Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Indiana State University and president of the board of directors at the Center for Mindful Eating. “Eating can become an automatic, unconscious response to tension and anxiety,” says Kristeller. “But learning to become more mindful in these moments can help you break that pattern of automatic reactivity.” Here’s how.

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU’RE STRESSED. “We don’t always recognize when we’re on edge, and it’s hard to interrupt something if you don’t know you’re in the middle of it,” says Kristeller. Learn to recognize your stress signals, which might include headaches, rapid breathing, or munching when you’re not hungry.

ENJOY WHAT YOU’RE EATING. “If you’re just stuffing food down, you’re not enjoying its tastes, textures, and smells, which is how we derive comfort from food in the first place,” says Kristeller. The more you savor your food, the fewer bites you’ll need to get the comfort you seek.

LISTEN TO YOUR WISDOM FROM PAST EXPERIENCES. Maybe during your last stress-induced binge you devoured a half-dozen doughnuts — and the guilt you felt afterward only added to your stress. This time, take steps to maintain portion control: Pick up a single doughnut at the bakery instead of a dozen.

PAUSE. When you find yourself mindlessly diving into a bag of potato chips, stop and check in with yourself. “Think: Do I really want to eat this? Is it going to be helpful?” suggests Kristeller. Taking this moment to reflect can help interrupt the automatic urge to nosh.

DON’T IGNORE YOUR CRAVINGS. Denying that those cookies are calling your name will only strengthen your desire to have one, but acknowledging your craving creates choice: Do you want to have one cookie now, or wait until the urge is so overpowering that you inhale an entire sleeve of cookies? Recognizing that you have choices puts you in charge, not the craving.

EVALUATE YOUR HUNGER. “Often we don’t distinguish between physical hunger and emotionally driven cravings,” says Kristeller. Rate your physical hunger on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being not hungry at all and 10 being famished. If it’s a 0, 1, or 2, reconsider that pantry raid. If it’s a 9 or 10, eat something healthy first: “If you’re really, really hungry, you’re more vulnerable to overeating,” says Kristeller.

***************************End of excerpt from article.

  On a light, positive note I want to post a writing from this morning to all.  This morning I rose with gratitude in my heart, humility in my soul, and joy in my entire body. God grants us the opportunity to be diligent in our faith and today is a great day to serve Him with love, forgiveness, charity, and kindness.

“When we willingly love,We receive from above.

Life is a wonderful gift.We are given such a lift.

Beauty is joy bestowed.Immense love has flowed.

From the stem of a rose.To the child’s turned up nose.

When we willingly love, God smiles from above.”

(written by Arline Miller 02/17/2016)

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third Party Material is sourced to original location if known for credit reference.

RUN, RUN, RUN FROM A NARCISSIST

In this current state of the world, there is enough to deal with, accept, and try to survive without the added non-winnable struggle with a narcissist. For the life of me, it seems almost impossible to fathom that a person can be so in a love hate relationship with themselves to completely disregard another person’s feelings. The only advise I can give is to imitate Forest Gump and RUN, RUN, as quickly as you can as you are running for your life!

Before you beat yourself up, let’s take a look at an excerpt addressing why people are attracted and fall in love with a narcissist.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ask-the-therapist/201809/why-do-people-fall-in-love-narcissists

“People fall in love with narcissists for so many reasons. Some of them have to do with the person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), whereas other reasons have more to do with the intoxicating nature of feeling like “the chosen one.” Of course, each person with NPD is an individual, with their own personality, appealing characteristics, issues, etc. However, what they do have in common is a lack of object constancy (the inability to maintain a positive emotional tie to someone when they are upset with them), very little emotional empathy for others, and extreme difficulty self-regulating their moods, self-esteem, reactive behaviors based on their emotionally distorted experience of the world.

Why do people fall in love with narcissists?

Some narcissists have other wonderful qualities.

Many narcissists have other wonderful qualities, which may include: power, intelligence, good looks, a good sense of humor, charm, liveliness, fun, prestige, and other commonly appealing qualities. Of course, there are plenty of narcissists who do not have any of these qualities, but people are often surprised how easy it is to fall in love with a narcissist regardless.

They can be intoxicating.

Not every narcissist is charming, but the ones that are can be truly intoxicating. At their best, when a narcissist “picks you” many people feel special, wanted, chosen, and find this to be very intoxicating. This is the stage when they are viewing you as the perfect being that they are pursuing, and the average person is unlikely to have any idea how quickly these feelings can change, and what the relationship is likely to feel like when the narcissist does not find them to be so shiny anymore. By this point, many people are so in love and tangled in the relationship, that it can be very painful and difficult to break-up.”

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Feconomictimes.indiatimes.com%2Fmagazines%2Fpanache%2Fit-is-high-time-you-stopped-playing-an-empath-to-a-narcissist%2Farticleshow%2F63692109.cms&psig=AOvVaw0p-C_pqwiPM8F_Qh8CBKUR&ust=1632572143786000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=2ahUKEwjM8O-my5fzAhUSVFMKHbrIBfMQr4kDegUIARCQAg

Here is an excerpt from an article on Why You’re Attracting Narcissists with a link to the entire article for some good advice and information.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-stop-attracting-narcissists-and-abusers

Have you found that you keep attracting narcissists? The inability to empathize, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and an excessive and pathological need for admiration are just a few qualities narcissists possess, according to psychotherapist Dana Dorfman, Ph.D. Those are obviously not traits of a loving and supportive partner. So why do some people attract narcissists over and over again? Here’s everything you need to know about why this keeps happening and how to say goodbye to them for good: 

Photo courtesy of Owication

1. You have a narcissistic parent.

2. You’re an empathic person.

3. You have low self-esteem.

4. You deny your own needs.

5. They make you feel good (sometimes).

How to stop attracting narcissists: 

1. Set firm boundaries.

2. Work on developing rock-solid confidence.

3. Home in on a person’s values.

4. Identify red flags.

5. Avoid anyone who tries to control your behavior.

Please click on the link above to read the entire article by Sally Fielding, mbg Contributor

Photo courtesy of medium.com

As a business person, I have encountered many narcissists and I want to interject a personal statement. Don’t confuse a person with good self esteem and confidence with a true narcissist. Watch and see if people share their good qualities to help others. If it always has to be about them, look for the other signs…..you will usually find the red flags. I don’t want to discourage anyone from being the best they can be but if it is never paid forward, you may be dealing with a narcissist. Again, and let me keep repeating, RUN, RUN, make tracks and your life will benefit from the absence of any narcissist.

Life is made to live it happily. It will never be perfect, but one way to make it closer is choose who shares your life with you very carefully.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. All third party material is sourced, if known, with original location for credit references.

SHOULD I USE AIR OR PRESSURE IN MY COOKING?

From the number of views on the last post about using my InstaPot, I could tell a lot of you are interested about learning more about these convenient ways to cook. I have to say that when my husband purchased my InstaPot, I was slightly apprehensive from the stories of the old style pressure cooker and did not use it “instantly”. I want to put that worry to rest. As with any appliances, you should follow the instructions and only the methods they have approved. I love my InstaPot now and My Power Air Fryer Oven is the bomb.

Do you know you can make salmon patties easily, healthier in the Air Fryer Oven? I do.

If you want to see a sample of how many recipes you can make using your Air Fryer/Oven, please go to my Pinterest account and browse. You will find yourself even making a quick amount of biscuits in it. The link is: https://www.pinterest.com/alm06/power-air-fryer-oven-cooking/

This is one of my pinned Air Fryer Recipes on my board listed above.

What I would like to give you are some tips on using the air fryer for the handy-dandy leftover warming magician:

  • We prepare a large amount of sausage, bacon, and other meats, burgers, etc. for the convenience of having a quick put together breakfast, lunch, or snack. A few minutes and all of these foods warm up without getting the microwave softening. Easy to clean, no pots to wash, so we use ours sometimes several times a day.
  • Leftover biscuits, rolls, croissants, buns, and toast as well as pastries brown so easily and have a crispy outside crust. This has sold me on the air fryer.
  • Using the air fryer oven saves us time as we can use it, remove the grill shelf which washes great in the dishwasher, and we are done.
  • I haven’t figured out why hot dogs taste incredible in the air fryer, but it is almost like grilled hot dogs without having to crank up the grill.
  • French fries are like the fast food restaurants if you use the method they suggest. We have the turn barrel and I can’t tell the difference except for the absence of so much grease from the fast food fries.

I can go on and on about using the Power Air Fryer Oven but it will be more fun if you get on the air waves and make something yummy and so convenient. I take my door off mine, keep it clean by easy method, and it sits on my counter ready to make my life easy.

Happy Meals to You….Until We Cook Again….Arline Miller, Reinvention Queen.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third Party Material is sourced if known to original location for credit references.

DANCE OF THE GOLDEN LEAF III

PHOTO COURTESY OF GORDON AND MARTHA CLYATT

This morning, I woke up and this post was on my mind. Fall is a great time and although we are practicing Social Distancing, we can gather in our minds and allow the thought of falling leaves and the beauty of the wondrous fall season to take us to the crispy air, the vivid warm colors for a relaxing trip of the mind. I am reposting as you can see from my poetry inspirational pieces contained in this post. I hope you enjoy it.

When Leaves Fall


I walked out on our deck to see

If we had any falling leaf activity.

A few had scattered on the deck.

I felt fall is here; the world’s a wreck.


Isn’t this the time we usually slow down?

Don’t we take trips and walk around town?

What is so different and what is wrong?

I want to hear the wind’s falling leaf song.


The wind and some rain gently will say.

Time to get all this drama out of your way.

God made this time to slow us down to see.

Why he paints the leaves and bears the tree.


Don’t walk so fast and why your sudden haste?

Stop and look so My Beauty isn’t a total waste.

Each leaf has a story as so does all of you.

Listen and hear the tale of earth’s classic view.


God made the leaves, the trees, and birds too.

A plan to give you a place for peace to ensue.

Keep your heart pure and your thoughts clean.

Nothing on this earth to ever come between.


Me with my coffee with a golden red leaf in hand.

You are right God, the beautiful canvas is the land.

I need this time with My Savior with no distraction.

Give me peace, silence, love, and soul satisfaction.

Written by Arline Miller for Welcome to Fall 2020

DANCE OF THE GOLDEN LEAF II has been posted to remind us of the beauty at this time of the year and even in the midst of so much rhetoric from all political sides, we should stop all the chatter, walk outside and look around this beautiful world we have been blessed to live in. This post is meant to calm and soothe all of the ruffled feathers and instead focus on the rustling leaves. I am fortunate to have wonderful friends and am please to include a slide show from their mountain vacation this year so it proves God doesn’t take a vacation and is creating new joys for us to enjoy.    

DANCE OF THE GOLDEN LEAF

The blue sky as its brilliant backdrop
The patchwork of fall colors as its floor
One ballerina maple leaf costumed in gold
Began its beautiful dance of descent.
Mesmerizing twists of lifts without stops
Leaps and swirls with imaginary arms
Reaching to the heavenly skies
Pointing to earth once more
Quite torn between its choice
Freedom from holding onto the branch
Should she soar through the skies
Or cling to the earth’s solid ground
This choice the ballerina will make
but for a little longer
The leaf will continue to dance.
Written by Arline L Miller, Author  

  My husband and I were blessed to spend 5 days in the NC mountains with family and friends at Gordon and Martha’s cabin. Since we are all workaholics, this seemed to halt the train of business thoughts and put in the most relaxed moods. I was inspired by nature’s compelling entrancement and realized there are times to shut the hectic, busy life down and chill. Sitting out on the 2nd level porch with the mountains in view and having some great conversations with Martha and Sandra, I began to watch a gold maple leaf dancing in the fall sky. I watched as it performed a melodic dance and it inspired the poem I wrote upon waking up. I shared it with the ladies later in that day and was reminded of the gift God has blessed me with. I imagine you think I meant the gift of writing. I thank God daily for that. What I was reminded is how blessed we are to share thoughts, writing, beliefs, creativity, recipes, singing (listening to good singing for me as I can’t hit any note correctly). Writing is my gift but God has surrounded me with great people who have been so richly blessed and they like to share their gifts and talents with me. How great a gift that is! Gordon drove us through those mountains like a pro guide with such ease and composure while I was reminded of my fear of open heights. Those narrow roads with traffic both ways would have been a challenge I wouldn’t have attempted. Greg would have taken it in stride too. I was reminded how blessed we are to have them in our lives for those times we feel uncomfortable because they took us to the height of God’s beauty for us to enjoy without fear. Now for the deeper thought……When we appreciate the gifts we have been given, both direct gifts and gifts inherited from others, life is at its fullest. I am humbled when I learn from those who can accomplish something I am not comfortable or don’t know how to do. To each of us, God decided what one can do and if they are humbled by God’s blessing on them to teach others, we can be further blessed by sharing these gifts. I thank God he has surrounded me with talented and learned people who are willing to share. Please God, allow me to do the same for someone every day you bless me to live.    

1 Peter 4:10-11ESV    As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material sourced to original location for credit.

Would You Compete If You Knew You Would Lose?

As I thought about times when there is a winner and loser such as sports and politics, I wondered if the losers would have competed if they knew the outcome. I wrote a Facebook post that I am sharing with my blog readers.

Morning Thought: If you could know the outcome of every situation, would you make the same decisions? Would you go forward knowing you would fail? Would you compete if you knew you would lose? Of course, if you knew you would win and succeed, you would go at a high pace. What we do know and it’s how life works, is the challenges in place which make us stronger if we learn from both the successes and failures. They both will happen to those who try. The only loss that is life defying is when someone sits on the sidelines without even trying. When they claim defeat without competing. In my lifetime, I have experienced both and learned from both. Successes have taught me I can win, not always, but the averages are in my favor. Losses have taught me to keep trying, maybe not the same thing in which I failed, but expansion of my talents in other directions. Failure is a temporary state if you get back up, dust yourself off, and get after life. Flaws sometime make us stronger because when they are overcome, they become a strength. God made us with flaws and strengths to balance us as humans. God could have made us perfect, but we can obtain a high degree of overcoming imperfection with God’s help. I look at life as a recipe where we have all of the ingredients, we mix them up, we stir and add other ingredients, we taste, and it is apparent, we are missing something. We pick up a spice or two, we taste again, and then we realize we need a little sugar to even out and make the other ingredients marry in a good way and it is delicious. God is the missing ingredient and once He is added, God will blend everything in our recipe of life. Don’t forget to add God to your life. You will be pleased how sweet life can be and your family and friends will enjoy your cooking.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.moravian.org%2F2018%2F08%2Fi-am-the-bread-of-life%2F&psig=AOvVaw2OOfunYjgVgIW-YwFISOtc&ust=1631790759955000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjhxqFwoTCLD457bsgPMCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ

John 6:35 ESV Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.John 6:51 ESV I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.”Matthew 4:4 ESV But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Quoteszilla.com (courtesy of Pinterest)

In life it is wise to consider:

  • Be prepared for the unexpected, win or lose, prepare to compete.
  • Competition is more about competing with yourself to do better than before.
  • Learn from the failures, if you experience it and apply those lessons in the future.
  • Be humble in both wins and losses, character strength is the best asset you possess.
  • Practice, practice, practice in all phases in life. Do good, do great, and do your best.
  • Be realistic in goals. Maybe a 5 foot person could achieve good things in basketball, but the odds are definitely not in your favor. Start with the best odds by analyzing your best qualities. If you run fast, maybe track or cross country is a possibility. If you have a good aim and eyesight, target or bow sports may be an option. Think about your assets and tweak your flaws to obtain the best possible odds of success but be realistic by not setting yourself up for failure.
Courtesy of Quotemaster

(C) Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location/author if known.

Gifting of Ourselves Is The Best Gift

So many times in our lives, we fail to acknowledge the gifts we have been bestowed in life. We see ourselves smaller than we are and even though humbleness is a beautiful asset to have, we may be missing the point. If God has bestowed a gift in our life as the ability to write, sing, paint, build, organize, etc., are we not cheating God out of a praise moment. Below I have added my FB post this morning. We will dive deeper after you’ve had a chance to read it.

I used one of my husband’s photos to show how we can possess a talent and not recognize it until later in life. Thanks Greg Miller for having the “eye”.

As a young person, and maybe my gift was having “guts” to try new things without worrying about the consequence of failure. I am not saying this to boast as I am a normal person but God blessed me with a curiosity that allows me to question, seek, search, and try something new. Because of this curiosity, I expanded a small town girl’s life by doing a lot of interesting and learning new things. If I had to sum my inner self up, I would say gutsy. If I didn’t know how to do something and the opportunity came along, I would step up and say I will try it. As I moved forward in life, it became easier to jump at an opportunity. I will list a Live by Arline’s Do’s and Dont’s so you can get an idea of how I think. Am I saying you should do what I did? Not hardly, as I am not famous or wealthy, so my ideas are not to Get Rich or Famous but I have lived an interesting life and at age 72, I feel strong and smile a lot, know that I have a close relationship with God and family and my friends are family to me too. What I do suggest is to try new things, not self sabotaging, but new. Step out of that comfort zone. Grab a paint brush, cook new dishes, change your hair style, do special things for people without expecting anything in return, write down your thoughts, volunteer and give your time for good causes, start a workout routine, congratulate others for a great accomplishment, and support those trying to do something great. You will be surprised at how little aches and pains diminish, smiles come more often, and tears come less frequently. You may really be surprised at a new talent being born. Be sure to encourage and support young people who are trying to fit in and give them the benefit of your attempts at things, both successful and not so successful tries, as they need to see you as being “REAL”. Here is my track record:

Arline Miller, author and blogger, cook and baker, wife, mother, and Nana loving life
  • I aimed high as a student and as a matter of fact probably overstudied but I found time to work and made honor graduate.
  • I had a curiosity to read, watch, learn, and loved to watch people’s actions and mannerisms. Later, when I decided to write a book this experience gave my characters a realistic persona.
  • I developed strong work ethics of organization, creativity, attitude, and a desire to figure out how to do each job easier, smarter, and more efficiently. Later, as I became a business professional, I was and still am a problem solver.
  • I was a sponge in everything. I love to cook and bake and I can assure you I soak up ideas from professionals but I am not shy about doing it Arline’s way. I add and subtract from a recipe and now I develop my own. Do I ever fail? Why yes, but not as often as before and getting better as I grow.
  • I understand the philosophy of never being a “I know it all. I know better than others. I am the best.” Instead, I practice “I can learn anything. Others can teach me new ways. I am striving to be the best I can be while gaining from others.”

Life is definitely for the living and as I say, Don’t let everyday living get in the way of living life to the fullest. Give of yourself and you will get back. Don’t be shy, as the world will give you the tools to expand on the Gifts from God. You have some waiting to come from within and see what life has in store for you. Encourage don’t Discourage anyone or even yourself from giving it a shot!!

(C)Copyright 2012-2021 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third Party Material will be sourced if known for credit references.